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The thin line between love and hate
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Old 01-25-2009, 08:36 PM   #1
DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
 
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Bros Before Hoes policy

It comes to no surprise that the "bros before hoes" policy is the code of the streets amongst friends.
But due to some recent events, I've been wondering all of a sudden: how exactly are these boundaries set?


Take for instance this hypothetical example:
Guy A and Guy B are buddies who both fall for Girl C.
-A met C first; known her for a week and takes an interest in her.
-A introduces C to B (with the intention of introducing his own"to-be-girlfriend" to his buddy)
-C turns out to be more interested in B than A.

What would A do in this instance? B?


I mean, the logical thing for B to do would be to step down; but C doesn't even show that great of an interest in A.



TIA
-Physixx


edit: I should probably add that A does not know about B and C falling for each other yet, if it changes anything.


Last edited by Culture_Vulture; 01-26-2009 at 05:05 AM.
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Old 01-25-2009, 08:41 PM   #2
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Being the gentleman that I am, I would step down if I were A
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Old 01-25-2009, 08:41 PM   #3
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Old 01-25-2009, 08:44 PM   #4
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I wouldn't fight with B is I was A, and would just let C have at B. Reason being is I wouldn't want to ruin my relationship with B.
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Old 01-25-2009, 08:48 PM   #5
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even though A met C first, that clearly entitles A "dibs" on C. with C showing interest in B, B is not allowed to pursue without A's consent. with this consent, B must now owe a favor to A, such as wingman or introduce A to D and hope for the best!
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Old 01-25-2009, 08:49 PM   #6
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let the first guy have her. plenty of broads to bone.
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Old 01-25-2009, 09:11 PM   #7
DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Illuminate View Post
Being the gentleman that I am, I would step down if I were A
and if you were B but not A?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jdp View Post
I wouldn't fight with B is I was A, and would just let C have at B. Reason being is I wouldn't want to ruin my relationship with B.
same question: and if you were in B's shoes?
how would you/should you feel?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stewie View Post
even though A met C first, that clearly entitles A "dibs" on C. with C showing interest in B, B is not allowed to pursue without A's consent. with this consent, B must now owe a favor to A, such as wingman or introduce A to D and hope for the best!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneThug View Post
let the first guy have her. plenty of broads to bone.
I'm the said B right now; and that is what I'm considering at the moment.

-Physixx


edit: I should probably add that A does not know about B and C falling for each other yet, if it changes anything.
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Old 01-25-2009, 09:12 PM   #8
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tell your buddy you wanna ask her out?
or wait for him to get denied and then ask her out.
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Old 01-25-2009, 09:30 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Physixx View Post
and if you were B but not A?


same question: and if you were in B's shoes?
how would you/should you feel?

I'm the said B right now; and that is what I'm considering at the moment.

-Physixx

edit: I should probably add that A does not know about B and C falling for each other yet, if it changes anything.
Talk to your buddy, that's what a real man would do, even if you know he will get mad
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Old 01-25-2009, 11:11 PM   #10
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pussy is pussy
a and b need to duke it out
if you are b
and you know a likes the girl
but a doesn't know
be dirty man
use that to your advantage
and try to get that

your friendship with a will eventually fix itself.. if not....
then fuckit.
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Old 01-25-2009, 11:13 PM   #11
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that tail is FAIR GAME
doesnt matter who knows what
its about whos the smartest

if someone tells you they like this girl
and secretly you like the girl as well
take this as a sign for you to go get that

which brings to what ive thought about..
what can be declared as fair game?
i think in this situation she can be declared as fair game

i think the only situation where tail is not fair game, is if tail is a close buddy's ex. or current gf (on a break)
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Old 01-25-2009, 11:24 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fnguyen96 View Post
that tail is FAIR GAME
doesnt matter who knows what
its about whos the smartest

if someone tells you they like this girl
and secretly you like the girl as well
take this as a sign for you to go get that

which brings to what ive thought about..
what can be declared as fair game?
i think in this situation she can be declared as fair game

i think the only situation where tail is not fair game, is if tail is a close buddy's ex. or current gf (on a break)

calling her fair game pretty much ruels out the whole bro's before hoes...

if your buddy met her first, and he introduced you to her, hes got first crack at her, ESPECIALLY if you know he likes her! either wait it out, or tell him you wanna ask her out...its called bros before hoes for a reason....think of your buddies before the bitch! chicks come and go, your buddies shouldnt!
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Old 01-25-2009, 11:30 PM   #13
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did A tell B a/b his interest in C before she was introduced to B??
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Old 01-25-2009, 11:34 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ah_cat View Post
did A tell B a/b his interest in C before she was introduced to B??
do you hang out with ugly girls for no reason and start introducing them to your friends for no reason as well?

guy A probably figured to let the girl see that hes a cool guy and his friends are awesome by introducing her to some.
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Old 01-25-2009, 11:54 PM   #15
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^ point taken.
i'm not a guy so i don't know.
some ppl just like to intro ppl to others
and MAYBE, A thought C would be perfect for B??
some bros like to think of their boys and hook them up w/ someone if he feels that they're compatible.
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Old 01-26-2009, 12:45 AM   #16
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^ Worse situation to OP's post. What if A and B were brothers?
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Old 01-26-2009, 03:06 AM   #17
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Thanks for the replies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stewie View Post
tell your buddy you wanna ask her out?
or wait for him to get denied and then ask her out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Illuminate View Post
Talk to your buddy, that's what a real man would do, even if you know he will get mad
I would talk to him,
but that's only under the condition that B decides to go after C.
Because other than that, there's no reason to create the extra conflict for no reason saying "Hey bro, I like C, but you can have her". That doesn't make sense to me at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fnguyen96 View Post
pussy is pussy
a and b need to duke it out
if you are b
and you know a likes the girl
but a doesn't know
be dirty man
use that to your advantage
and try to get that

your friendship with a will eventually fix itself.. if not....
then fuckit.
Certainly not the average reply on this type of topic,
though I don't know if I could be as ruthless as you

There is actually a reason why I would completely ignore this suggestion; and it's because we do share a mutual ex-girlfriend as well. (Though we got off on really good terms for a situation like that).

Quote:
Originally Posted by ah_cat View Post
did A tell B a/b his interest in C before she was introduced to B??
Quote:
Originally Posted by stewie View Post
do you hang out with ugly girls for no reason and start introducing them to your friends for no reason as well?

guy A probably figured to let the girl see that hes a cool guy and his friends are awesome by introducing her to some.
Yes,
A introduced C to B with the honest intention of getting his buddy's opinion on his "to-be" girlfriend.

Stewie: As sort of a policy, we try to get our girlfriends to participate as much as they could in our close-knit group (we go long ways back). This isn't exactly an easy task especially given the fact that a lot of us are in different faculties or different schools entirely. Therefore, what makes me feel even worse is that C actually does get along very well with the rest of the gang & their girlfriends.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ah_cat View Post
^ point taken.
i'm not a guy so i don't know.
some ppl just like to intro ppl to others
and MAYBE, A thought C would be perfect for B??
some bros like to think of their boys and hook them up w/ someone if he feels that they're compatible.
Yes, that is what happens sometimes. But unfortunately, that's far from the case in this instance.

This is a bit off topic: but I'm under the impression that females do this more often than males.
Often times, females would invite other female friends out (I don't quite understand the motives in between, but I figure it's too much trouble trying to anyways), along with guys in an outing.
Where the opposite comes, males tend to reject bringing a female friend into a guys' outing for no reason. Usually the only reason is to introduce the girl to the group to get their opinion of sorts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kanachan View Post
^ Worse situation to OP's post. What if A and B were brothers?
Actually, if A and B were real brothers, then I believe the situation would be a lot less complicated. A lot less complicated in the sense that no matter what happens, you came from the same abdomen, and you'll likely still live under the same roof for years to come.
Just a thought; I don't have a brother that would be interested in the same age group of girls as me, so I wouldn't actually know.



Thanks again.
-Physixx

Last edited by Culture_Vulture; 01-26-2009 at 05:51 AM. Reason: kan't speel
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Old 01-26-2009, 03:14 AM   #18
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Or A and B shouldn't date C. That way it won't hurt anyone.
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Old 01-26-2009, 04:49 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Physixx View Post
It comes to no surprise that the "bros before hoes" policy is the code of the streets amongst friends.
But due to some recent events, I've been wondering all of a sudden: how exactly are these boundaries set?


Take for instance this hypothetical example:
Guy A and Guy B are buddies who both fall for Girl C.
-A met C first; known her for a week and takes an interest in her.
-A introduces C to B (with the intention of introducing his own"to-be-girlfriend" to his buddy)
-C turns out to be more interested in B than A.

What would A do in this instance? B?


I mean, the logical thing for B to do would be to step down; but C doesn't even show that great of an interest in A.



TIA
-Physixx
A:

Let's consider A's situational points here.

1) Yes, although you've known C for atleast 1 week, this isn't to say you're too in deep in any sort of beyond-friend relationship. A just has not known C long enough to really make their relationship a really significant one

2) Knowing that by having introduced B to C with the intention of simply having C become familiar with some of A's friends, and that C has already shown "that" sort of interest towards B from the get-go, its safe to say that A is already fighting a losing battle, especially one where the spoils aren't yet worth the blood, sweat, and tears.

3) A now knows C has interest in B, does A really want to continue some sort of relationship with a fleeting interest at the expense that she did not initially have the same interest with A as she did with B? Yes, it could just be skin deep attraction, but thats what any sort of attraction begins with, the physical (Not saying A isn't attractive, just not her type perhaps).

The bro's before hoes approach for A:

Yes, you're interested, but is it worth all the challenge and effort to go for a girl who hasen't shown the type of interest toward you that might lead to a relationship? I'm not saying its not possible, but unprobable, now that you've figured out that she was treating you differently than she would someone she's interested in. The verdict? You're only 1 week in, you don't know her TOO well at best, she's obviously interested in B, its going to take a lot of patience and effort to really win her over without B showing up now and then, and you're not in too deep so it shouldn't be more than a brush of the shoulder.

B:

Not-Interested?

C is interested in B, and if B isn't so interested in return, well then, why bother? Don't spite your friend.

Interested?

If B is interested in getting to know C, then regardless of whether B is aware of whether A is interested in C or not, B needs to address A first. No, this isn't like A has marked C as his "girl", but in terms of a Bro's before Hoes mentality, it would be B's responsibility to address the possibility of A having a possible interest in C. The tough part for B is trying to get A to understand the said situational points for A (above), and that being interested, B obviously will have the upper hand from the start.

The bro's before hoes approach for B:

If you're not interested, just ignore her and leave it be, don't spite your friends. Chances are, she'll figure you aren't interested and will continue on with life, perhaps giving A some sort of chance (although in the back of his mind, he will always know she wasen't initially attracted to him).

If you're interested, talk it out with A. If he's any sort of friend, he'll understand the situation and back down. There's no need to be nice guy in a situation where its obvious that you and her have an attraction and A is the only one getting in the way and ruining your friendship.



My taken perspective is that, seeing how C already has an attraction toward B, its not worth the trouble for A to work so hard for a girl he's only known for a week. If she were someone that A had known for a long time and was interested, the story would be different. Its obvious A will have to put some sort of extra effort to gain the affection of C, as there wasen't the same initial attraction, but for a girl that A has only known for a week, that extra effort has no ground to stand on.
In my theory, should B not be interested, and A go for a relationship, A will knowingly be with a girl who wasen't initially attracted to him in a relationship-perspective, which to me isn't the type of relationship I would be really satisfied with.

Besides, keeping in line with traditional views on "love at first sight", it obviously isn't going in A's favour, but for B, this could be the "one" if hes as interested as C is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Physixx View Post
edit: I should probably add that A does not know about B and C falling for each other yet, if it changes anything.
/facepalm damn.. just saw this and it just screwed over half my argument
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Old 01-26-2009, 05:46 AM   #20
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A:


/facepalm damn.. just saw this and it just screwed over half my argument
That's fine.
The first part of my question can't be answered with that statement present anyways.

-Physixx
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:08 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Physixx View Post
It comes to no surprise that the "bros before hoes" policy is the code of the streets amongst friends.
But due to some recent events, I've been wondering all of a sudden: how exactly are these boundaries set?


Take for instance this hypothetical example:
Guy A and Guy B are buddies who both fall for Girl C.
-A met C first; known her for a week and takes an interest in her.
-A introduces C to B (with the intention of introducing his own"to-be-girlfriend" to his buddy)
-C turns out to be more interested in B than A.

What would A do in this instance? B?


I mean, the logical thing for B to do would be to step down; but C doesn't even show that great of an interest in A.



TIA
-Physixx


edit: I should probably add that A does not know about B and C falling for each other yet, if it changes anything.
Ouch. Hate these situations. Been in sorta the same situation. A friend and I met a guy at the same time, I liked him, he liked her, I stepped out of the way. It was as simple as that once I forced the feelings out the door. No point in fighting about someone who's not even interested right?

Just be sure to talk to them about it, otherwise wack shit can happen.
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:29 AM   #22
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It sounds like A has no chance with the girl anyway, he just needs time to figure it out. Either way he'll get mad because he thinks he's entitled to her / has "dibs", but doesn't realize that ultimately it's the girls decision.

Like others have said though, there are plenty of girls out there, both A and B should find a different one.
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:39 AM   #23
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if i was guy A and was totally cool with it i'd tell B to go get it.
they come and go but bros=bros

if i was B, i would have to talk to A about it first and pursue only if he was cool about it. if he wasn't then its off limits.

imo friendship/loyalty are important things. ive been guy A before and guy B approached me about it, no hesitation, i told him to go get it.

actually i was guy A another time and guy B started digging girl C but girl C was diggin me but i told B to go for it.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:48 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stewie View Post
even though A met C first, that clearly entitles A "dibs" on C. with C showing interest in B, B is not allowed to pursue without A's consent. with this consent, B must now owe a favor to A, such as wingman or introduce A to D and hope for the best!
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:48 AM   #25
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C likes B. So unless you do major cockblocking, there's nothing A can do.

Only option A has left. Is let B have C, and A masturbate to C and B doing it.
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