| Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. |
 | | 
02-11-2009, 02:27 PM
|
#1 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: May 2008 Location: B.C.
Posts: 2,039
Thanked 101 Times in 57 Posts
Failed 44 Times in 20 Posts
| have you ever wonder ?
EVER WONDER where we are headed...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline:
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why you have to click on 'Start'
to stop Windows ?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a 'Broker'?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
'new & improved' flavour?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport 'the terminal'
if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
'Do not use while sleeping'.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
'Directions: Use like regular soap'.
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
'Serving suggestion: Defrost'
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(Printed on bottom):
'Do not turn upside down'.
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
'Product will be hot after heating'.
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
'Do not iron clothes on body'.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
'Warning: May cause drowsiness'.
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
'For indoor or outdoor use only'.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
'Not to be used for the other use'.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
'Warning: contains nuts'.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts'.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals'.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
| 
|  | | This post thanked by: | !Tigger, Adsdeman, avinayyar, Boinky, bombay, MG1, NimbeeTT, Noir, Prostrho, rubencruz, [jsx] sky | |
02-11-2009, 02:40 PM
|
#2 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Van.
Posts: 2,929
Thanked 1,967 Times in 290 Posts
Failed 536 Times in 92 Posts
|
ahhaha wtf.... 
__________________
RIP JN
UNCE UNCE UNCE! Quote:
Originally Posted by strykn  Comparing A&B with deadmau5? Really? I should fucking slap you | 2007 Acura TL 2005 Acura TL....RIP 2003 Honda Accord Coupe V6....RIP | |
| | |
02-11-2009, 02:41 PM
|
#3 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,760
Thanked 375 Times in 181 Posts
Failed 159 Times in 63 Posts
|
hahahah, those r really funny
good read
__________________
Ignorance is bliss
How I wish I can remain ignorant, why do I know so much?
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 02:44 PM
|
#4 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: May 2001 Location: 604
Posts: 16,870
Thanked 605 Times in 200 Posts
Failed 73 Times in 13 Posts
|
we're all going down hill really quick!
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 03:22 PM
|
#5 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 5,581
Thanked 3,362 Times in 1,415 Posts
Failed 46 Times in 26 Posts
|
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
^^^
My favorite.
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 03:41 PM
|
#6 | | The RS Freebie guru
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: East Vancouver
Posts: 22,032
Thanked 2,491 Times in 860 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 67 Posts
| No... but it makes me wander.
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 03:52 PM
|
#7 | | MoD
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: a rainy city
Posts: 3,486
Thanked 1,805 Times in 227 Posts
Failed 124 Times in 20 Posts
|
a lot of the stupid cautionary things are put there to prevent lawsuits
notice all McDonald cups have "caution, contents may be hot" or caution contents may be cold"?
The reason is some woman actually won her lawsuit against Mcdonalds. She sued Mcdonalds for damages and work loss due to the burning of her tongue from hot coffee. She stated that she didnt know the coffee was hot.
link it wiki but it gives a general understanding: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck...7s_Restaurants
Last edited by k2_alpha; 02-11-2009 at 03:57 PM.
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 04:01 PM
|
#8 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Surrey
Posts: 707
Thanked 747 Times in 121 Posts
Failed 254 Times in 44 Posts
|
ahaha that was a good read  | |
| | |
02-11-2009, 04:11 PM
|
#9 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 243
Thanked 68 Times in 13 Posts
Failed 70 Times in 3 Posts
|
lol good read.
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 05:30 PM
|
#10 | | Circle Stick Square Mod
Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 4,934
Thanked 249 Times in 114 Posts
Failed 21 Times in 13 Posts
|
good read... were all doooomeedd
__________________
91 240sx (Sold)
86 FC3S (Sold)
99 Civic
 | |
| | |
02-11-2009, 05:33 PM
|
#11 | | Trollollolloing RS sine 2005
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Richmond
Posts: 7,093
Thanked 2,471 Times in 704 Posts
Failed 473 Times in 132 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by cyy11 EVER WONDER where we are headed...
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
'new & improved' flavour?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box? | 1. i swear i've seen people put on mascara with their mouths CLOSED
2. someone from the factory actually tastes the food. there is such a job.
3. the plane will be too heavy to fly.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by MajinHurricane I had some girl come into the busser station the other day trying to make out with every staff member and then pull down her pants and asked for someone to stick a dick in her (at least she shaved). | Quote:
Originally Posted by 1exotic Vtec doesn't kick in on Reverse. | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma its like.. oh yeah oh yeah.. ohhhh yeah... OOoooOohh... why's it suddenly feel a bit better... ohhhh yeahh... ohhh...oh..fuck... it probably ripped. | | |
| | |
02-11-2009, 06:00 PM
|
#12 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: BC
Posts: 1,552
Thanked 28 Times in 16 Posts
Failed 3 Times in 3 Posts
|
hahah. awesome!
__________________
-----------------------------------------------
ƒ¹
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 06:03 PM
|
#13 | | I don't get it
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Richmond
Posts: 439
Thanked 37 Times in 22 Posts
Failed 28 Times in 9 Posts
|
i lol'd and now my tongue is burnt from my soup. awesome.
but good read hahaa
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 07:24 PM
|
#14 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 2,456
Thanked 65 Times in 39 Posts
Failed 17 Times in 8 Posts
|
I think I am in a bad mood today....
I can find flaws/explainations in like 75% of those comments without a second though...
__________________
**Resonant Engineering, Xtant, Focal, Pioneer**
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 07:32 PM
|
#15 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Happyland.
Posts: 438
Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
|
ahahah best thread yet.
made my day
__________________
This is going to be LEGENDARY!
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 07:42 PM
|
#16 | | The RS Freebie guru
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: East Vancouver
Posts: 22,032
Thanked 2,491 Times in 860 Posts
Failed 137 Times in 67 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by RX_Renesis 3. the plane will be too heavy to fly. | I think it's not so much the material of the black box, but the shape/design of it. Even if it was made of the same material as an airplane, upon the same velocity impact, a small box is way more likely to stay together than an airplane.
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 07:51 PM
|
#17 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Banned
Posts: 330
Thanked 14 Times in 6 Posts
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
|
I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy.
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 08:10 PM
|
#18 | | WOAH! i think Vtec just kicked in!
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,649
Thanked 308 Times in 53 Posts
Failed 72 Times in 10 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by InvisibleSoul No... but it makes me wander. | haha i knew someone would bring this up when i saw the thread title...
makes me wander too...
__________________
2018 Cayenne E Hybrid - Daily
2002 Honda S2000 - Track Car
2016 Porsche GT4 - Garage Queen
2006 Mitsubishi Evo IX GSR SE - Keeper
| |
| | |
02-11-2009, 08:17 PM
|
#19 | | Chinese Guy, Swedish Rides
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In da GV-ehhhh
Posts: 11,821
Thanked 611 Times in 203 Posts
Failed 57 Times in 28 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by kc1337 I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy. | wtf?
And lolll repost from 1997..I read this in an email forward back then ahahah
| |
| | |
02-12-2009, 01:24 AM
|
#20 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,039
Thanked 512 Times in 96 Posts
Failed 96 Times in 11 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by kc1337 I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy. | HAHA WTF awesome
__________________ My Flickr Quote:
Originally Posted by MelonBoy really?.. some reason im afraid of taking shits after ghost movies.. i always think about what if a ghost's hand came out of the toilet and grabbed my nuts or stuck its hand in my ass -___________-.... i mean if it came outa the mirror id have reaction time to run but the toilets.. thats a pretty good blind spot to sneak up on people from -_____- ... | | |
| | |
02-12-2009, 07:47 AM
|
#21 | | 無敵
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,319
Thanked 406 Times in 150 Posts
Failed 33 Times in 17 Posts
|
Yeah, this is super old and there's answers to most of those. :3
__________________
| |
| | |
02-12-2009, 07:56 AM
|
#22 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,760
Thanked 689 Times in 376 Posts
Failed 61 Times in 38 Posts
|  nice
| |
| | |
02-12-2009, 09:17 AM
|
#23 | | Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 85
Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts
Failed 13 Times in 2 Posts
|
hmmm then why is i can put on mascara with my mouth closed? haha
| |
| | |
02-12-2009, 09:23 AM
|
#24 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 9,441
Thanked 2,377 Times in 445 Posts
Failed 601 Times in 94 Posts
|
This thread is retarded. If you find these things amusing, you pull your thumb out of your asshole.
__________________ Feedback Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason00S2000 Invisible sky daddies commanding people to do shit is just so beyond retarded, I feel like punching myself in the balls until I shit my computer chair. | Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopstick 4 years ago, I pulled up to burger king, and asked to get a teen burger. I realized after the 3rd time i said it, I was in the wrong fucking place.
(>___<) | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sky_High [19-10, 22:51] how many post do I need before I can fail TOS'D posts. | | |
| | |
02-12-2009, 11:32 AM
|
#25 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,203
Thanked 11,832 Times in 5,078 Posts
Failed 317 Times in 203 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphamale This thread is retarded. If you find these things amusing, you pull your thumb out of your asshole. | and sniff it?
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
| |
| | | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:57 PM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
