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02-11-2009, 02:27 PM
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#1 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: May 2008 Location: B.C.
Posts: 2,039
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| have you ever wonder ?
EVER WONDER where we are headed...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline:
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why you have to click on 'Start'
to stop Windows ?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a 'Broker'?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
'new & improved' flavour?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport 'the terminal'
if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
'Do not use while sleeping'.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
'Directions: Use like regular soap'.
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
'Serving suggestion: Defrost'
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(Printed on bottom):
'Do not turn upside down'.
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
'Product will be hot after heating'.
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
'Do not iron clothes on body'.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
'Warning: May cause drowsiness'.
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
'For indoor or outdoor use only'.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
'Not to be used for the other use'.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
'Warning: contains nuts'.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts'.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals'.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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02-11-2009, 02:40 PM
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#2 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Van.
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ahhaha wtf.... 
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UNCE UNCE UNCE! Quote:
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02-11-2009, 02:41 PM
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#3 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,760
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hahahah, those r really funny
good read
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Ignorance is bliss
How I wish I can remain ignorant, why do I know so much?
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02-11-2009, 02:44 PM
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#4 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: May 2001 Location: 604
Posts: 16,870
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we're all going down hill really quick!
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02-11-2009, 03:22 PM
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#5 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 5,593
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If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
^^^
My favorite.
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02-11-2009, 03:41 PM
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#6 | | The RS Freebie guru
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: East Vancouver
Posts: 22,032
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Failed 137 Times in 67 Posts
| No... but it makes me wander.
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02-11-2009, 03:52 PM
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#7 | | MoD
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: a rainy city
Posts: 3,486
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a lot of the stupid cautionary things are put there to prevent lawsuits
notice all McDonald cups have "caution, contents may be hot" or caution contents may be cold"?
The reason is some woman actually won her lawsuit against Mcdonalds. She sued Mcdonalds for damages and work loss due to the burning of her tongue from hot coffee. She stated that she didnt know the coffee was hot.
link it wiki but it gives a general understanding: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck...7s_Restaurants
Last edited by k2_alpha; 02-11-2009 at 03:57 PM.
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02-11-2009, 04:01 PM
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#8 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Surrey
Posts: 707
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ahaha that was a good read  | |
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02-11-2009, 04:11 PM
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#9 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 243
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lol good read.
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02-11-2009, 05:30 PM
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#10 | | Circle Stick Square Mod
Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 4,934
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good read... were all doooomeedd
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02-11-2009, 05:33 PM
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#11 | | Trollollolloing RS sine 2005
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Richmond
Posts: 7,093
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by cyy11 EVER WONDER where we are headed...
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
'new & improved' flavour?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box? | 1. i swear i've seen people put on mascara with their mouths CLOSED
2. someone from the factory actually tastes the food. there is such a job.
3. the plane will be too heavy to fly.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by MajinHurricane I had some girl come into the busser station the other day trying to make out with every staff member and then pull down her pants and asked for someone to stick a dick in her (at least she shaved). | Quote:
Originally Posted by 1exotic Vtec doesn't kick in on Reverse. | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma its like.. oh yeah oh yeah.. ohhhh yeah... OOoooOohh... why's it suddenly feel a bit better... ohhhh yeahh... ohhh...oh..fuck... it probably ripped. | | |
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02-11-2009, 06:00 PM
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#12 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: BC
Posts: 1,552
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hahah. awesome!
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02-11-2009, 06:03 PM
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#13 | | I don't get it
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Richmond
Posts: 439
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i lol'd and now my tongue is burnt from my soup. awesome.
but good read hahaa
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02-11-2009, 07:24 PM
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#14 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 2,456
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I think I am in a bad mood today....
I can find flaws/explainations in like 75% of those comments without a second though...
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02-11-2009, 07:32 PM
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#15 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Happyland.
Posts: 438
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ahahah best thread yet.
made my day
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This is going to be LEGENDARY!
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02-11-2009, 07:42 PM
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#16 | | The RS Freebie guru
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: East Vancouver
Posts: 22,032
Thanked 2,491 Times in 860 Posts
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by RX_Renesis 3. the plane will be too heavy to fly. | I think it's not so much the material of the black box, but the shape/design of it. Even if it was made of the same material as an airplane, upon the same velocity impact, a small box is way more likely to stay together than an airplane.
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02-11-2009, 07:51 PM
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#17 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Banned
Posts: 330
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I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy.
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02-11-2009, 08:10 PM
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#18 | | WOAH! i think Vtec just kicked in!
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,649
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by InvisibleSoul No... but it makes me wander. | haha i knew someone would bring this up when i saw the thread title...
makes me wander too...
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02-11-2009, 08:17 PM
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#19 | | Chinese Guy, Swedish Rides
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In da GV-ehhhh
Posts: 11,821
Thanked 611 Times in 203 Posts
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by kc1337 I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy. | wtf?
And lolll repost from 1997..I read this in an email forward back then ahahah
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02-12-2009, 01:24 AM
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#20 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,039
Thanked 512 Times in 96 Posts
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by kc1337 I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy. | HAHA WTF awesome
__________________ My Flickr Quote:
Originally Posted by MelonBoy really?.. some reason im afraid of taking shits after ghost movies.. i always think about what if a ghost's hand came out of the toilet and grabbed my nuts or stuck its hand in my ass -___________-.... i mean if it came outa the mirror id have reaction time to run but the toilets.. thats a pretty good blind spot to sneak up on people from -_____- ... | | |
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02-12-2009, 07:47 AM
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#21 | | 無敵
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,319
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Yeah, this is super old and there's answers to most of those. :3
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02-12-2009, 07:56 AM
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#22 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,760
Thanked 689 Times in 376 Posts
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|  nice
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02-12-2009, 09:17 AM
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#23 | | Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 85
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hmmm then why is i can put on mascara with my mouth closed? haha
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02-12-2009, 09:23 AM
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#24 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Burnaby
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This thread is retarded. If you find these things amusing, you pull your thumb out of your asshole.
__________________ Feedback Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason00S2000 Invisible sky daddies commanding people to do shit is just so beyond retarded, I feel like punching myself in the balls until I shit my computer chair. | Quote:
Originally Posted by Chopstick 4 years ago, I pulled up to burger king, and asked to get a teen burger. I realized after the 3rd time i said it, I was in the wrong fucking place.
(>___<) | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sky_High [19-10, 22:51] how many post do I need before I can fail TOS'D posts. | | |
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02-12-2009, 11:32 AM
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#25 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphamale This thread is retarded. If you find these things amusing, you pull your thumb out of your asshole. | and sniff it?
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