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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-07-2009, 02:44 PM   #26
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Yeah but if he's either average or less than, which I can sort of surmise from his post, he would never succeed on a perfect 10 misa campo type of girl no matter how many chances he gets.

Either up your stock in other ways or go home.
You said it. But then, not everyone shoots for a Misa Campo lolol Cute down-to-earth types FTW ahahah
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Clubs are only a good venue for me when I've already met someone and laid the groundwork down and need to push things along. But going to club cold is either a hit or miss.
+1! Well said.

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Old 04-07-2009, 03:10 PM   #27
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Sounds like Physixx is the next Mystery!

Post your kill stories (with pics, fatties don't count, in fact, they should be minus points).
Haha, I make it sound easier than it actually is.
If anything, I'm still a trainee who likes to talk too much haha

I do post my kill stories, just not to the general public

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btw..

op: you didnt' get shut down at all! don't think about it too much. You had the balls to talk to her, major kudos to you! Just approach from the front, slight angle preferrably, smile and say, "Hi". Be confident. You don't really need an opening line, just say hi. If she digs you she'll play along.
This is good advice, OP.
Try to approach from the 10 o'clock to 2 o'clock general direction, WITH the EXCEPTION for 12 o'clock.

You approach people you know well from the 12 o'clock direction. This shouldn't be used on a stranger; you're going to intimidate her because what your body language is saying when you do this is "I'm approaching you".
Also, if you approach from 12 o'clock, more likely than not you yourself will feel uncomfortable. When your body radiates uncomfortableness, she will pick that up and start feeling uncomfortable immediately.

Approach from a slight angle off makes your presence known to her (as opposed to approaching perpendicularly, or worse, from behind). Making your presence known displays signs of confidence. It also makes you seem more friendly because you're not approaching her like a bull towards a matador.

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Yeah but if he's either average or less than, which I can sort of surmise from his post, he would never succeed on a perfect 10 misa campo type of girl no matter how many chances he gets.

Either up your stock in other ways or go home.

Not saying its not doable. I'm sure there are cases of exception, but that's like hitting the lottery.
You kind of just contradicted yourself , but I'm going to give my response anyways:

I disagree.
With practice, anybody can succeed on approaching, and generating a relationship (romantic or not) with a perfect 10.

Maybe this is just me, but I'd like to think that attraction is NOT about chances, it's about opportunities (synonymous, but not the same). That is also to say, attraction is NOT a choice, it's a game of Darwinism. Except, instead of "survival of the fittest", we have "survival of the smoothest"--or "most socially aware". If you can CREATE the opportunity, then you can do it.
How do you create this opportunity? By standing out; by practicing; by being refreshing and original.
The most beautiful girls I know would rather see an average guy (the type that never has the balls to approach her) approach her--because it's refreshing and different; as opposed to a great looking guy just going up to her and macking on her with the knowledge that she'd be attracted to his physical traits.
Will she eventually be attracted to both? Perhaps. But since the average guy does not have the advantage that the great looking guy has, he has to rely on practice.

I don't mean to boast, but it's always more convincing when there's a living example: I'm a living example of such an average guy.
I'm by all means, an average guy, but I've pushed myself to approach the most beautiful women. Sure, I have failed countless many times, and even to the point where I started thinking what you said about the lottery is true.

But it's not.
Interpersonal attraction is defined under social psychology as "the attraction between people which leads to friendships [or] romantic relationships." (Wikipedia)
So attraction is not a game of genetics (chances, as you put it), but a game of social and psychological awareness. Both are things that take practice, and NOT things that you either have or you don't.








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This is why i favour bars > clubs. It's just that difficult to get your personality through. Even with the benefit of music forcing 2 couples to socialize in close proximity, you find yourself having to shout each sentence at each other's ear 2 or 3 teams just to get 1 sentence through. It gets tiresome.

Clubs are only a good venue for me when I've already met someone and laid the groundwork down and need to push things along. But going to club cold is either a hit or miss.
This, I will agree with though.
I generally dislike clubs because walking inside is like walking into a stuffy room of raging levels of testosterone.
Even when I do hit the clubs, I don't drink, and I don't dance.
I'd much rather spend my time on the sides meeting new people.

-Physixx
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Old 04-07-2009, 03:26 PM   #28
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well usually when I approach a girl and we start talking and things are smooth I get laid, BUT there are the unsual times where we have nothing to say, thats when I let a stinker rip, and one of a couple of things can happen
A) she smiles and says "that was cute, let's go back to your place"
B) she looks down on you and rips one louder and stinkier than yours
OR
C) tell her you would have more fun taking a shit than talking to her
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Old 04-07-2009, 03:44 PM   #29
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You kind of just contradicted yourself , but I'm going to give my response anyways:

I disagree.
With practice, anybody can succeed on approaching, and generating a relationship (romantic or not) with a perfect 10.
Still kind of disagree but I see what you're getting at and its only partially true. Practice only guarantees confidence, but does not guarantee success. Confidence is only a variable to success.

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Maybe this is just me, but I'd like to think that attraction is NOT about chances, it's about opportunities (synonymous, but not the same). That is also to say, attraction is NOT a choice, it's a game of Darwinism. Except, instead of "survival of the fittest", we have "survival of the smoothest"--or "most socially aware". If you can CREATE the opportunity, then you can do it.
How do you create this opportunity? By standing out; by practicing; by being refreshing and original.
Again you're right. But only partially. Success is a combination of winning on the openning and closing. Survival of the Smoothest only gets you a good openning game but a player needs a complete game from beginning to closing.

And that's where upping your stock comes in. Fixes a lot of things, from your openning game, to your closing, as well as confidence.

Practicing to me seems only necessary for those who need to pretend they're stock is up. Guys who need a sales pitch to sell themselves. My philosphy is: Practicing is only necessary for a facade but a person who need not a facade need not practice. It's just remaining true to oneself.

That's why you see guys who are the biggest perverts with girls who enjoy it; guys who are complete jerks but have women wrapped around their finger. There's no technique, no mantra that girls like assholes. It's simply because they have a high stock, which can range from being rich, or being goodlooking, or being an incredible athlete, or an amazing personality, being ultra funny, or a big penis.... Take your pick.


edit:

Just wanted to add the smiley so the tone of my post isn't misunderstood.

Last edited by Noir; 04-07-2009 at 03:55 PM.
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Old 04-07-2009, 04:23 PM   #30
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well usually when I approach a girl and we start talking and things are smooth I get laid, BUT there are the unsual times where we have nothing to say, thats when I let a stinker rip, and one of a couple of things can happen
A) she smiles and says "that was cute, let's go back to your place"
B) she looks down on you and rips one louder and stinkier than yours
OR
C) tell her you would have more fun taking a shit than talking to her
w...tf. ahahah

Noir: Amazing personality, bring ultra-funny, big penis, or ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Physixx/Noir: IMHO social psychology is always there, always workable to one's advantage. Awareness of it can't always be taught, but it can be refined. Some people already have "the stock" and the potential to tap into that. Some never had it and never will. Simple as that, methinks.
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Old 04-07-2009, 04:35 PM   #31
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This is why i favour bars > clubs. It's just that difficult to get your personality through. Even with the benefit of music forcing 2 couples to socialize in close proximity, you find yourself having to shout each sentence at each other's ear 2 or 3 teams just to get 1 sentence through. It gets tiresome.

Clubs are only a good venue for me when I've already met someone and laid the groundwork down and need to push things along. But going to club cold is either a hit or miss.
for me its the opposite. if i know someone before hand id rather go to the pub and actually be able to talk to them. at the club, meeting randoms is just half the fun. that said, ive been clubbing in kamloops for a long time. it'll def be different when i head back to the coast. and by different, i mean much more stuck up.
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Old 04-07-2009, 05:23 PM   #32
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btw.. you guys need to address which demographic you're targeting.
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Old 04-07-2009, 05:35 PM   #33
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btw.. you guys need to address which demographic you're targeting.
Wut.
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for me its the opposite. if i know someone before hand id rather go to the pub and actually be able to talk to them. at the club, meeting randoms is just half the fun. that said, ive been clubbing in kamloops for a long time. it'll def be different when i head back to the coast. and by different, i mean much more stuck up.
I would think the scene there would be quite different. I should add that to my list of things to do, clubbing in Kamloops.
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:06 PM   #34
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Still kind of disagree but I see what you're getting at and its only partially true. Practice only guarantees confidence, but does not guarantee success. Confidence is only a variable to success.



Again you're right. But only partially. Success is a combination of winning on the openning and closing. Survival of the Smoothest only gets you a good openning game but a player needs a complete game from beginning to closing.

And that's where upping your stock comes in. Fixes a lot of things, from your openning game, to your closing, as well as confidence.

Practicing to me seems only necessary for those who need to pretend they're stock is up. Guys who need a sales pitch to sell themselves. My philosphy is: Practicing is only necessary for a facade but a person who need not a facade need not practice. It's just remaining true to oneself.

That's why you see guys who are the biggest perverts with girls who enjoy it; guys who are complete jerks but have women wrapped around their finger. There's no technique, no mantra that girls like assholes. It's simply because they have a high stock, which can range from being rich, or being goodlooking, or being an incredible athlete, or an amazing personality, being ultra funny, or a big penis.... Take your pick.


edit:

Just wanted to add the smiley so the tone of my post isn't misunderstood.
Ah okay now I understand what you meant by "stock".
Yeah it's true. In the modern society, being socially aware will only get you so far (which is VERY far, but not all the way).
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:48 PM   #35
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Wut.
Approaching a white chick is different from an asian chick.. I find. White girls are so much more chill.
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Old 04-07-2009, 08:59 PM   #36
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Approaching a white chick is different from an asian chick.. I find. White girls are so much more chill.
that's so true. asian girls give you the "wtf. do i know you?"
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:23 PM   #37
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Wut.


I would think the scene there would be quite different. I should add that to my list of things to do, clubbing in Kamloops.
i have no game and its like fish in a barrell. not so much cause of where it is but more cause its such a university town. but also cause most guys there are broke or hicks so if you have any kind of class or even know how to present your self and use a gym you are golden.
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:43 PM   #38
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that's so true. asian girls give you the "wtf. do i know you?"
followed by her buddyv"tough guy tuesday" glaring at you.
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Old 04-08-2009, 01:14 PM   #39
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that's so true. asian girls give you the "wtf. do i know you?"
lol QFT

but you just gotta have a good icebreaker or something to open them up, if they keep acting stuck up then one up her in the game

i usually will ask what her ethnicity is, ill reply with another ethnicity and give a disappointed face and say "sorry sweetie, i dont do interracial"
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Old 04-08-2009, 08:40 PM   #40
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First mistake, you put her up on a pedestal at first glance, causing you to second guess yourself, when you do that you lose confidence, and she can smell it from a mile a way (besides your unwashed feet).
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Old 04-08-2009, 08:44 PM   #41
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I keep saying on this part of the forum that people over-analyze things way too much.

Do you want to know what you did wrong? You didn't approach her the moment you wanted to. Instead, you waited it out and thought of a game plan.
Now logically speaking, there's nothing wrong with that; but what you're actually doing as you're thinking of the game plan is you're plundering your own confidence and initial reason for approach. The more you analyze how to approach on the spot, the more likely it is that you're going to get cold feet. The underlining message in this is that, the more you analyze, the more you're fucking with yourself psychologically. My advice to you is, if you're going to make an approach, make a fucking approach; don't wait and see if she will notice you and approach you on her own; don't wait to look for the 'best' time to approach; don't wait for anything. You'll have plenty of time to analyze the approach after you get her number, or better yet, after she blows you off. Because that way you KNOW you're doing something wrong. So rather than wonder "what am I going to do wrong?" go out there and find out for yourself.

You're right. "Hi" is the golden opener in establishing any sort of a relationship. But that's ONLY given that you're READY to use it. If your voice shakes when you say 'hi', then you're going to come across as a wimp RIGHT away.
If you say it too quietly, she won't notice that you're talking to her and (coupled with the fact that she knows you're within her comfort zone), she'll start to think you're hovering over her; and ultimately get uncomfortable.
If you have to say 'hi' twice to get her to notice you, you're already coming across as needy and wanting her attention. Remember, you should be the one holding the ball of yarn, and not her.
If you say it too loudly and boldly, she'll think you're arrogant and self-centered. When they think that, it's never a good thing.
There are a million things to look for when interacting--because remember, a hefty chunk of human interactions is non-verbal. Your tone, your gesture, your posture, your body language, etc. are all things she looks for subconsciously. You could give a guy the greatest opener in the world and he won't be able to pick up a single girl unless he whips up his confidence first.

If you're going to approach a girl, approach her with confidence. Make her get the "I'M ON TOP OF THE FUCKING WORLD! LOVE ME!" vibe from you. Don't get this mixed up with arrogance and being self-centered; because confidence to arrogance is analogous to driving a Supra compared to driving a riced out Civic. They both look fast; but anybody who understands cars will know that only one is the real deal.
Women find confidence attractive; and you don't need to ponder at the night sky as to why, because I have done that for you:

"Confidence" in its own essence is a very poetic trait. It's like hearing somebody mention 'courage' and 'honor' in a film starring Bruce Willis.
It's a trait a girl would go, "My type of guy is a guy who's confident, comfortable with himself and his surroundings, etc. etc." when you ask her what type of guys she finds attractive. Even if she doesn't say that, she's thinking it.
But honestly, how many people actually UNDERSTAND the integrity of courage and honor? They're just positive words that have been beautified; just like the word 'confidence'.
Which is why, when a man can exuberate confidence, he completes her image of her Casanova. Subconsciously, she will become attracted to him.

On a last note, OP, when you have a freeze out as to what to say (and everybody gets this, even the most confident guys), a good thing to do is to throw in a story. Simply ask her, "Since we're already talking, let me ask you a quick question...*insert story*...."; or "I had this really funny thing happen to me last week, and I've been dying to tell somebody about it. Since we're already talking anyways, I'll tell you....*insert story*..."
She won't be bugged by this. In fact, if anything, she'll be relieved that you can end the awkward silence.
Why a story as opposed to anything else? A story firstly demonstrates that (like you said), your approach was a friendly one; secondly you get her to open up and give you her opinion; and thirdly (if your story is genuine or you're congruent with it), you could think of other things to say while you're telling the story.
A story also demonstrates that you're refreshing and original--that you can talk about more things than just Warcraft and Counterstrike. Originality is a good trait.






Having said all that, I know this doesn't have ANYTHING to do with this thread, but I'd like to share that I also approached a perfect HB10 yesterday. And I got her number.

-Physixx

Hitch?
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I went to Saskatchewan once. 30min is all I need to know that I don't want to go back there.
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Old 04-08-2009, 08:53 PM   #42
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Hitch?
hahaha
Hitch was a great movie.

A lot of stuff from that movie was scripted,
meaning not everything is relevant to actually making an approach.
example: his first pickup on the girl surrounded by guys; his opener will NOT work surefire for the average guy/ on any hot girl.

Having said that though,
some parts of the movie were scripted very well, so there ARE certain valuable things to take home from some parts of the movie in regards to approaching.
example: his pickup on Eva Mendes, although scripted as a part of a movie, showed MANY aspects of a good approach.

-Physixx
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Old 04-08-2009, 08:54 PM   #43
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I went to Saskatchewan once. 30min is all I need to know that I don't want to go back there.
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:59 PM   #44
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[QUOTE=Physixx;6367001]*shrugs* because it works?


ya it works that is what i meant, he is good at that
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Old 04-09-2009, 12:19 PM   #45
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Read, "The Game" by N. Strauss..don't follow it blindly as I found most of his tips and tricks were on the nerdy side, but still a good and funny read. (Btw, his guide is mainly geared toward White chicks or westernized girls).

You can download it on mininova in PDF!
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Old 04-09-2009, 12:22 PM   #46
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^^ and mystery method
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Old 04-09-2009, 03:22 PM   #47
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Read, "The Game" by N. Strauss..don't follow it blindly as I found most of his tips and tricks were on the nerdy side, but still a good and funny read. (Btw, his guide is mainly geared toward White chicks or westernized girls).

You can download it on mininova in PDF!
The Game is extremely insightful,
and it could almost be seen as the subordinate, beginner's guide to getting laid. He offers so many different methods (not just the Mystery Method) in brief, as well as many theories and perspectives on social interactions.
There are other good books amongst The Game that could be read, but The Game is definitely a great place to start. I like to think of it as the path to take to the fork in the road; and when you finally get there, you can choose which road you want to take (i.e. the perspective on social interactions that works for you).

Oh, and I might also add that,
unlike most DIY books, this one's pretty humorous, and definitely an enjoyable read.

-Physixx
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Old 04-09-2009, 05:33 PM   #48
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Those "PUA" books are good and all. The main thing I got out of reading them is just be more confident. You dont really need those lines and whatnot. I've pulled girls whatout any lines/routines or whatever they tell you in those books.

It's still an interesting read. More so on the social dynamics and interactions.
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Old 04-09-2009, 06:19 PM   #49
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(besides your unwashed feet).
Low blow dude. The feet are squeeky clean now
But who knows, its not like I couldn't take a girl for a his/her pedicure if the feet take a turn for the worse
Let's be real Aetios, if you saw this chick you'd be shitting bricks too dawg. If anyone could give an Angel a run for its money it was her. Don't fault me because I manned up but you can laugh at me for getting what amounted as the cold shoulder. Whatever, at least I tried instead of being a pussy.

PS. Since you seem to be so infatuated with my feet why don't I take a closeup picture of them for you
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Old 04-09-2009, 10:56 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by BlackV62K2 View Post
Those "PUA" books are good and all. The main thing I got out of reading them is just be more confident. You dont really need those lines and whatnot. I've pulled girls whatout any lines/routines or whatever they tell you in those books.

It's still an interesting read. More so on the social dynamics and interactions.
What I'm about to say is about 10% on topic. The other 90% is just way out there.

But books can only take you so far.
the rest, is taking the initiative and actually doing somebody about being a 30 year old virgin.

When I tell people that I read books to better myself and my social life, including Strauss's pickup books and Derren Brown's books on neuro-linguistics, I get ridiculed and mocked. They ridicule me because they think social interactions should be kept SOCIAL, and not turn something somebody could read on in the comfort of my room. They called me a social-wannabe; but I preferred the term social-nerd; it has a much better ring to it.

But what they never saw was that, I read these books THEN I applied them in social settings. Sure, it sounds nerdy, but to me, it sure beats going to a social setting empty-handed. So while they laugh at me and use the term "PUA" loosely, I'm the one out there having fun and screwing the girls they want to screw, and they're still at home beating their monkeys to a pulp and hung over their ex-girlfriends.

Many people read ten pages of these self-improv. books--twenty or thirty at most, and they think it's stupid. They'd think 'Why would anybody in their right mind learn about social interactions in roundabout ways anyways?'
Then, for some reason, they might go back and read a couple more pages, and they start seeing the light.

Then it's where it starts to branch off; you get one of three types of people who continue reading after the second step:
a) People who find social dynamics intriguing but never does anything to better themselves and never applies these things to their own lives.
b) People who find social dynamics intriguing and actually does something about it (me).
c) People who go back to thinking READING about social INTERACTIONS is stupid, and whoever reads about it is stupid as well. They ridicule a and b; when really, they're the ones that are worst off.

-Physixx
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