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06-15-2009, 12:56 AM
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#1 | | Official Texas Ambassador
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10,333
Thanked 5,671 Times in 1,324 Posts
Failed 416 Times in 132 Posts
| Emails from an asshole
Quote:
Camry Killer
Posted at: 2009-06-09 18:52:47
Original ad:
selling 1997 toyota camry. 146k miles. engine and transmission in good shape. was in minor fender bender, damage shown in pictures
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hello,
Let me just introduce myself. My name is Mike, and two weeks ago my dog was hit and killed by a car in Manayunk. The driver did not stop. He was hit by a white '97 Toyota Camry. With the side of the bumper bashed in like in your pictures. I thought I would never find the killer, but then I saw the murderers car for sale in Manayunk on **********! YOURS. What, are you trying to get rid of the evidence? You killed my dog of 8 years, and didn't even stop. I had to tell my kids that they would never see him again. Now they just look dead inside, like their soul was taken from them. I can't blame them.
We can't bring Skip back to life, but I want you to come here and apologize to my kids. And buy them a new dog. It is the least you could do.
E-mail me back and we'll set up a time.
- Mike
From derek ******* to Me
what? i didnt hit your fucking dog. no way im buying you a new dog
From Mike Anderson to derek *******
There's no denying it. I've got you dead to rights. The car that hit my dog is unmistakably yours. I even remember seeing your Outer Banks bumper sticker as I watched the car drive away, leaving Skip in a mangled mess in the middle of the street.
Maybe you were drunk and didn't remember? That doesn't make you any less guilty.
From derek ******* to Me
are you fucking serious i didnt hit your dog!!! i even called my girlfriend and she had no idea what i was talking about. you are mistaken
From Mike Anderson to derek *******
No I am not. Does your girlfriend have long hair? I didn't get a good look at the killer's face, but I saw long hair from behind as they sped away. I just assumed it was a man because of their huge shoulders.
From derek ******* to Me
yes she has long hair but she didnt hit your dog. where did this happen?
From Mike Anderson to derek *******
You know where it happened. Right here in Manayunk. I think your girlfriend is lying to you. I would like to meet both of you and have a good chat with you two so I can figure out which one of you is lying.
From derek ******* to Me
no this is ridiculous neither of us hit your dog. im sorry it happened but this is not my fault
From Mike Anderson to derek *******
Why would you be sorry if you didn't do it? Seems like you feel guilty about murdering my dog. Just own up to it. Do the right thing. For my kids.
| Quote:
Stupid Dog Sweater Lady
Posted at: 2009-06-09 18:38:14
Original ad:
I am looking for inexpensive dog apparel (T shirts, sweaters, etc.). My dog is a Minature Pinscher. He is a boy and he is around 12 lbs. Maybe you bought some clothes for you pet and they have grown out of them. Also, if you know of any places or websites that offer cheap dog clothing. Either one, please let me know! I really do not want to pay $20 for dog accessories! Thank you!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hi,
I saw that you are looking for clothing for your dog, so I think it is a fair assumption that you are the type of person who likes to buy stupid shit. In that case, I just broke up with my girlfriend, and she has a ton of crap like that that I want to get rid of. I have a "no place like home" welcome mat, a valentine bear that talks when you squeeze it, the first season of Gilmore Girls on DVD, and one of those singing fish things. Let me know if you want any of this shit.
Thanks,
Mike
From Katie ******** to Me
Your assumption is incorrect. I do not like to buy stupid shit. I just like to pamper my dog as I do not have any kids. Thanks, but I am not interested in any of those items.
From Mike Anderson to Katie *******
In that case, I have a 32" Sony LCD TV for your dog. You can put on the Animal Channel for him. I'll sell it to you for $400.
- Mike
| http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php
I think I've found my soulmate
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|  | | This post thanked by: | B-DiZzLe, choda, CP.AR, elwell, Gilgamesh, Gumby, jas_daddy, Kim Jong Un, MikeyStyle, Onassis, StealthFighter, StylinRed, The_AK, woob | |
06-15-2009, 01:04 AM
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#2 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
Thanked 542 Times in 289 Posts
Failed 1,639 Times in 418 Posts
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lol... those ppl are such losers
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06-15-2009, 06:18 AM
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#3 | | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: vancouver
Posts: 664
Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts
Failed 4 Times in 3 Posts
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these e-mail are awesome!
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06-15-2009, 07:20 AM
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#4 | | F**K YOUR HEAD
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: vancouver
Posts: 8,719
Thanked 8,153 Times in 1,251 Posts
Failed 643 Times in 181 Posts
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LOL i bet he just saw the ad and pieced it together.
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06-15-2009, 07:56 AM
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#5 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,760
Thanked 689 Times in 376 Posts
Failed 61 Times in 38 Posts
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ahahahahah
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06-15-2009, 06:26 PM
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#6 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,189
Thanked 1,699 Times in 446 Posts
Failed 148 Times in 52 Posts
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06-15-2009, 06:35 PM
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#7 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,349
Thanked 56 Times in 32 Posts
Failed 49 Times in 16 Posts
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OMFG this is halarious
Fat Bitch Won't Ride the Bus Quote:
Original ad:
im looking for ride from the philadelphia area to pittsburgh next friday. i will split the cost of gas with you. I am female, and would prefer to ride with another female or young(21-ish) person.
From Mike Anderson to ************@*********.org
Hey! I am going to Pittsburgh and can give you a ride. Can you meet me at 30th St. Station 11 AM on Friday? By the way, I'm 21, so you don't have to worry about riding with some old creeper.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
hey mike! that sounds good. how much do you want for gas? let me get your number so we can work out the details
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Melanie,
I was thinking around $70 should cover it. Unfortunately I do not have a cell phone because I accidentally forgot to take my pants off when I was taking a bath last night and forgot my cell phone was in the pocket. It won't turn on! Could you just stand outside of the west entrance with a sign that says "I'm Melanie" ? I'll look for you.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
wow i wasnt expecting to pay $70! why so much? i was thinking more around 30-35 bucks! also im not standing out there with a sign lol.
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Melanie, I'm sorry but the price is not negotiable. Unfortunately the cheapest bus ticket is $70. Do you want to just meet me on the bus if you don't want to stand out there with a sign?
From Melanie ******** to Me
what?! i didnt want to ride a bus! i thought you were driving a car to pittsburgh. wtf dude
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Well shit Melanie, I didn't think you would be so picky about what kind of vehicle you wanted to ride in. If price is an issue, I can sneak you on the bus. I've done it before with my son. I have a duffel bag that is pretty big, and you can just hide inside it and not move and they will load you under the bus. I'll make sure that they put you on top of all the other luggage so you aren't crushed. You can have my video ipod to stay entertained during the bus ride. It has the first season of Deadwood on it. You aren't fat, are you? I don't want the bag to rip from underneath when they lift it up.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
are you fucking with me? this has to be a joke. there is no fucking way im doing that
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Oh, you aren't a Deadwood fan? I think I have the Ben Affleck hit "Gigli" on my iPod if you wanted to watch that instead.
From Melanie ******** to Me
NO! IM NOT SNEAKING ON TO THE FUCKING BUS IN A GODDAMN SUITCASE
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Okay, I didn't realize you were so sensitive about your weight. If you can't fit in the duffel bag that's fine. I just went and ordered you the bus ticket. It is pretty much first-come first-serve for seating on the bus. You can sit next to me if you want, but I want the window seat. I also have to get up a lot to pee so you will have to get up so I can squeeze out.
From Melanie ******** to Me
IM NOT RIDING THE BUS! I'LL FIND ANOTHER RIDE
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Well you owe me $70 for the ticket! I can't return it!
From Melanie ******** to Me
I NEVER SAID TO BUY IT! THAT IS YOUR FAULT DUDE GOODBYE
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__________________
If you don't like me you can blow me. | |
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06-15-2009, 06:40 PM
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#8 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 5,541
Thanked 1,109 Times in 299 Posts
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^LMAO
HAHAHAHAHA WTF!!
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06-15-2009, 06:47 PM
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#9 | | My dinner reheated before my turbo spooled
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 5,944
Thanked 13,521 Times in 1,745 Posts
Failed 2,239 Times in 545 Posts
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The guy Mike in the 1st e-mail so fucking annoying, if it was real.
__________________ PHOTOGRAPHY / FLICKR
Last edited by 1exotic; 06-15-2009 at 06:54 PM.
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06-15-2009, 06:49 PM
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#10 | | Need my Daily Fix of RS
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Behind you
Posts: 293
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Failed 13 Times in 2 Posts
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awesome site! the next FML hahaha
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fack you betch | |
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06-15-2009, 06:54 PM
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#11 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 677
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
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^ +1
and HAHAHAHH
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06-15-2009, 06:58 PM
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#12 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 469
Thanked 245 Times in 52 Posts
Failed 121 Times in 27 Posts
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Air Hockey Sex Table
Posted at: 2009-06-09 01:56:51
This guy is the shit.
Original ad:
From Timmy Tucker to **********@***********.org
RE: Air Hockey Table
Hello,
I saw your ad for an air hockey table and had a question about it. My girlfriend tells me has always wanted to have sex on an air hockey table. Before I shell out $150 for this, I just wanted to know if sex on an air hockey table is practical and/or really even worth it. I told her if she wanted air blowing on her we could just lay on a window fan, but she is insisting that I get an air hockey table. What do you think?
Tim
From ***********@yahoo.com to Me
Dont think it is as sturdy as my pool table but you two can c0ome try it out and let me know
From Timmy Tucker to **********@yahoo.com
Great. I'll let my girlfriend know. Will we have privacy, or are you going to be there to make sure we don't break it?
From ***********@yahoo.com to Me
I will be there for support and help but very private  | |
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06-15-2009, 07:45 PM
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#13 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Surrey
Posts: 849
Thanked 24 Times in 13 Posts
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
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lol, that is way to much awesome. hahahahaha.
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06-15-2009, 08:00 PM
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#14 | | I only answer to my username, my real name is Irrelevant!
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: CELICAland
Posts: 25,679
Thanked 10,395 Times in 3,918 Posts
Failed 1,390 Times in 625 Posts
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ahahaha oh shit, great site made my day 
im starting to think whichever mod who wrote that tag under my name is right :/
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06-15-2009, 08:29 PM
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#15 | | My dinner reheated before my turbo spooled
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,758
Thanked 403 Times in 130 Posts
Failed 36 Times in 21 Posts
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jesus that site is GOLD
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06-15-2009, 08:37 PM
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#16 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
Posts: 13,688
Thanked 977 Times in 477 Posts
Failed 18 Times in 11 Posts
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NICE! Another way for me to kill time at work!
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
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06-15-2009, 08:42 PM
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#17 | | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: North Van
Posts: 1,323
Thanked 75 Times in 26 Posts
Failed 1 Time in 1 Post
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Well I just read every single one of those when I was supposed to wash my car.
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06-15-2009, 08:52 PM
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#18 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: May 2006 Location: PoCo
Posts: 2,062
Thanked 551 Times in 141 Posts
Failed 84 Times in 48 Posts
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hahahha great site! the shaniqua wanting an explorer were the best, especially the jurassic park one!
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06-15-2009, 08:53 PM
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#19 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Delta
Posts: 15,911
Thanked 765 Times in 228 Posts
Failed 354 Times in 58 Posts
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
There are some good sites late..
texts from last night
fuck my life
etc
__________________
The harder I lift and the more I eat, the better my genetics seem to get.
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06-15-2009, 09:06 PM
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#20 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Delta
Posts: 15,911
Thanked 765 Times in 228 Posts
Failed 354 Times in 58 Posts
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Kittens for my Tiger
Posted at: 2009-06-09 02:00:01
Original ad:
litter of 6 kittens up for adoption! they are all 3 weeks old and are looking for a good home. contact if interested.
From Mike Hunt to *********@***********.org
Hi,
I am interested in taking all six kittens off of your hands. How much do you want for them?
Mike
From Shannon ******* to Me
Mike,
Are you going to take care of all of these kittens? I want to make sure they all find a good home, and was expecting to sell them one at a time. Are you able to house all six of them?
From Mike Hunt to Shannon *******
Shannon,
To be honest, I own a pet Bengal Tiger and he is on a strict diet of cats. I usually feed him one cat every couple of days, so this litter should hold him over for a while. Don't worry though, I'll take good care of the kittens until I feed them to him.
Mike
From Shannon ******* to Me
That is horrible! You will not get a single kitten from me. I really hope you are not serious.
From Mike Hunt to Shannon *******
Shannon,
I was kidding. I seriously need all six kittens though. Disregard anything I said about a tiger.
From Shannon ******* to Me
NO.
__________________
The harder I lift and the more I eat, the better my genetics seem to get.
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06-15-2009, 11:50 PM
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#21 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,349
Thanked 56 Times in 32 Posts
Failed 49 Times in 16 Posts
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I just read all of it, I NEEEEEED MORRRRRRE!!!!
__________________
If you don't like me you can blow me. | |
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06-16-2009, 02:17 AM
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#22 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,115
Thanked 124 Times in 36 Posts
Failed 93 Times in 22 Posts
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I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING AT THE BUS ONE !!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHA
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06-16-2009, 02:26 AM
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#23 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Richmond
Posts: 4,658
Thanked 171 Times in 62 Posts
Failed 208 Times in 40 Posts
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Wow...some people just have nothing to do..
__________________
Need anything wrapped in vinyl? Need some custom stickers made for advertising purposes or just for fun? Or you need some Honda accessories?? Message me!!
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06-16-2009, 07:19 AM
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#24 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,760
Thanked 689 Times in 376 Posts
Failed 61 Times in 38 Posts
|  funny shit
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06-16-2009, 07:49 AM
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#25 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,308
Thanked 825 Times in 341 Posts
Failed 203 Times in 77 Posts
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rofl this is awesome...
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