REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum


Welcome to the REVscene Automotive Forum forums.

Registration is Free!You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Vancouver LifeStyles (VLS) > Relationship & Gender Discussion

Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-27-2009, 12:59 AM   #1
HELP ME PLS!!!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 5,544
Thanked 652 Times in 346 Posts
Hanging out with a married woman

My best female friend and I has gotten into an argument recently, except this time around it seems alot more serious cause her husband is now involved. She accuses me of being the culprit because I "constantly" call her to hangout and go out for dinner all the time. The fact is, we usually hangout about twice per month for dinner, with all being on weeknights cause she needs to spend time with her hubby on the weekend.

Anyway, I'll try to lay it out for you, I've known her for more than 14 years dating back to Elementary. About 8 years ago, she began dating this guy, the problem with this fellow is that he doesn't like it when she hangs out with guys, so she's kept me away from him as long as I can remember. There were times when he's been suspicious that she's chilling with me, but she would lie to him everytime when we're chillin, but he is aware that I am her longtime elementary classmate, but isn't aware that we hangout often together.

Fast forward to present, couple of days ago, i sms'd her and ask if she wanted to grab some dinner that night, unfortunately, her now husband had her phone that day and I wasn't aware of it. Later on that day when she got home, they got into an argument over a text message that i sent in which it read.. "wanna grab dinner tonight?"

now she's really pissed at me, and accusing me of being the culprit and not knowing the boundaries of hanging out with a married woman. I'm pretty frustrated with this shit, cause i've known her for a long time, and that i don't want to lose her as a friend, but i hate that bastard's guts. What should I do? am I really at fault here?

willystyle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 01:04 AM   #2
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,439
Thanked 71 Times in 20 Posts
No you're not at fault.. who said married women can't have male friends (and vice versa)?
She shouldn't lie.. perhaps he's all paranoid because he caught her in a lie once (said she was going out with girlfriends and then found out she was with someone else)
Maybe he feels insecure about you and other guys because he doesn't know you well? Maybe the three of you could hang out and he could see that there's nothing going on between you and his wife. Try inviting the both of them to dinner.
That being said, they both sound really immature.
Delish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 01:09 AM   #3
Banned By Establishment
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,171
Thanked 398 Times in 71 Posts
Not to be harsh or anything but get a life and hang out with someone else.
WHEYsted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 01:14 AM   #4
HELP ME PLS!!!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 5,544
Thanked 652 Times in 346 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonamehustla View Post
Not to be harsh or anything but get a life and hang out with someone else.
How does hanging out with a married woman equates to not having a life?

Go fuck yourself.
willystyle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 02:03 AM   #5
Banned By Establishment
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,171
Thanked 398 Times in 71 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by willystyle View Post
How does hanging out with a married woman equates to not having a life?

Go fuck yourself.
No sorry I believe that term "go fuck yourself" applies to you for hanging out with a woman that is married to another man and not yourself therefore forcing you to "fuck yourself" daily. Don't get angry because you can't get ass.
WHEYsted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 02:52 AM   #6
I subscribe to the Revscene NWS thread(s)
 
ZhangFei's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Middle Kingdom
Posts: 1,915
Thanked 137 Times in 63 Posts
you make it sound as if she just went berserk all a sudden.

what's the protocol usually like when setting up a time and place to hang out?

do you usually sms her about it? or was the sms totally different than how you guys plan usually?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by boss_clad View Post
why you hating on the boss, anyways?
ZhangFei is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 06:08 AM   #7
What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vac
Posts: 179
Thanked 70 Times in 24 Posts
Don't really think it's his fault if hubby is insecure.
eclipseman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 07:16 AM   #8
14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: vancouver
Posts: 669
Thanked 17 Times in 12 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipseman View Post
Don't really think it's his fault if hubby is insecure.

As a husband who sees that message on my wife's phone. Trust me I will be questioning her.
__________________
<div id="zunecard_big" class="zunecard"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://social.zune.net//xweb/lx/swf/zunecard.swf?ver=1192" style="" id="flashUserCard" name="flashUserCard" bgcolor="#FFF" wmode="opaque" salign="tl" flashvars="baseURL=http%3a%2f%2fsocial.zune.net%2f zcard%2fusercardservice.ashx%3fzunetag%3dbedheadfr 3d%26src%3dlarge&MMplayerType=PlugIn" height="260" width="548"></div>
Neoxphuse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 08:21 AM   #9
NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Calgary
Posts: 16
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I think that's the way it is. One can still hang out on occasions but it wouldn't be the same as before. A female friend told me once married both partners don't spend too much time with their friends of opposite genders. May be you can do group stuff? Not sure if you and a female friend can hang out with this lady and her husband?

I have many female friends that used to be close but after their marriages we don't really communicate much.
bigbadboss101 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 08:24 AM   #10
Banned (ABWS)
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Surrey
Posts: 850
Thanked 24 Times in 13 Posts
The wife clearly hasn't been totally open with her hubby about you man. It's not your fault.. It also doesn't help that her hubby is insecure, you guys have been friends for a very very long time, there's nothing wrong with 2 old friends going out for dinner with each other.
03aspec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 10:30 AM   #11
Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Kelowna
Posts: 1,301
Thanked 66 Times in 21 Posts
Yeah it's not your fault. She's a weak girl who can't stand up to her husband, he's probably controlling and overbearing... just cut your losses right now before it gets any worse, because it will and she's going to take his side everytime.
__________________
Wut.
Jassanova is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 11:51 AM   #12
Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
 
BallPeenHammer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vancouver
Posts: 888
Thanked 9 Times in 6 Posts
I think she's just freaking out at you 'cuz she's angry and you're the closest/most convenient target.

That's the negatives with being the close/best friend.

Leave her alone for a month, then talk to her again.

Her husband's a douche, from the sounds of it. He knows of you obviously, and given that they started dating EIGHT years ago, there's no way he wouldn't know who you are and that you're just a friend to her.

You should talk to your friend too regarding this situation because if this keeps going on, it can potentially end the marriage altogether.

It's not really your fault, but take the initiative and talk it out. Be the man. Man.
__________________
FS: 2 10" INFINITY SUBS IN BOX W/ PHOENIX GOLD XENON 1200.1 AMP, 1.5 FARAD CAPACITOR - 9/10

FS: CAVI/SUNFIRE ECOTEC 2.2L OEM ENGINE PARTS
(CAMS, HEAD, VALVE COVER, BLOCK, AIR BOX, ETC ETC)

FS: OEM CAVALIER/SUNFIRE SEATS - 9/10.[/SIZE]
BallPeenHammer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 01:37 PM   #13
Rs has made me the man i am today!
 
stewie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: burnaby
Posts: 3,091
Thanked 1,888 Times in 487 Posts
i say just move on man, yeah its sucks to lose a friend that way, but if your going to be causing problems with her marriage - starting fights between them, arguing....its best to just leave them be...

would you like it if your wife was lieing to you going out for dinner with guys behind you back? didnt think so....
stewie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 01:50 PM   #14
Banned (ABWS)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,936
Thanked 233 Times in 129 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonamehustla View Post
Not to be harsh or anything but get a life and hang out with someone else.
you're a dumbass, stfu

this husband and your friend are insecure morons too, childhood friend is just as important as a spouse imo

your friend should value the friendship, there is absolutely no harm when hanging out with a long time friend, they just dont know how to keep a relationship strong, weak couple, i give them 6 more months
liu13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 03:25 PM   #15
i like gifs
 
Ch28's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: imgur
Posts: 26,105
Thanked 6,737 Times in 2,290 Posts
Your friend is a moron. Her husband is an insecure asshole.

"I don't want you spending time with other men"

This isn't 1760 anymore.
Ch28 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 04:38 PM   #16
I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
 
racerman88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: 604
Posts: 3,702
Thanked 340 Times in 208 Posts
someone sounds insecure about their relationship. If you do not trust your significant other then maybe they should not have gotten married
__________________
Fuelled by rice

FS www.list4all.com/racerboy88
racerman88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 04:47 PM   #17
Banned By Establishment
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,171
Thanked 398 Times in 71 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by liu13 View Post
you're a dumbass, stfu

this husband and your friend are insecure morons too, childhood friend is just as important as a spouse imo

your friend should value the friendship, there is absolutely no harm when hanging out with a long time friend, they just dont know how to keep a relationship strong, weak couple, i give them 6 more months
I think we all agreed in previous posts that you are indeed the dumbest person on revscene. All I said was that everybody has to move on and grow up, I guess your not there yet.
WHEYsted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 04:52 PM   #18
Banned (ABWS)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,936
Thanked 233 Times in 129 Posts
my what is not where?

you probably never had a close friend or already numb to being sold out
liu13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 06:08 PM   #19
Hypa owned my ass at least once
 
Noir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Japan
Posts: 6,747
Thanked 1,314 Times in 540 Posts
uhhhh no. Even w/o marriage, I'm not letting my chick have 1 on 1 dinners with a dude on a regular basis. Long time friend or not.

It's not a matter of insecurity. It's a matter of exclusivity. Boundaries shouldn't just be limited to sexual intercourse.

Last edited by Noir; 06-27-2009 at 06:57 PM.
Noir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 06:46 PM   #20
Need my Daily Fix of RS
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 288
Thanked 44 Times in 13 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonamehustla View Post
I think we all agreed in previous posts that you are indeed the dumbest person on revscene. All I said was that everybody has to move on and grow up, I guess your not there yet.
No, YOU'RE the dumbass that thinks that once a long time female friend gets a boyfriend, you're magically never supposed to talk to her again.

HEllo... LONG TIME FEMALE FRIEND... FRIEND HERE... Do you have NO idea what friendship is?? Are you from some backwards place like Iran where you treat woman as objects?? Not friends??

But anyways. I'd just leave her alone and let your friend and her husband sort it all out

Last edited by iceburner; 06-27-2009 at 08:13 PM.
iceburner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 07:36 PM   #21
reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
 
Mr.HappySilp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 9,547
Thanked 1,665 Times in 847 Posts
wait a month and till everything dies then. Go to see her and stick it in the ass. Don't forgot to take pics and video and send it to her hubby.

Jokiing about the 2nd part. Just leave her alone for a month and stay ur distance away from her.
Mr.HappySilp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 08:16 PM   #22
VLS Head Mod
 
saucywoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: E Van
Posts: 7,996
Thanked 896 Times in 392 Posts
please keep arguing out of this thread
__________________
Quote:
Originally posted by ThE ReMiX
---------------------
REMEMBER:-->RS is a place for car enthusiasts to come and get together because of their intrest and love for cars. Hating is not an option-take your immaturity elsewhere!


----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---profile If
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\-///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who has died
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\-----Or whom maybe suffering from it
saucywoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 08:32 PM   #23
14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
 
Gtrr33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 655
Thanked 469 Times in 109 Posts
What I have notice is when a woman gets a boyfriend/hubby they are off limits. I have experience first hand many times.

My experience
You as a friend should know your limits; you can’t call her at 2am in the morning just in case she is at the dudes house bonin' (that would defiantly kill his wood). call/txt her once and wait for her to reply, don’t call her like your some crazy ex, even though you guys are used to bugging each other that way it might embarrass her if she is with him. Get to know the boyfriend/hubby. That’s a good way to break the insecure bastard. That will show that there is nothing going on between you and his woman. so you and your friend have known each other for x amount of years, you don’t want to lose her friendship for “sum yung guy” then its up to you to respect her.... respect her time with her boy/hubby. This might not be as accurate but hopefully this helps.
__________________
RB26DETT - Inline-6 Twin-Turbo Charged kazitorii tuned
JUN/NISMO/GReddy built motor cars ltd.

{{Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital }}
Gtrr33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 08:56 PM   #24
Not a mod
 
SoulCrusher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Surrey
Posts: 1,310
Thanked 474 Times in 121 Posts
If you know that hanging out with her could cause problems between her and her husband, why don't you back off. You're putting her in a position where she has to lie to her husband. Does that make you feel good about yourself?
SoulCrusher is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-27-2009, 09:37 PM   #25
Captain Happy Bubble is my Homeboy
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Van
Posts: 320
Thanked 48 Times in 11 Posts
So you want to keep hanging out with her, and cause conflict between 2 married people, who are you to do that anyways? Just back off.
Synapz is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:56 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Revscene.net cannot be held accountable for the actions of its members nor does the opinions of the members represent that of Revscene.net