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View Poll Results: which limb do you wipe with? | |
wipe with left hand
|     | 18 | 9.28% | |
wipe with right hand
|    | 156 | 80.41% | |
alternate left and right
|    | 6 | 3.09% | |
I save toilet paper and thus trees by jumping into the shower after
|    | 8 | 4.12% | |
I have a fancy water jet sprayer
|    | 5 | 2.58% | |
other : please specify in post.
|    | 1 | 0.52% |
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01-09-2010, 11:38 AM
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#26 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,189
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btw "fancy water jet sprayer" is called a bidet.
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01-09-2010, 11:49 AM
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#27 | | MonoPod 1 of 3
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Internet
Posts: 7,260
Thanked 1,024 Times in 444 Posts
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thank you for pointing out my ignorance.
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01-09-2010, 12:00 PM
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#28 | | Waxin’ Punks
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: South Surrey
Posts: 7,280
Thanked 6,161 Times in 2,138 Posts
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I do have a bidet, but choose not to use it. Something just doesn't seem right about it.
__________________
If you drive like an asshole, you probably are one. Quote:
Originally Posted by MG1  punkwax, I don't care what your friends say about you, you are gold! | Quote:
Originally Posted by mikemhg What do your farts sound like then? | | |
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01-09-2010, 12:08 PM
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#29 | | YOU CANT CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: FL400
Posts: 5,873
Thanked 3,117 Times in 1,044 Posts
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origami crane - gives me something to do while im shitting
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Where the hell am I
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01-09-2010, 12:19 PM
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#30 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Richmond BC
Posts: 3,192
Thanked 152 Times in 44 Posts
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01-09-2010, 12:21 PM
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#31 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: 604
Posts: 2,300
Thanked 551 Times in 80 Posts
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napkin fold mann
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PSN: JHUJeW
O o
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| SHOOP DA WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!
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01-09-2010, 12:24 PM
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#32 | | MOD
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: VANCOUVER
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The mummy hahaha. Awesome. Posted via RS Mobile | |
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01-09-2010, 12:36 PM
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#33 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,396
Thanked 11,955 Times in 5,149 Posts
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Right hand, 15 to 1, so far. Maybe it is the universal hand to wipe your ass with. I wAnder why that is? I wAnder if people from south of the equator uses left hand. Kind of like the way water drains the opposite way in Australia and parts south of the equator. Maybe it is the fact the toilet handle is on stage right? So many questions to be answered. I think the government should fund a report to be done on this very topic.
May you RIP, Thomas Crapper.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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01-09-2010, 12:40 PM
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#34 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,396
Thanked 11,955 Times in 5,149 Posts
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As a side note, my friend did a quick survey in one of his classes and it was 29 to 1 in favour of the right hand. The person who said left han had to, because his right arm was in a cast. The person claimed it was the worst 5 weeks of his life - trying to wipe with the other hand. You guys should try it. It is next to impossible.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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01-09-2010, 12:42 PM
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#35 | | Waxin’ Punks
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: South Surrey
Posts: 7,280
Thanked 6,161 Times in 2,138 Posts
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^ You are waaay too interested in ass wiping my friend 
__________________
If you drive like an asshole, you probably are one. Quote:
Originally Posted by MG1 punkwax, I don't care what your friends say about you, you are gold! | Quote:
Originally Posted by mikemhg What do your farts sound like then? | | |
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01-09-2010, 12:43 PM
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#36 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,396
Thanked 11,955 Times in 5,149 Posts
Failed 318 Times in 204 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by TRD604 The mummy hahaha. Awesome. Posted via RS Mobile | until you have to take it off..........
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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01-09-2010, 12:49 PM
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#37 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,396
Thanked 11,955 Times in 5,149 Posts
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodnarb ^ You are waaay too interested in ass wiping my friend | Now that you mention it..............
I'm more interested in the method of wiping or lack thereof.
I guess it depends on the type of shit (what you ate beforehand).
Runny, little balls (like maltesers), captain's log, stringy (celery), etc.
Sometimes you have to pat instead of wiping which causes smearing. Oh then there's dingleberries (swolen hemeroidal tissues). I'm pretty hairy back there, so I have to be careful.
Preperation H or Tuck's wipes are so soothing. Did you know that stuff is made from sharks?
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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01-09-2010, 01:04 PM
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#38 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: May 2001 Location: 604
Posts: 16,870
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napkin fold ftw
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01-09-2010, 01:05 PM
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#39 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Richmond
Posts: 5,138
Thanked 2,216 Times in 510 Posts
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Lean forward, right hand, times two lol. Generic method Posted via RS Mobile | |
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01-09-2010, 01:20 PM
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#40 | | :inoutugh:
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: GTA VI
Posts: 10,014
Thanked 5,864 Times in 1,851 Posts
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Another serious question:
When wiping, have you ever slipped and put your finger up your ass (varying degrees of depth)? Posted via RS Mobile | |
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01-09-2010, 01:58 PM
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#41 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,711
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by 89blkcivic Now that you mention it..............
I'm more interested in the method of wiping or lack thereof.
I guess it depends on the type of shit (what you ate beforehand).
Runny, little balls (like maltesers), captain's log, stringy (celery), etc.
Sometimes you have to pat instead of wiping which causes smearing. Oh then there's dingleberries (swolen hemeroidal tissues). I'm pretty hairy back there, so I have to be careful.
Preperation H or Tuck's wipes are so soothing. Did you know that stuff is made from sharks? | best post ever
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01-09-2010, 02:28 PM
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#42 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,396
Thanked 11,955 Times in 5,149 Posts
Failed 318 Times in 204 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by TOS'd Another serious question:
When wiping, have you ever slipped and put your finger up your ass (varying degrees of depth)? Posted via RS Mobile | No, can't say I have. I'm a virgin and would like to keep it that way. My ass is so tight...............
Actually, I take that back. I'm not a virgin. I had two rectal exams. One thing you young guys can look forward to. The first time was this doctor who my wife worked for. Turned out he was a gay doctor, serving the gay community. Jeebuz, my wife could have told me, right? Anyway, he was not nice. Hurt like hell and I think he liked that. The second doctor was a urologist and he was awesome. Didn't hurt at all. In fact, as a joke, I asked him for a cigarrette afterwards. LOL.
Thankfully, no signs of prostrate cancer. Fucking hell, I have to get it checked every year. Since my move to Burnaby, I found a new doctor. A female doctor. A little on the old side, but not bad looking. I'm kinda looking forward to it - not!
BTW, if any of you have to get checked for prostrate cancer, make sure the doctor penetrates your poop chute with you lying on your side. Much less uncomfortable.
So there you have it. Slightly off topic, but educational. You can thank me when you're over 40.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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01-09-2010, 02:31 PM
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#43 | | Unofficial Tin Foil Hat Specialist.
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,150
Thanked 1,529 Times in 604 Posts
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You guys all take shitting for granted.
Shitting is an art and You spend a lot of time doing it. Plus it's my only alone time. I always considered the toilet as Man's best friend. Hence why I will splurge on redoing my toilet with TVs and a massive catalog of Magazines.  | |
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01-09-2010, 02:31 PM
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#44 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: burnaby
Posts: 936
Thanked 956 Times in 123 Posts
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I use the sea shells. Posted via RS Mobile | |
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01-09-2010, 02:45 PM
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#45 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,396
Thanked 11,955 Times in 5,149 Posts
Failed 318 Times in 204 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by skyxx You guys all take shitting for granted.
Shitting is an art and You spend a lot of time doing it. Plus it's my only alone time. I always considered the toilet as Man's best friend. Hence why I will splurge on redoing my toilet with TVs and a massive catalog of Magazines. | ooooo......... we have a connoisseur. I wish I could find the time to do that watching and reading stuff. When I go, it is plop, wipe, thank you mam.
Shitting is an art, but analyzing your shit is just as important. Shit tells you what your body is going through.
If you have worms, blood, or green colour, go dirtectly to emergency. No shit, it's important to check your poo.
The biggest scare I had was when my poo came out blue one night. I thought I was going to die. My wife laughed and pointed out that I drank like 2 litres of Welches grape juice earlier on that day. 
Worst poo besides diarrhea, is the sticky paste kind or the stringy kind where there are strings of undigested vegetable matter mixed in.
I love this thread! I think it is going down as one of 2010's best threads.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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01-09-2010, 02:50 PM
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#46 | | Unofficial Tin Foil Hat Specialist.
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,150
Thanked 1,529 Times in 604 Posts
Failed 326 Times in 125 Posts
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Actually, just looking at the shape of your shit tells a lot about your health. "S,C, J etc etc"
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01-09-2010, 02:56 PM
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#47 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,396
Thanked 11,955 Times in 5,149 Posts
Failed 318 Times in 204 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by skyxx Actually, just looking at the shape of your shit tells a lot about your health. "S,C, J etc etc" | Really...............
In all my life, this has never happened to me until this Christmas. I took a really, really long one. Usually, the log breaks up or curls. This mother of all logs, stood straight up. Lower half into the drain and the rest straight out of the water.
Can this be like the old Chinese tea thing? Where it is good luck if your tea leaf/stem floats vertically in your cup?
Time to go buy some lottery tickets.
skyxx, you and I have to write a book on the mysterious powers of the shit. Shittness 101.
__________________ Quote: |
"there but for the grace of god go I"
| Quote: |
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.
| YODO = You Only Die Once.
Dirty look from MG1 can melt steel beams.
"There must be dissonance before resolution - MG1" a musical reference.
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01-09-2010, 02:59 PM
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#48 | | Unofficial Tin Foil Hat Specialist.
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,150
Thanked 1,529 Times in 604 Posts
Failed 326 Times in 125 Posts
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^ Indeed!
Anyway, I take like 2-3 shits a day. Apparently my doctor said it's fine.
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01-09-2010, 03:05 PM
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#49 | | Oh goodie, 5 posts already!
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Aldergrove BC
Posts: 9
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Failed 6 Times in 1 Post
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Originally Posted by jaguar604 |
Hey! He doesn't know how to use the three sea shells!
uhh
I mean, I see how that could be confusing...
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01-09-2010, 03:07 PM
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#50 | | :inoutugh:
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: GTA VI
Posts: 10,014
Thanked 5,864 Times in 1,851 Posts
Failed 970 Times in 279 Posts
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Anyone notice sesame seed like things in their poop? Even if you haven't had any sesame seeds in a very long time?
And while you were on the topic, 89blkcivic, do you guys prefer having a same sex doctor? And if you have an opposite sex doctor, for the guys do you get a semi or full when she examines you?
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