Unaccepting parents
 

what would you do if your parents don't accept your bf/gf because they're a different colour than you?

must be really traditional parents...who are ultra conservative.

If they are causing a shitstorm over your SO and they wont budge, you're going to have to make a decision whether or not the SO is worth the trouble. If I was really into the girl, i wouldnt care what my parents thought. But then again they are pretty liberal

Ask them if your the one dating that person or your parents?
i mean its not the 80's or earlier.. they need to grow up.. they live in a world with all kinds of people.

As long as your happy and your SO is happy, i dnt see whats wrong...
but i have seen many happy people break up coz is this problem..

Ask them why the fuck they moved to Canada if they only wanted their kids to socialize with one race?

It really would depends how important family is to the SO. If her family is important to her, it's going to cause her a lot of pain and suffering and eventually she may become resentful of you for being a wedge between you and them.

While usually I'm big on confronting racisim head on. This might not be the situation to do so.

Skinnypup > These cases don't always involve immigrants or first generation Canadians. Some people are just fucking ignorant.

You are the one dating not your parents. If you live alone then this wouldn't be such an issue.

O and tell them this is Canada where all race is equal.

Thanks, everyone, for your input. Its the whole saving face for the family, my mom knows that we're going out, though I haven't confirmed it with her yet, but whenever she gets the opportunity, it goes something like...

"don't go out with this race and don't go out with that race. when you walk out on the street with this race what do you think you look like? you're going to make yourself and our family the laughing stock" and etc, all in chinese.

it depends how old you are and how serious the relationship is
if you're in highschool and you're just fucking around, then it doesn't really matter what your parents say
but if ur planning on becoming more than just gf/bf then you might wanna consider how your parents will feel about their son/daughter in law.. cuz chinese parents can really hate on people lol

No offense, but your mom sounds like a racist cunt.

lol, i'm not in high school. i think our relationship is taking a turn for the serious- and theres my problem. my mother already hates him. and thats only based on the colour of his skin.

racist yes. calling my mother a cunt just offended me. please be nice =]

Give your mother a real mouthful about being embarresing and that she doesn't deserve grandchildren until she accepts that love holds no criteria. I don't want to generalize, but is your mother one of those people who are against gay's and lesbians?

i think it's more harder on you cus you're a girl..for guys its totally different..my parents could care less...just give it time, they'll get use to it...once you're in a relationship for a long period of time..i'm pretty sure it'll be a little easier and more understanding on her part..

LOL tell your mom It is you who are dating the guy not her. She can do what she wants with her life.

Is your bf not hers.

O and tell your mom she have to accept the fact you are in Canada not China or HK. If she is so against a certain tell her to go a person in the race and tell it in their face in English and not behind their back.

it doesnt matter if your on your own or not, you would still get an ear full when you talk to your parents...




just out of curiousity, both parents or just your mother? if your dad is ok, try to approach your dad and comfort him that everything is ok... and hopefully he can talk to your mom...

your parents should be happy that you're happy, end of story.

Oh it's you?

Well then I give you the same advice I give gay and lesbian folks who's parents are bigots:

If you are indepentant of your parents financially and don't relay on them for anything that is nessesary for your survival (food, shelter, tuition) then tell them how it is and tell them they have exactly X number of months to get over it and if they still haven't by then they are choosing not to be involved in your life until they can. Be ready to do it.

If you are not independant of your parents, work on that first. Then lay down the law.

tell your mom to register on RS so we can fail her.

What's with people, and 'face'? Putting other people's opinion above the welfare of your family is selfish. Due to overcrowding, and other issues at my fiancee's place, we've decided we're going to elope in the next couple weeks. Her mom is all up in arms about what the family will think, and not even trying to understand my fiancee. Fuck 'face'.

xmisstrinh - i went/am going through the same thing. my parents were very racists and basically gave every sort of possibly steretypical comment they could think of. i found it very disappointing to hear those types of comments coming from my very own parents.

for me it's been over 2 years. they haven't met him yet but know he exists. based on my relationship with my parents growing up, i have no problems cutting them off/extreme distancing. it hasn't resorted to that yet, but it seems to be heading that route. i try to make an attempt to salvage the parent/daughter relationship but they don't seem to understand that it's a two way street.

if i wasn't living on my own i would've gone insane. and i'm not exaggerating!

This is the 21st century.. If they dont understand then they should move back to their native country.

my dad has strong hate towards this race because they screwed him over in his business once. now he generalizes them all in one category. i'm more scared of talking to my dad about this than my mom. lol

wow, thank you for your comment. its been a year and a bit, and the same with you, they know he exists but has never met him and yet harbour extreme hate. difference is, i live under their roof and live on their belongings. don't you just wish that the fairy god mother can come to the rescue right now?


good luck with your situation and i'll continue to absorb advice and find a way to work mine out =]

first of all, your family will continue to say shit, deal with it.

and wtf is with the moving back to the country, i guess us Canadians should move away since the natives were here first.

Some people still have deep passion in hating people, chinese people are chinks, brown people are this and that, japanese people are losers for invading China etc. these goes way back and we have to be really understanding it's something you might think it's nothing (since we are so multicultural here) but it still happens in different parts of town.

What if the OP was WHITE and the person they're seeing was CHINESE, what would you have to say? what would you say>

^^ Same thing is the OP that's dating the guy not her parents. O and Japanese are not losers for invading for china. They actually have a pretty good plan when the invade China. If only Chinese stop fighting themselves they could easily invade the world at that time lol.