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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 06-03-2011, 05:27 AM   #26
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I never had a "stable" childhood or family, and everyday I wish I did. motherfuckers don't know what you got until you lose it I guess?

Try going to higher educations when your orphaned hell even highschool school.

I worry because at 24 I'm just returning to school with a goal in mind. But it's hard when the odds stack against you.

So for me right now, fuck thinking about this shit. It's too early in the morning to have anxiety.
Don't worry too much man. I think I'm in the same boat as you, or at least similar. Just keep working at it, don't be in too much of a hurry to do everything, don't get distracted, and it will all come together. Even if you are broke as hell it doesn't matter.

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Old 06-03-2011, 05:29 AM   #27
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I'm so glad I am Chinese, unlike white people, we don't lose face if we live with our parents even AFTER marriage. In the chinese culture it's our duty to "give back" and take care of our parents as they age rather than sending them off to an old folks home. It's one of many reasons why Chinese people on average are better well off than people growing up in the Western culture. Many white teenagers growing up are forced by their parents to move out after high school, thus having to find a low paying job to pay the bills, resulting in little to no time or money to pursue further education in order to find a stable long-term career. Asian families are more tightly-knit and really do try to "keep the money in the family"
You are making some really ignorant assumptions there, sorry.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:47 AM   #28
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^ the beginning half isn't ignorant but pretty close to truth. Can't say much about the latter half though both cultures do have different views on the matter
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Old 06-03-2011, 06:03 AM   #29
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If you're going to acknowledge that there is a difference in culture that explains why most white kids start their independent lives earlier, don't go and say ignorant shit like they "get kicked out" when they graduate and that they are not "well off" and that they can't pursue careers. Now that I read over it again, it's well beyond ignorance. That is some epically dumb shit being said right there.
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:50 PM   #30
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There's a lot of valid statements here, about cultures, financial situations, etc etc.

I do disagree with the "independence" part of moving out. Just because a person chooses to or not to move out doesn't mean he's less or more independent. (Assuming they still do housework, cook, etc. and don't "depend" on their parents) Which brings me to my next point.

A big point is being missed here, and that's lifestyle choice. In-depth educational, financial, and family complications aside.. "Most" people (for simplicity's sake, let's say your average working 25 year old) can move out if they want to. It's a matter of if they want to or not. Given the choice, some people are okay with paying rent to experience the freedom while they're young, and others are okay with living with their parents and saving up to buy a place. Who's to say what's right or wrong? Obviously in terms of money, one choice makes more sense than the other. But everyone's priorities are different.
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Old 06-03-2011, 06:10 PM   #31
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I do disagree with the "independence" part of moving out. Just because a person chooses to or not to move out doesn't mean he's less or more independent. (Assuming they still do housework, cook, etc. and don't "depend" on their parents) Which brings me to my next point.
The main differences between living at home and living on your own are budgeting and time-management. Even if you're paying some rent while living at home, it is likely below market rent. If you're paying a market rent while living at home, then you're being silly and you might as well move out. And if you're not paying rent, but doing some degree of chores in lieu of paying rent, it's still not the same as when you're on your own.

I have had the experience of moving out and then moving back into my parents' place. The level of independence between the two is never the same. I might sound like I'm being "holier than thou", but I doubt that anyone who has moved away from home will say anything different.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:52 PM   #32
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There's a lot of valid statements here, about cultures, financial situations, etc etc.

I do disagree with the "independence" part of moving out. Just because a person chooses to or not to move out doesn't mean he's less or more independent. (Assuming they still do housework, cook, etc. and don't "depend" on their parents) Which brings me to my next point.

A big point is being missed here, and that's lifestyle choice. In-depth educational, financial, and family complications aside.. "Most" people (for simplicity's sake, let's say your average working 25 year old) can move out if they want to. It's a matter of if they want to or not. Given the choice, some people are okay with paying rent to experience the freedom while they're young, and others are okay with living with their parents and saving up to buy a place. Who's to say what's right or wrong? Obviously in terms of money, one choice makes more sense than the other. But everyone's priorities are different.
Sorry, if you live with your parents, you are depending on them. Even if you do the (fucking) dishes (sorry) and cook your own food (tried not to swear).
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Old 06-03-2011, 08:31 PM   #33
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I think at 25, depending on what you want in a woman, you should have at least something decent. Whether it be a house, education, or career. I have a few friends that are in their early 20s with houses, good vehicles, and some toys (ATVs, boats, camper / travel trailers{not all of the above, but one or two of them}). A few of them come from families with nothing either. It's all about hard work and sacrifice. My one buddy just turned 24, has a nice truck, an ATV, and just bought his first house which cost him 730. He works his ass off, he deserves it. He gave up his early 20s, and moved away from home to where the work is to attain all of this. Most people I know that want it all, also want it all where they grew up. Sometimes that just cannot happen.
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:24 AM   #34
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Sorry, if you live with your parents, you are depending on them. Even if you do the (fucking) dishes (sorry) and cook your own food (tried not to swear).
So you're saying if you live with your parents because you're saving up for a down payment, but still do housework, cook, buy groceries, etc.. Makes you less independent than the next person doing the same daily tasks, but putting $1000 towards rent every month?

I personally disagree. Maybe I'm biased, being in this situation. I'm 21 and I make more than both my parents combined. I do everything at home that I would do if I were living on my own. They don't ask me to pay rent, but I insist on giving them some money every month. As I mentioned about lifestyle choice, that's what I'm a little stuck with right now. I'm deciding whether to save up for a down payment, or just move out and rent for the life experience - either on my own or with a friend.

I see what you're saying, that the person who lives at home is able to save that $1000 a month by "depending", on their parents. But it's all about perception here.. When that person living at home throws down a down payment and finally moves out, who's gonna seem more "independent?" You could argue forever.
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:37 AM   #35
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So you're saying if you live with your parents because you're saving up for a down payment, but still do housework, cook, buy groceries, etc.. Makes you less independent than the next person doing the same daily tasks, but putting $1000 towards rent every month?

I personally disagree. Maybe I'm biased, being in this situation. I'm 21 and I make more than both my parents combined. I do everything at home that I would do if I were living on my own. They don't ask me to pay rent, but I insist on giving them some money every month. As I mentioned about lifestyle choice, that's what I'm a little stuck with right now. I'm deciding whether to save up for a down payment, or just move out and rent for the life experience - either on my own or with a friend.

I see what you're saying, that the person who lives at home is able to save that $1000 a month by "depending", on their parents. But it's all about perception here.. When that person living at home throws down a down payment and finally moves out, who's gonna seem more "independent?" You could argue forever.
I think you just agreed with me in some weird roundabout way
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Old 06-04-2011, 07:55 PM   #36
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isn't paying rent towards anything but your parents throwing money down the drain? regardless of what lifestyle choices you make, i think putting money towards anything but investments, education, or a mortgage is just a waste when you start your career.

i wouldn't care what ppl said if i was at home and saving for money down ... living endlessly at home without saving is another story.

my friend actually pays his parents' mortgage and is stuck at home... and at the same time just past half way saving up for starting his own business. i think that's pretty commendable.
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:17 PM   #37
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People talking about independence and living at home is like people with nieces and nephews who think they know what it's like to have kids.
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:18 PM   #38
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Don't get me wrong, if you can stay at your parents place and save up money, fucking do it. It can make your life a lot easier if you take advantage of it.
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Old 06-05-2011, 12:27 AM   #39
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I personally cant fuckin stand living with family,

90% due to the reason is,

I fix cars, I fix computers, I fix plumbing / painting, furniture, appliances, what ever, im a general handy man,

and everyone wants a fuckin favor for free, everyday i get a phone call, and dont even start with "its family, you should just do it", I take the time to google shit and figure it out, they should too.

and its not just direct family, cousins, second cousins, family friends, everyone is fuckin useless, and wants me to do everything for them, it just got to the point where I had enough, and I literally had to remove myself from the family, because they just leech off me, whereas I never ask them for anything, because they have no skills that I require, nor can they learn a skill that I cant learn myself, I am essentially free labour.

it seems like the more trades you learn, the more your expected to do around the house, the more your family thinks "i dont haveto pay for that anymore, good ol glove can do it for us"
and the more family free loads off your effort to learn how to fix your own shit,

"but sister doesnt do shit"

"she does the dishes"

fuck you family

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Old 06-05-2011, 10:49 PM   #40
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Everyone's going to have their own perspective of things. There is really no right or wrong answer to things like this. If you're happy living at home, live at home. If you're happy moving out, then move out. Don't let others influence your decisions in what you do.

Live your life and do what makes you happy, not doing things to satisfy others.
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Old 06-06-2011, 02:09 AM   #41
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After the age of 25, do girls expect you to atleast have a house, starting a family, and financially well-off?
it depends what you want in life.

if at 25 you have a nice house, and a nice car, all affordable or even paid off, you're going to have more choices in women than other guys.

of course this is probably unrealistic for the AVERAGE 25 year old. but if you have that, you're going to way above other 25 year olds and probably be able to pick which woman you want, even the ones you'd imagine you could never get. you could probably just pick whoever you wanted in your age bracket, even if they're taken.

your confidence will probably naturally build to a higher degree than others if it was self made (even if it wasnt haha).

like i said, depends where you wanna be in life.

it wouldn't hurt if you had those things, that's all i can say.
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Greebo i t-boned some guy and killed their baby, it was funny
silvia i have a couple asian guy friends that do very well with the ladies. but guess what, they go to the gym, they dont have long hair, they dont wear orange pants, and they dont play counterstrike. its not the ethnicity that the girls dont like, its the style and personality.
450HP Supra I am about to use your eye sockets as a shoe rack for my nuts. ...something about chinks, j-bodys, I can't quite remember as I was drunk and looking for a girl to punch in the clit. Think of it as a digital urinal, and you are the mint, except, instead of actually smelling mint, you smell like mothballs, rotten kimchee and virginity. I'm about to start drinking heavily now and you better be gone before I get back or I swear to god I will break the internet over my knee and use the pieces to beat you in the deformed skull with, cock muffler.
Iceman-19 If your gf cooks and cleans, good, tell the guy to take a fucking hike. If she doesnt, fuck, that joker can have her. Lifes too short to cook your own meals and do your own laundry, thats what women are for!
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Old 06-06-2011, 09:36 AM   #42
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I wouldn't say you can have your pick of any woman regardless of whether they're taken or not

Maybe if she was dating some loser that worked at superstore with zero ambition..
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Old 06-06-2011, 12:58 PM   #43
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I wouldn't say you can have your pick of any woman regardless of whether they're taken or not

Maybe if she was dating some loser that worked at superstore with zero ambition..
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i meant for his age. if he had all that at 25, im sure he can get 95% of the 25 year olds out there. if not, then he's just gotta work on his personal presentation and attitude, cuz he's certainly got the rest.
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nipples neways...wat is with those fuck'n asians! i mean you would think they've never seen a dentist in their life. are dentists really that rare over there in ricey ricey and? looks like they're star trek ferrengi rejects! fuck'n have broken glass for teeth! goddaymn! and the smell....did a rat crawl in there and shit itself then marinate in its own shit as it decayed?ewwwwwwwwww! i swear...if one of those ferrengi asian girls gave head...when u pull the dick out it looks like it went thru a meat grinder! prolly shaved off a few slices of meat! *shudder*
Greebo i t-boned some guy and killed their baby, it was funny
silvia i have a couple asian guy friends that do very well with the ladies. but guess what, they go to the gym, they dont have long hair, they dont wear orange pants, and they dont play counterstrike. its not the ethnicity that the girls dont like, its the style and personality.
450HP Supra I am about to use your eye sockets as a shoe rack for my nuts. ...something about chinks, j-bodys, I can't quite remember as I was drunk and looking for a girl to punch in the clit. Think of it as a digital urinal, and you are the mint, except, instead of actually smelling mint, you smell like mothballs, rotten kimchee and virginity. I'm about to start drinking heavily now and you better be gone before I get back or I swear to god I will break the internet over my knee and use the pieces to beat you in the deformed skull with, cock muffler.
Iceman-19 If your gf cooks and cleans, good, tell the guy to take a fucking hike. If she doesnt, fuck, that joker can have her. Lifes too short to cook your own meals and do your own laundry, thats what women are for!
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Old 06-06-2011, 01:14 PM   #44
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I'm so glad I am Chinese, unlike white people, we don't lose face if we live with our parents even AFTER marriage. In the chinese culture it's our duty to "give back" and take care of our parents as they age rather than sending them off to an old folks home. It's one of many reasons why Chinese people on average are better well off than people growing up in the Western culture. Many white teenagers growing up are forced by their parents to move out after high school, thus having to find a low paying job to pay the bills, resulting in little to no time or money to pursue further education in order to find a stable long-term career. Asian families are more tightly-knit and really do try to "keep the money in the family"

.... That's kinda ignorant.

Actually I already have arrangements in place for my mother to live with me should she ever need to (like were something to happen to my father).

My parents didn't ever force me out of their house. What they did though is give me a fantastic work ethic, the confidence to know I could take care of myself and the independence to want to. They have an open door policy, any of us can go back to their house any time.

My family is a very, very tight knit group. I see my parents 5 days a week. My sister works for my father and my niece and daughter have grown up practically like siblings. Proximity does not = emotional ties.

Just because things look different on the outside doesn't mean our parents are cruel jerks who banish us as soon as they're no longer legally obligated to. But, my mother though would consider herself to be harming us if she kept us at home longer than we wanted or needed to be. She feels her job is to make us capable individuals and that's what she did.

Amongst my friends and peers, this is all pretty much the standard.
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Old 06-06-2011, 01:18 PM   #45
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.... That's kinda ignorant.

Actually I already have arrangements in place for my mother to live with me should she ever need to (like were something to happen to my father).

My parents didn't ever force me out of their house. What they did though is give me a fantastic work ethic, the confidence to know I could take care of myself and the independence to want to. They have an open door policy, any of us can go back to their house any time.

My family is a very, very tight knit group. I see my parents 5 days a week. My sister works for my father and my niece and daughter have grown up practically like siblings. Proximity does not = emotional ties.

Just because things look different on the outside doesn't mean our parents are cruel jerks who banish us as soon as they're no longer legally obligated to. But, my mother though would consider herself to be harming us if she kept us at home longer than we wanted or needed to be. She feels her job is to make us capable individuals and that's what she did.

Amongst my friends and peers, this is all pretty much the standard.
Alot of asians are ignorant, unfortunately
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Old 06-06-2011, 01:26 PM   #46
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I'm just saying that most people don't live on their own because their parents are assholes :P

Though I admit, I have a far better relationship with my parents now that I don't live with them. Mostly cause they don't treat me like I'm 10 and I respect that it's a lot harder to be superwoman than could have thought when I was living at home.
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Old 06-06-2011, 01:53 PM   #47
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Just because things look different on the outside doesn't mean our parents are cruel jerks who banish us as soon as they're no longer legally obligated to. But, my mother though would consider herself to be harming us if she kept us at home longer than we wanted or needed to be. She feels her job is to make us capable individuals and that's what she did.

Amongst my friends and peers, this is all pretty much the standard.
I have some friends who make decent coin and certainly have the means to move out and perhaps, get into the real estate market. But, as they approach their 30s, they still live at home. In most ways, they're typical 20/30 somethings, but in some ways, they have the mentality of teenagers and this is the result of living at home for an extended period of time.
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Old 06-09-2011, 10:15 PM   #48
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My wife and I (both 26) have our cars fully paid off, own an apartment which we rent out, and just bought a brand new duplex in coquitlam. And in no way did either of us come from families to financially support us. the only "hand out" we recieved was winning a paid for wedding. Which did help alot.
We both had goals as to where we wanted to be in life at a certain age and we did what ever it took to get there. We worked our ass' off
If you really want it you just have to have the drive and actually commit. Nuf said.
It shouldnt matter your relationship with parents or financial situation etc. Your your own master and you should strive towards what you want not what others want for you.
If a girl or guy for that matter EXPECTS you to have these things, is she really someone you want around. I dont think i would.
Everyone has different plans and goals for their life what make mine better than yours and yours better than his.
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Old 06-21-2011, 09:40 PM   #49
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Don't get me wrong, if you can stay at your parents place and save up money, fucking do it. It can make your life a lot easier if you take advantage of it.
Yup. A buddy graduated as an accountant and bought an new condo in Burnaby at age 25. He remained at home and rented the condo out. Now he's dating a pharmacist and she's moved into his family's home with him, and they've now bought a 2nd rental condo in downtown somewhere. Both are 28!
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:18 PM   #50
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quite funny how OP got failed for trolling and ended up being a full discussion. anyways,

anyways to answer his question, in Vancouver at least, its VERY HARD being a legit 25 year old with a car and house without parents helping along. but, if you happen to have everything going for you, girls looking to settle down would give it a big plus. plenty of people in their late 20s still live at home. they still get girls. nothing wrong
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