REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

Mr.HappySilp · 06-21-2011, 10:07 PM

Three is also the culture as well. In most Chinese family even if you move out or get marry you are still expect to pay some money to your parents ( whatever you want to call it). So even if you do move out you still have to give some money to your parents then why move? You will be paying bills, rent and money to your parents.

Bonka · 06-21-2011, 10:35 PM

^ ^ ^
How common is that though? My girlfriend and I do this for our families, yet she is half white. Other than one or two other friends, none of our asian friends and acquaintances do this nor do we see them doing this, yet all of our parents are blue collar working stiffs.

alanp · 06-22-2011, 12:24 AM

I do know several friend's parents that EXPECT their kids to bring money home, because simply that's how they plan to retire...
But some people are more fortunate and can live at home without having to pay any rent, and saving up for a DP for a house. For people who live with their parents without having to pay, then i think you should be thankful because they are helping you out a lot in the long run.

I'm sure many parents are more than happy to have their kids by their side. =D

Kyle_mos · 06-22-2011, 07:13 PM

I have had a much different life than most people here, so here is another example from my side.

First off, I'm white, from a family that is not well off and I have never had any handouts whatsoever.

I worked since i was 14. Enjoyed almost every day of it. Sometimes worked 30 hours a week while going to high school, and yes I started at $6 an hour for 500 hours.

I'm 20, and I'm getting married in August. I'm 4th year business degree, I paid for every penny of my schooling, car, car insurance, gas, food, clothes, cell phone, ENTIRE wedding, absolutely everything. And yes I am living on my own.

As a pretty young person, many people are surprised to hear that I am getting married. My usual response is why not? I have most of my life figured out, and can definitely survive being married. I think what a woman really wants is security, a hard working MAN, and someone that has proven to be able to provide for her and a future family.

P.S. I disagree with huge families living together. I'm not racist. I work with East-Indian women and it is just their culture to live with their parents and expect their kids to stay at home with them and take care of them when they get older also. Its just the way they are, maybe not all. These East-Indian women work minimum wage in order to afford their kids cars, clothes, and food. (meaning 18yrs+++) Not only that but it causes tax evasion (although it is smart) due to all families being able to pitch in on one property tax. I find it more healthy, and obviously you may disagree with me, to live apart from parents and find your own way in life.

600rr · 06-28-2011, 11:52 PM

Sht Son 20 yrs old? you sure you want to do that so soon?

anyway, the original question is are men expected to be settled at 25? I'd say fck no, I'm 26 and a ton of my friends in the same range are nowhere near settling. BUT.. they are never without a relationship. Women don't know what they want. If you can take em out for dinner/a movie, make em laugh. You pass.

instantneedles · 06-30-2011, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle_mos

I have had a much different life than most people here, so here is another example from my side.

First off, I'm white, from a family that is not well off and I have never had any handouts whatsoever.

I worked since i was 14. Enjoyed almost every day of it. Sometimes worked 30 hours a week while going to high school, and yes I started at $6 an hour for 500 hours.

I'm 20, and I'm getting married in August. I'm 4th year business degree, I paid for every penny of my schooling, car, car insurance, gas, food, clothes, cell phone, ENTIRE wedding, absolutely everything. And yes I am living on my own.

As a pretty young person, many people are surprised to hear that I am getting married. My usual response is why not? I have most of my life figured out, and can definitely survive being married. I think what a woman really wants is security, a hard working MAN, and someone that has proven to be able to provide for her and a future family.

P.S. I disagree with huge families living together. I'm not racist. I work with East-Indian women and it is just their culture to live with their parents and expect their kids to stay at home with them and take care of them when they get older also. Its just the way they are, maybe not all. These East-Indian women work minimum wage in order to afford their kids cars, clothes, and food. (meaning 18yrs+++) Not only that but it causes tax evasion (although it is smart) due to all families being able to pitch in on one property tax. I find it more healthy, and obviously you may disagree with me, to live apart from parents and find your own way in life.

Bro. If what you said was true, you deserve one word from me and one word only. Respect.
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Nvasion · 06-30-2011, 09:23 AM

im currently 22 right now turning 23 and i been with my GF for 1.5 years but ive been saving all my money for a house and plan on getting married at the age of 26/27. By that time she will be a few years into her career and we will have enough to put a big downpayment on a place. i have been saving for about half a year now and i get a pretty good pay. i work for everything i own except right now i live at home and get free food/rent.

6793026 · 07-01-2011, 09:27 AM

^ hey young grasshopper, as much as I fully support you on your dreams and visions, things do change. just enjoy the time with her, when career changes, peope change too and i really do hope you make it thru, there are a lot of people (including myself and all of my friends) had the same thinking and when u hit 28. you're single with another girl by then,and if you're still dating.. you''ll feel that it's not enouhg.

but i still wish you all t he best.

svelt · 07-12-2011, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tapioca

Even if you're paying some rent while living at home, it is likely below market rent. If you're paying a market rent while living at home, then you're being silly and you might as well move out.

And what is so wrong about that? I am close to and very supportive towards my family. I'd rather my money go towards them so they can have a happy and healthy retirement than some buggery landlord just so I can brag to people that I am "independent" or fulfill the emotional needs of a woman. For every spoiled ingrate in town, there are two that do more than their fair share of work to support their parents. Anectodal examples are nothing more than that...examples... i.e. the only guys I know that have moved out willingly (most prevalent reason was to be able to have sex anytime they wanted) often make more than my other peers but are still halfway broke and nowhere close to home ownership within the next 10 years. Meanwhile, plenty of other guys have stayed home until mid-late 20s and several of them just purchased their first place in Vancouver. Who would you rather be with?

Of course, there are upsides to down. I am just presenting the alternate view that forcefully moving out, especially in a RE market as insane as Vancouver's, for "respect" is not necessarily the optimal choice. This is because I did try it for a few months for this very reason, and soon realized the amount of money I am just needlessly throwing away to other people. Even if you're fully accountable for every cost you incur upon the household, including sharing property tax, heating, electrical and home insurance, you still end up paying much less than market rent and your money's going to help a good cause. Unless you hate your parents/vice versa.

As for OP's original question... most reasonable women (the type you'd want to spend a long time with anyway) care much more about your potential at this age rather than your actual income. Jr accountants make what... 36K? Jr engineers around 40-50? Is a girl really going to care about his present salary and net worth instead of what he can be in 10 years' time? Useless gold diggers are the ones that date you for the car and the bags you can buy her now, and I tend to avoid them like the plague.

q0192837465 · 07-12-2011, 08:27 PM

If you live at home with your parents, do you have to muffle your wife/gf when you guys are going at it? I'm sure our parents know that we'r doing it but know and hearing/seeing are quite different.

Tapioca · 07-12-2011, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by svelt

And what is so wrong about that? I am close to and very supportive towards my family. I'd rather my money go towards them so they can have a happy and healthy retirement than some buggery landlord just so I can brag to people that I am "independent" or fulfill the emotional needs of a woman. For every spoiled ingrate in town, there are two that do more than their fair share of work to support their parents. Anectodal examples are nothing more than that...examples... i.e. the only guys I know that have moved out willingly (most prevalent reason was to be able to have sex anytime they wanted) often make more than my other peers but are still halfway broke and nowhere close to home ownership within the next 10 years. Meanwhile, plenty of other guys have stayed home until mid-late 20s and several of them just purchased their first place in Vancouver. Who would you rather be with?

Home ownership is overrated (and I say this as a homeowner.) If I could do it all over again, I would have rented because that would have kept me mobile.

Women who were raised in North America like independent men. I tend to go for women who were raised in North America because we connect on a cultural level. I value living on my own because I tend to want to attract independent women.

Quote:

Even if you're fully accountable for every cost you incur upon the household, including sharing property tax, heating, electrical and home insurance, you still end up paying much less than market rent and your money's going to help a good cause. Unless you hate your parents/vice versa.

Moving out doesn't preclude you from helping your parents. Because I make more money now, under the age of 30, than my dad made when he retired, I of course provide support to my parents. Living away from them doesn't make me less of a son.

quasi · 08-01-2011, 12:25 AM

I bought my first place when I was 26, rented before then. I'm white and could not wait to get out of my parents house. My relationship with my parents actually improved a lot once I was gone, no more getting on each others nerves.

I don't think there is a set plan for everybody you have to do what works for you. I don't regret moving out and renting, I don't regret buying when I did. I think if you're able to do it and you know what you want you should go ahead and get that little piece of a thing you can call home.

I don't understand some of the posts about white people not caring for their parents? I mean I don't financially take care of them but if they ever needed anything I'm there for them. When my dad had a heart attack last summer and spent months and months in the hospital with complications I ran his business for him, I took care of my mom and drove her to VGH from Langley every night after work leaving my own family (wife and son) to fend for themselves for months because I was never around. These aren't things that cost me money but it was a son taking care of his parents, something I think most anyone would do. My parents know I'll always be there for them when they need me and thats all they care about.