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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 11-14-2011, 08:56 PM   #1
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[Confidential] Confessing

How did you guys confess to your girlfriends? Ive been liking this girl for a long time now but she just seems too good for me. To be honest, I don't even know if I'm even her type.

Normally, I talk perfectly normal and am a pretty outgoing guy, but whenever i see her I stumble over my words. Perhaps this is going against me because I know girls like confidence. I talk with her in school sometimes one on one. I remember one time when we would talk and all of a sudden she would avoid my gaze cus things got a bit awkward and then she kinda blushed. She then told me she had to go somewhere but ended up walking in the opposite direction of where she intended on going.

Perhaps she finds me an awkward person and just wanted to ditch as fast as she could. Jinni but it just seems like there are so many better guys going after her. I was just wondering how you guys progressed thru the stages from being friends to being couples. How did you guys confess? I'm curious to hear your stories.

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Old 11-14-2011, 09:16 PM   #2
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I don't believe in confessing your love so early because it'll just come off as creepy to a girl. You're basically giving her an ultimatum and ultimatums don't end well. "I love you will you be my girlfriend?" That's pretty much what you're asking. Sound good? No. Sounds more like: Can I be your boyfriend pretty please? I want an answer now! and it's probably going to be NO.

I suggest to not confess. Have a good time with her and ask her out. If she likes you then she'll send signals. Let her do the chasing. If you hadn't asked for her number or asked her out yet, grow a pair and do it. Girls instinctively know the male ego, and will let you down gently if it's a no.

It doesn't matter that guys are chasing her. Stand out by not confessing. Have a backbone and take charge, be the alpha male.

Here's a quote from my friend: Those who show hunger shall not eat.
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Old 11-14-2011, 09:36 PM   #3
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I confessed, and.......

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Old 11-14-2011, 10:19 PM   #4
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If you have to doubt yourself, chances are, your gut feeling is telling you the right thing.
Is it worth losing a friend?
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:21 PM   #5
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OP: Insecure and way over your head.

Just fucking do it.
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:34 PM   #6
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I don't believe in confessing your love so early because it'll just come off as creepy to a girl. You're basically giving her an ultimatum and ultimatums don't end well. "I love you will you be my girlfriend?" That's pretty much what you're asking. Sound good? No. Sounds more like: Can I be your boyfriend pretty please? I want an answer now! and it's probably going to be NO.

I suggest to not confess. Have a good time with her and ask her out. If she likes you then she'll send signals. Let her do the chasing. If you hadn't asked for her number or asked her out yet, grow a pair and do it. Girls instinctively know the male ego, and will let you down gently if it's a no.

It doesn't matter that guys are chasing her. Stand out by not confessing. Have a backbone and take charge, be the alpha male.

Here's a quote from my friend: Those who show hunger shall not eat.
I don't think you have to confess your love to a girl. I am hoping that you just mean confess you like her, otherwise, listen to this guy.
If you can't even open up that channel, just give her a kiss and see what happens. If she pulls away, just say, oh well, I tried.
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OP: Insecure and way over your head.

Just fucking do it.

As above :P
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Old 11-14-2011, 11:14 PM   #7
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just do it,
u never want to think back and tell y ourself
"what if i did confess? what if i did ______? what if"

fuck the what if and just do it.
do it, and no regret!

worst case, u still have RS
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Old 11-14-2011, 11:43 PM   #8
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Are you getting good vibes from her? Doesn't sound like it. I'd ask a friend out if I was getting good vibes from her and really got to know her. Asking her with the way things are is pointless, you're potentially throwing away your friendship on a long shot. I'd go for it if you were getting good vibes from her, though.

Are you just friends with her in school? If you don't ever see her outside of that, then I wouldn't even bother.

On the flipside, if you're not really that close to her and your friendship isn't that close, you don't really have much to lose by asking her out. But I'd keep things casual so that the two of you can get to know each other better without it getting too awkward.

Good luck, OP, I'm in a similar situation, only it's with a friend who I've known for years but only recently started hanging out with again. I think I'm getting really good vibes, share a lot in common in terms of interests and personal beliefs, and we flirt, at the same time I hear her say things that turn her off that I find reflected in myself (self-confident, conceited, vain). The stakes are higher when going for someone you're really close to and really really like, I guess, but I'm working on it step by step. Not going to confess my love or anything sudden or extreme, but slowly make things more intimate as we get to know each other. I find that works really well, your mileage may vary.
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Old 11-14-2011, 11:58 PM   #9
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Being straight forward with girls rarely works. Indirectly confess and the surprise usually gets them. The last girl i got together with, i pissed her off by teasing her and not telling her what I actually said. We worked together at a lab so she looked funny wearing so much safety gear. I fessed up about what I said and i slipped in that i enjoy spending time with her. Send your own signals. Sending a straight forward "I like you" would boost a girl's ego and you'll become and option. If you give them the sense that you're intrigued they like the challenge of drawing you in.
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Old 11-15-2011, 01:23 AM   #10
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Are you by any chance asking because of this?
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but it just seems like there are so many better guys going after her.
As in, you're considering moving in for the kill now to beat other guys to the punch? (who MAY possibly be closer to getting her than you are at this point?)


Anyways, sorry dude but no matter what girls say, no matter how guys reassure you getting girls is just as easy following X,Y,Z; I always just rely on my reads on their body language instead.

Even when you're in a relationship, it's your best bet. RS tip: Words can be misleading, but body language often less are. And according to you, this is how her body's communicating with you.

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I talk with her in school sometimes one on one. I remember one time when we would talk and all of a sudden she would avoid my gaze cus things got a bit awkward and then she kinda blushed. She then told me she had to go somewhere but ended up walking in the opposite direction of where she intended on going.



Sorry it's not the, YOU CAN DO IT! type of advice/help/assistance you're looking for.
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Old 11-15-2011, 01:35 AM   #11
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OP: Insecure and way over your head.

Just fucking do it.
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just do it,
u never want to think back and tell y ourself
"what if i did confess? what if i did ______? what if"

fuck the what if and just do it.
do it, and no regret!

worst case, u still have RS

What if you're burning a bridge by going too soon? Not all women fall into attraction at the same rate. These typical "just do it" cliche's are just bad philosophy when it's not used appropriately.
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Old 11-15-2011, 10:03 AM   #12
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inb4 BB misc alpha male WK bullshit

truth is, every girl works differently, confessing early might work for some but not others, or waiting longer works for some but you get friendzoned for others

you gotta read the signs, it really obvious when a girl likes you
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Old 11-15-2011, 09:40 PM   #13
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ugly people's problems...
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Old 11-15-2011, 09:48 PM   #14
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What if you're burning a bridge by going too soon? Not all women fall into attraction at the same rate. These typical "just do it" cliche's are just bad philosophy when it's not used appropriately.
When I say "just do it", I don't mean just go over to her house in the middle of the night and confess your love for her so you can make sweet sweet love under the moonlight.

Obviously, it's up to you to calibrate the situation. If I said "just fucking do it" and you know full well that her mother just got run over by a bus, would you still do it?
It's up to you to make that call, when the time is right, the time is right. You don't go about your everyday life preparing for a Hollywood style confession JUST IN CASE the time happens to be now.
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:56 PM   #15
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When I say "just do it", I don't mean just go over to her house in the middle of the night and confess your love for her so you can make sweet sweet love under the moonlight.

Obviously, it's up to you to calibrate the situation. If I said "just fucking do it" and you know full well that her mother just got run over by a bus, would you still do it? It's up to you to make that call, when the time is right, the time is right. You don't go about your everyday life preparing for a Hollywood style confession JUST IN CASE the time happens to be now.
You're an idiot to the nth degree.

How can the OP calibrate properly when the crux of his query are calibration issues; since he's asking whether or not/or when is it appropriate for him to "pull the trigger" on the situation. His situation in particular, is just not as extreme as the examples you like to justify your posts with. Your blank "just do it" statement insinuates just that... "just do it"; as in now. not later, now.

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OP: Insecure and way over your head.

Just fucking do it.


idiots trying to sound slick by spamming societal cliches. Beware the bad advices OP. There's a right place for: "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take","It's now or never", etc. type cliches; this is not it.

Last edited by Noir; 11-16-2011 at 12:03 AM.
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Old 11-15-2011, 11:58 PM   #16
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A picture is worth a thousand words. Serious advice:

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Old 11-16-2011, 02:57 PM   #17
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It doesn't sound like she's interested in you and it's probably best not to say anything until you get to know her better. If you do it now then you're basically killing off your possible chances.
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Old 11-16-2011, 03:02 PM   #18
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A picture is worth a thousand words. Serious advice:

Posting a picture of three words /= a thousand words.
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Old 11-16-2011, 07:37 PM   #19
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You're an idiot to the nth degree.

How can the OP calibrate properly when the crux of his query are calibration issues; since he's asking whether or not/or when is it appropriate for him to "pull the trigger" on the situation. His situation in particular, is just not as extreme as the examples you like to justify your posts with. Your blank "just do it" statement insinuates just that... "just do it"; as in now. not later, now.





idiots trying to sound slick by spamming societal cliches. Beware the bad advices OP. There's a right place for: "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take","It's now or never", etc. type cliches; this is not it.
So now you're saying what I'm saying = what I'm saying.
What are you pointing at?

I read the post, and I said to the OP, just do it. Now. Plain and simple.
In situations like these I find it hard to give advice like Noir the almighty with his deep and insightful solutions to every little possible minute detail of the supposed situation (which was promptly explained to us in 200 words).

Now what I could have said was, "just do it when the time feels right", which by anybody's standards, is healthy and good advice. I also could have stated the reasons for stating that the OP should "just do it", now, later, or at any other given time. But I didn't, because all of which just brings me back to what I did say: "just fucking do it".

So, you can take your time and explain the pros and cons of doing (or not doing) whatever it is the OP ought to be doing, and any short and long term repercussions and/or rewards for doing so. But since the OP has his mind set on confessing, we can safely assume that sooner or later, he is going to just do it. And it may not be at the right time. It may not be now, it may not be in the near future. Hell, it may not even be when it matters any more. And if he doesn't...well, then don't I look silly.

So, I reiterate, VERY CAREFULLY, to the OP:
Just do it (when the time feels very, very right)
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:08 AM   #20
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Recently confessed to a girl about pursuing a relationship with her, however, I do know she has feelings for me already. Wrote her a letter because I have a hard time saying it in person. She liked it, but because of complications, we can't be with each other. I have never felt this good confessing my feelings to another person. Does it take balls, hell ya it does, are you ready? Maybe not, but no one is truly ever ready to confess.
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Old 11-19-2011, 09:44 AM   #21
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Recently confessed to a girl about pursuing a relationship with her, however, I do know she has feelings for me already. Wrote her a letter because I have a hard time saying it in person. She liked it, but because of complications, we can't be with each other. I have never felt this good confessing my feelings to another person. Does it take balls, hell ya it does, are you ready? Maybe not, but no one is truly ever ready to confess.
First fail, you wrote her a letter.

Second fail, no matter what a girl says, if you two are not together after you "confessed", then that means she's not that into you. A girl may give marginal resistance, but not being together because it is "too fast" or some other "complicated" crap just means you got rejected. It is never "too fast" or "too complicated" for a girl when its coming from a guy she likes and wants to be together with.
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Old 11-19-2011, 10:23 AM   #22
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First fail, you wrote her a letter.

Second fail, no matter what a girl says, if you two are not together after you "confessed", then that means she's not that into you. A girl may give marginal resistance, but not being together because it is "too fast" or some other "complicated" crap just means you got rejected. It is never "too fast" or "too complicated" for a girl when its coming from a guy she likes and wants to be together with.
Zyzz

No one asked for your advice.
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Old 11-19-2011, 12:25 PM   #23
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Just dropping by and point out how fail that is
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Old 11-21-2011, 12:28 AM   #24
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i wouldnt confess man.
recently me and this girl (co_worker) who had a mad crush on me. eventually she started sending me mixed signals. so i got confused. so we went out for dinner and talked
about what we were. i confessed that i started to like her. she said she enjoys my company but doesnt want a relationship. so i respected that decision.
now i feel like i lost her. our conversations arent as great as before. she would wanna do things with me. not anymore

normally i never ever confess to a girl that i like her.
this time for whatever reason. i got WEAK and did. and i messed up a friendship.

i also broke my rule. never mix business with pleasure...sometimes when i see her i get all weird in the stomach
and have a hard time focusing @ work.
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Old 11-21-2011, 01:13 AM   #25
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So now you're saying what I'm saying = what I'm saying.
What are you pointing at?

I read the post, and I said to the OP, just do it. Now. Plain and simple.
In situations like these I find it hard to give advice like Noir the almighty with his deep and insightful solutions to every little possible minute detail of the supposed situation (which was promptly explained to us in 200 words).

Now what I could have said was, "just do it when the time feels right", which by anybody's standards, is healthy and good advice. I also could have stated the reasons for stating that the OP should "just do it", now, later, or at any other given time. But I didn't, because all of which just brings me back to what I did say: "just fucking do it".

So, you can take your time and explain the pros and cons of doing (or not doing) whatever it is the OP ought to be doing, and any short and long term repercussions and/or rewards for doing so. But since the OP has his mind set on confessing, we can safely assume that sooner or later, he is going to just do it. And it may not be at the right time. It may not be now, it may not be in the near future. Hell, it may not even be when it matters any more. And if he doesn't...well, then don't I look silly.

So, I reiterate, VERY CAREFULLY, to the OP:
Just do it (when the time feels very, very right)




JUST DO IT (when the time is right)? Nice try with the size 1 font. You just went from giving bad advice to giving useless advice. I mean, what's the point of advising someone "just do it (when the time is right)" when his initial query in the first place is in the nature of... "when is the time right?"



Beware the advice of this guy RS.

Point still is: body language suggest no. Don't go confessing just because you feel that other guys may be beating you to the punch.
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