You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.
Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
i was in a similar situation and i was the one who didnt want to have sex.
it was a real drain on the relationship and it did represent a larger issue.
you guys may not be compatible in bed....its not you, per se....just you guys together. i dont want to bring ya down, but i dont think it will get better. she isnt going to wake-up one day and be totally DTF.
i could go on and on about this topic, but it is not the same now that i am with someone else. is it break-up worthy? maybe not...but are the underlying reasons worthy? probably.
you need to be happy, and the sex thing can be a major issue after a few years. intimacy is a very important part of a relationship.
Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk..
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt
I actually broke up with my g/f of 11+ years to this same issue. There was no sex at all she always used to fall a sleep and when we did have it on the rare occasion the passion wasn't there which of course is a huge thing in a relationship.
I went out whored around for a bit (fisted a prego chick no joke) and I met a wicked girl when I wasn't expecting at all and now the sex is great but I do really miss the ex as well no questions asked because that's just natural. That sex doesn't mean everything but if you don't have that passion for each other you honestly don't have a future together.
The following is a reply from the Anonymous member
Just to clear up the story for everyone, I havent talked to her about this issue after this post was made. I have talked to her before during times in our relationship raising the issue. But as of recent times I havent brought it up as to not want to risk starting a unnecessary fight.
TheNewGirl - You pretty much nailed it. She does want to have a normal libido (ie.sex therapist) but nothing has changed.
I dont know if its lately we havent been spending as much time together so I have had too much time to think or whatever, but I believe this issue is unavoidable now.
Im in a relationship where everything is a routine, basically stuck in a rut. Its neither good or bad, we never fight, and we hardly have any actual happy moments spent together cuz we're so busy. Seems shallow, but without sex it seems like I lost my passion in the relationship. Without a sense of intimacy, I feel like just a friend.
I think I will talk to her and explain once again the issue. I will offer that we go on a break for a bit and see what happens. I need some time to clear my head because I do love her but at the same thing I just cant get over staying with someone without passion in the relationship. I guess just because you love someone doesn't always mean you'll be happy with them.
Thanks once again to everyone for their input and replies. And for age reference, if that helps at all, we are in our late 20's
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MG1
She taught me right from wrong and always told me to stay positive and help others no matter how small the deed - that helping others gives us meaning to carry on. The sun is out today and it's a new day. Life is good. I just needed a slap in the face.
her libido isnt close the being compatible with yours, end it off now, permanently, and find someone else.
its like an old bandaid, rip it off quickly and get the pain over with. dont slowly drag is off.
your both better off in the end, just tell her you cant live the rest of your life without intamacy, and its not her fault, and its not your fault, your both born the way you were born, and unfortunatly anything lasting longer than now would only end up in ruin and hurt.
The following is a reply from the Anonymous member
Just to clear up the story for everyone, I havent talked to her about this issue after this post was made. I have talked to her before during times in our relationship raising the issue. But as of recent times I havent brought it up as to not want to risk starting a unnecessary fight.
TheNewGirl - You pretty much nailed it. She does want to have a normal libido (ie.sex therapist) but nothing has changed.
I dont know if its lately we havent been spending as much time together so I have had too much time to think or whatever, but I believe this issue is unavoidable now.
Im in a relationship where everything is a routine, basically stuck in a rut. Its neither good or bad, we never fight, and we hardly have any actual happy moments spent together cuz we're so busy. Seems shallow, but without sex it seems like I lost my passion in the relationship. Without a sense of intimacy, I feel like just a friend.
I think I will talk to her and explain once again the issue. I will offer that we go on a break for a bit and see what happens. I need some time to clear my head because I do love her but at the same thing I just cant get over staying with someone without passion in the relationship. I guess just because you love someone doesn't always mean you'll be happy with them.
Thanks once again to everyone for their input and replies. And for age reference, if that helps at all, we are in our late 20's
I would imagine she still hasn't figured her own body out, until she does there's not too much you can do to help her.
The therapist she went to is a quack too. Yes she might be an emotional person but that doesn't mean she has to have no sex drive.
Do you know if she has any toys? Even if you don't work out you can find a 'no pressure' way of giving it to her (or better yet, convince a close friend of hers who may be aware of her issues to give it to her), she might benefit from a vibrator and some time alone to explore herself with out feeling she has to. Figuring herself will be helpful regardless and important to her future relationships if it can't happen in time to save her current one.
__________________
~ Just another noob looking for a clue
If, and that's an 'IF' wait...IF your relationship is rock solid otherwise and you are compatible in every other way, then what is the harm in having your physical needs met elsewhere with open communication, as opposed to whoring around punching babies in the face?
rofl you should watch wonfu's relationship video, you are on stage 4 i think... comfortable LOL. No sex and you guys probably feel normal/comfortable when hanging out. No sex or show of love hahah
I take physical intimacy pretty serious. Both me and my gf are 20, currently in part long d, and having some physical intimacy really bonds things better than none at all. She's my first gf as well and I can really tell the difference between having some and none. I look at it like a bond sort of, without it, it seems like things can get messy and things taken for granted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sindragon
rofl you should watch wonfu's relationship video, you are on stage 4 i think... comfortable LOL. No sex and you guys probably feel normal/comfortable when hanging out. No sex or show of love hahah
This video shows how things can really easy lead to things taken for granted later on and the feeling twindle. I'm assuming this couple doesn't have physical intimacy so this is what it can lead to...fast LOL
If, and that's an 'IF' wait...IF your relationship is rock solid otherwise and you are compatible in every other way, then what is the harm in having your physical needs met elsewhere with open communication, as opposed to whoring around punching babies in the face?
I actually wasn't whoreing around what so ever. It was a chick thats been wanting to get with me forever and when I was single again I said wht not.
Well I have to say after that shit went down I have never felt so dirty in my life but at least I can say been there done that
dude, just hit up the massage parlors. if all she wants is your love and not sex, then it's ok to go pay for sex right?
if you're paying, it's not cheating. even if it you don't pay, she can't blame you. she's not giving you what you need. does she expect you to love her and never ever have sex with a woman?
dude, just hit up the massage parlors. if all she wants is your love and not sex, then it's ok to go pay for sex right?
if you're paying, it's not cheating. even if it you don't pay, she can't blame you. she's not giving you what you need. does she expect you to love her and never ever have sex with a woman?
that's selfish.
Being dishonest and sneaky isn't going to help anyone. Not to mention that you're exposing her to the risks you take being with sex workers if she does decide to have sex with you. And THAT is just selfish.
Opening a relationship in an honest and open way is one thing. Sneaking on the other hand, with a hooker or not, is grounds for her dumping your ass.
__________________
~ Just another noob looking for a clue
reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,645
Thanked 2,191 Times in 1,131 Posts
Failed 929 Times in 340 Posts
Well I mean if you think you are bad, think about the guys that's dating a girl who is regilious..... No sex before marriage O_o I know a few ppl like that lol....... In the end they did get marry though.
so I had the same issue with my gf. She has been on birth control for 10+ years, she plays with herself, she cums every time when we have sex or play around, she has toys and ain't shy about the sex topic, so we can establish no, she's not an inexperienced virgin blah blah blah. She was serial dating for a bit (but so was I). I dated her and while I thought she was a crazy nympho, she really wasn't and i called her out on it. When i first met you, you were so gung ho about sex, and now you're not, I feel like you're totally false advertising. (I said if when you met me that you knew I was a really good cook and after dating you for 2 weeks, that I don't cook at all and actually hated it... you would be pissed too).
Birth control does make it where she didn't need it all the time. Then there's also the fun factor where you're serial dating and you're banging tons of people, normal boring sex just doesn't excite you no more. Lastly, it's also in her head too.
How did I solve the issue? Well, she said to not treat her as a sex toy, which I thought was fair, so I made sure i did all the things like foreplay and ensure she's happy with the relationship and general give her compliements. STILL didn't work. after 4 months being constantly rejected for sex, I really had it.
I said, we all have needs. There's no such thing as I DON"T FEEL like it. there's a lot of thigns I dont' feel like but i'm here to satisify your needs too. So what she did was get off the pill and she realized she has every right to satisfy my physical needs too.
Go pick up the book the female brain, once you're done that, read the male brain. Both are ok, but it does give you a better perspective on things.
Yes, we men want sex and sometimes there is a imbalance between the two, but it took my gf to go off birth control AND also realizing she can't be that selfish and has to satisify my needs to really get to where I'm at.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
![[Confidential] Is it wrong to break up because of no sex?](https://www.revscene.net/forums/iconimages/relationship-gender-discussion-17/%5Bconfidential%5D-wrong-break-up-because-no-sex_ltr.gif)
