REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum


Welcome to the REVscene Automotive Forum forums.

Registration is Free!You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Vancouver LifeStyles (VLS) > Relationship & Gender Discussion

Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-19-2012, 09:23 PM   #26
Hacked RS to become a mod
 
SkinnyPupp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sunny Hong Kong
Posts: 42,005
Thanked 17,632 Times in 5,340 Posts
Rare for sure, but they must exist. Probably ones who are raised in a strict religious upbringing, thinking masturbation will send them to hell

SkinnyPupp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2012, 10:26 PM   #27
Banned By Establishment
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: bedroom
Posts: 3,111
Thanked 3,491 Times in 1,176 Posts
i was in a similar situation and i was the one who didnt want to have sex.

it was a real drain on the relationship and it did represent a larger issue.

you guys may not be compatible in bed....its not you, per se....just you guys together. i dont want to bring ya down, but i dont think it will get better. she isnt going to wake-up one day and be totally DTF.

i could go on and on about this topic, but it is not the same now that i am with someone else. is it break-up worthy? maybe not...but are the underlying reasons worthy? probably.

you need to be happy, and the sex thing can be a major issue after a few years. intimacy is a very important part of a relationship.

pm me if you want...i can go into more deets.
dinosaur is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2012, 10:48 PM   #28
MiX iT Up!
 
tiger_handheld's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: vancouver
Posts: 7,692
Thanked 1,908 Times in 771 Posts
Capture.jpg
__________________

Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.


Make the effort and take the risk..

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt
tiger_handheld is offline   Reply With Quote
This post FAILED by:
Old 01-19-2012, 10:51 PM   #29
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,605
Thanked 16,829 Times in 3,951 Posts
I actually broke up with my g/f of 11+ years to this same issue. There was no sex at all she always used to fall a sleep and when we did have it on the rare occasion the passion wasn't there which of course is a huge thing in a relationship.

I went out whored around for a bit (fisted a prego chick no joke) and I met a wicked girl when I wasn't expecting at all and now the sex is great but I do really miss the ex as well no questions asked because that's just natural. That sex doesn't mean everything but if you don't have that passion for each other you honestly don't have a future together.
murd0c is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2012, 10:53 PM   #30
-Stare-
 
ShadowBun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: GVR
Posts: 2,913
Thanked 8,013 Times in 648 Posts
i feel you bro
ShadowBun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2012, 11:37 PM   #31
RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
 
JKam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 8,027
Thanked 552 Times in 237 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by murd0c View Post
fisted a prego chick no joke
the fuck?
JKam is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 01-19-2012, 11:48 PM   #32
Hacked RS to become a mod
 
SkinnyPupp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sunny Hong Kong
Posts: 42,005
Thanked 17,632 Times in 5,340 Posts
LOL murdoc did you punch her baby in the face?
Posted via RS Mobile
SkinnyPupp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2012, 12:36 AM   #33
Official Texas Ambassador
 
El Bastardo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10,135
Thanked 5,356 Times in 1,206 Posts
The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

Just to clear up the story for everyone, I havent talked to her about this issue after this post was made. I have talked to her before during times in our relationship raising the issue. But as of recent times I havent brought it up as to not want to risk starting a unnecessary fight.

TheNewGirl - You pretty much nailed it. She does want to have a normal libido (ie.sex therapist) but nothing has changed.

I dont know if its lately we havent been spending as much time together so I have had too much time to think or whatever, but I believe this issue is unavoidable now.

Im in a relationship where everything is a routine, basically stuck in a rut. Its neither good or bad, we never fight, and we hardly have any actual happy moments spent together cuz we're so busy. Seems shallow, but without sex it seems like I lost my passion in the relationship. Without a sense of intimacy, I feel like just a friend.

I think I will talk to her and explain once again the issue. I will offer that we go on a break for a bit and see what happens. I need some time to clear my head because I do love her but at the same thing I just cant get over staying with someone without passion in the relationship. I guess just because you love someone doesn't always mean you'll be happy with them.

Thanks once again to everyone for their input and replies. And for age reference, if that helps at all, we are in our late 20's
__________________
Follow Revscene on Twitter
Join Revscene on Facebook


[14-01, 13:15] GLOW older the chicken, sweeter the stirfry
El Bastardo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2012, 02:15 AM   #34
Banned By Establishment
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: bedroom
Posts: 3,111
Thanked 3,491 Times in 1,176 Posts
^ omg, I was in an identical relationship for 9 years!! I feel for you, honestly, I really do.

Sometimes there is no BIG reason to let go, but at the same time there is no BIG reason to stay together.

You can love her very much...but it may not be that type of love you have with the one...
Posted via RS Mobile
dinosaur is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2012, 09:11 AM   #35
Revscene.net has a homepage?!
 
Glove's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,243
Thanked 1,619 Times in 378 Posts
please dont "offer to go on a break"

stop dilly dallying on the subject,

her libido isnt close the being compatible with yours, end it off now, permanently, and find someone else.

its like an old bandaid, rip it off quickly and get the pain over with. dont slowly drag is off.


your both better off in the end, just tell her you cant live the rest of your life without intamacy, and its not her fault, and its not your fault, your both born the way you were born, and unfortunatly anything lasting longer than now would only end up in ruin and hurt.
Glove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2012, 09:20 AM   #36
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
 
TheNewGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 1,476
Thanked 521 Times in 263 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Bastardo View Post
The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

Just to clear up the story for everyone, I havent talked to her about this issue after this post was made. I have talked to her before during times in our relationship raising the issue. But as of recent times I havent brought it up as to not want to risk starting a unnecessary fight.

TheNewGirl - You pretty much nailed it. She does want to have a normal libido (ie.sex therapist) but nothing has changed.

I dont know if its lately we havent been spending as much time together so I have had too much time to think or whatever, but I believe this issue is unavoidable now.

Im in a relationship where everything is a routine, basically stuck in a rut. Its neither good or bad, we never fight, and we hardly have any actual happy moments spent together cuz we're so busy. Seems shallow, but without sex it seems like I lost my passion in the relationship. Without a sense of intimacy, I feel like just a friend.

I think I will talk to her and explain once again the issue. I will offer that we go on a break for a bit and see what happens. I need some time to clear my head because I do love her but at the same thing I just cant get over staying with someone without passion in the relationship. I guess just because you love someone doesn't always mean you'll be happy with them.

Thanks once again to everyone for their input and replies. And for age reference, if that helps at all, we are in our late 20's

I would imagine she still hasn't figured her own body out, until she does there's not too much you can do to help her.

The therapist she went to is a quack too. Yes she might be an emotional person but that doesn't mean she has to have no sex drive.

Do you know if she has any toys? Even if you don't work out you can find a 'no pressure' way of giving it to her (or better yet, convince a close friend of hers who may be aware of her issues to give it to her), she might benefit from a vibrator and some time alone to explore herself with out feeling she has to. Figuring herself will be helpful regardless and important to her future relationships if it can't happen in time to save her current one.
__________________
~ Just another noob looking for a clue
TheNewGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 01-20-2012, 10:54 AM   #37
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,605
Thanked 16,829 Times in 3,951 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by JKam View Post
the fuck?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkinnyPupp View Post
LOL murdoc did you punch her baby in the face?
Posted via RS Mobile
Yes that I did
murd0c is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 01-20-2012, 12:59 PM   #38
Banned By Establishment
 
Gridlock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New West
Posts: 3,998
Thanked 2,982 Times in 1,135 Posts
There is another option. Open that shit up.

If, and that's an 'IF' wait...IF your relationship is rock solid otherwise and you are compatible in every other way, then what is the harm in having your physical needs met elsewhere with open communication, as opposed to whoring around punching babies in the face?
Gridlock is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
This post FAILED by:
Old 01-20-2012, 02:02 PM   #39
Banned By Establishment
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 600
Thanked 1,669 Times in 147 Posts
rofl you should watch wonfu's relationship video, you are on stage 4 i think... comfortable LOL. No sex and you guys probably feel normal/comfortable when hanging out. No sex or show of love hahah
sindragon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2012, 02:20 PM   #40
I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
 
BaoTurbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Neverland
Posts: 2,577
Thanked 550 Times in 301 Posts
I take physical intimacy pretty serious. Both me and my gf are 20, currently in part long d, and having some physical intimacy really bonds things better than none at all. She's my first gf as well and I can really tell the difference between having some and none. I look at it like a bond sort of, without it, it seems like things can get messy and things taken for granted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sindragon View Post
rofl you should watch wonfu's relationship video, you are on stage 4 i think... comfortable LOL. No sex and you guys probably feel normal/comfortable when hanging out. No sex or show of love hahah
This video shows how things can really easy lead to things taken for granted later on and the feeling twindle. I'm assuming this couple doesn't have physical intimacy so this is what it can lead to...fast LOL
BaoTurbo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2012, 03:14 PM   #41
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,605
Thanked 16,829 Times in 3,951 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gridlock View Post
There is another option. Open that shit up.

If, and that's an 'IF' wait...IF your relationship is rock solid otherwise and you are compatible in every other way, then what is the harm in having your physical needs met elsewhere with open communication, as opposed to whoring around punching babies in the face?
I actually wasn't whoreing around what so ever. It was a chick thats been wanting to get with me forever and when I was single again I said wht not.

Well I have to say after that shit went down I have never felt so dirty in my life but at least I can say been there done that
murd0c is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2012, 08:42 AM   #42
Banned By Establishment
 
Gridlock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New West
Posts: 3,998
Thanked 2,982 Times in 1,135 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by murd0c View Post
I actually wasn't whoreing around what so ever. It was a chick thats been wanting to get with me forever and when I was single again I said wht not.

Well I have to say after that shit went down I have never felt so dirty in my life but at least I can say been there done that
Your first post made it sound like one was congruent with the other.
Gridlock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2012, 01:29 PM   #43
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,605
Thanked 16,829 Times in 3,951 Posts
I consider her the whore not me. And her being prego at the time she was only 10weeks and not showing yet. Shes 7months now and still sending me msgs
murd0c is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2012, 10:36 PM   #44
I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,699
Thanked 1,007 Times in 403 Posts
dude, just hit up the massage parlors. if all she wants is your love and not sex, then it's ok to go pay for sex right?

if you're paying, it's not cheating. even if it you don't pay, she can't blame you. she's not giving you what you need. does she expect you to love her and never ever have sex with a woman?

that's selfish.
mr_chin is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 01-23-2012, 09:13 AM   #45
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
 
TheNewGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 1,476
Thanked 521 Times in 263 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by aznlangjai View Post
dude, just hit up the massage parlors. if all she wants is your love and not sex, then it's ok to go pay for sex right?

if you're paying, it's not cheating. even if it you don't pay, she can't blame you. she's not giving you what you need. does she expect you to love her and never ever have sex with a woman?

that's selfish.
Being dishonest and sneaky isn't going to help anyone. Not to mention that you're exposing her to the risks you take being with sex workers if she does decide to have sex with you. And THAT is just selfish.

Opening a relationship in an honest and open way is one thing. Sneaking on the other hand, with a hooker or not, is grounds for her dumping your ass.
__________________
~ Just another noob looking for a clue
TheNewGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2012, 02:13 PM   #46
reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
 
Mr.HappySilp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 9,532
Thanked 1,659 Times in 843 Posts
Well I mean if you think you are bad, think about the guys that's dating a girl who is regilious..... No sex before marriage O_o I know a few ppl like that lol....... In the end they did get marry though.
Mr.HappySilp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2012, 03:01 PM   #47
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
 
TheNewGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 1,476
Thanked 521 Times in 263 Posts
But those guys know what they're signing up for from the get go. No pity for them!
__________________
~ Just another noob looking for a clue
TheNewGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2012, 04:03 PM   #48
HELP ME PLS!!!
 
6793026's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: BC, HK, USA
Posts: 5,731
Thanked 1,392 Times in 503 Posts
so I had the same issue with my gf. She has been on birth control for 10+ years, she plays with herself, she cums every time when we have sex or play around, she has toys and ain't shy about the sex topic, so we can establish no, she's not an inexperienced virgin blah blah blah. She was serial dating for a bit (but so was I). I dated her and while I thought she was a crazy nympho, she really wasn't and i called her out on it. When i first met you, you were so gung ho about sex, and now you're not, I feel like you're totally false advertising. (I said if when you met me that you knew I was a really good cook and after dating you for 2 weeks, that I don't cook at all and actually hated it... you would be pissed too).

Birth control does make it where she didn't need it all the time. Then there's also the fun factor where you're serial dating and you're banging tons of people, normal boring sex just doesn't excite you no more. Lastly, it's also in her head too.

How did I solve the issue? Well, she said to not treat her as a sex toy, which I thought was fair, so I made sure i did all the things like foreplay and ensure she's happy with the relationship and general give her compliements. STILL didn't work. after 4 months being constantly rejected for sex, I really had it.

I said, we all have needs. There's no such thing as I DON"T FEEL like it. there's a lot of thigns I dont' feel like but i'm here to satisify your needs too. So what she did was get off the pill and she realized she has every right to satisfy my physical needs too.

Go pick up the book the female brain, once you're done that, read the male brain. Both are ok, but it does give you a better perspective on things.

Yes, we men want sex and sometimes there is a imbalance between the two, but it took my gf to go off birth control AND also realizing she can't be that selfish and has to satisify my needs to really get to where I'm at.
__________________
Arguing on the internet is like running in the SPECIAL OLYMPICS.

Even if you win, you're still retarded.
6793026 is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 01-23-2012, 09:07 PM   #49
I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
 
BaoTurbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Neverland
Posts: 2,577
Thanked 550 Times in 301 Posts
^True that. It's in guys genes and if I could help resist it, well damn I would be surprised. Just gotta understand both sides of the book
BaoTurbo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2012, 09:11 PM   #50
Banned By Establishment
 
Gridlock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New West
Posts: 3,998
Thanked 2,982 Times in 1,135 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by murd0c View Post
I consider her the whore not me. And her being prego at the time she was only 10weeks and not showing yet. Shes 7months now and still sending me msgs
So, in 10 weeks, she had managed to ditch the baby daddy and start having you fist her?

Classy lady
Gridlock is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 06:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Revscene.net cannot be held accountable for the actions of its members nor does the opinions of the members represent that of Revscene.net