man this almost reminded me of the time my ex (still ex at the time) was going to a concert and was shooting photos for a magazine. I offered to drive her and pick her up, her phone was dead and stupid me decided to let her use my phone out of trust. I pick her up she was in tears n shit (drunk too) she rummaged through my phone read all my texts and found out I was chatting with a bunch of other ladies. Let thy lesson be learned: COVER YOUR TRACKS .

Ugh. I wouldn't give my pin to anything to my SO either if I didn't want to.

Buy her a smart phone and data plan for her next birthday.

Problem there is that buying a smart phone is a one time thing, whereas a data plan isn't!

I right out yelled at my gf.

I have nothing to hide. I am not cheating on you, and this is what I do. I have a password on my phone. you can at ANYTIME demand to look at my phone and go thru my phone, but you will NOT get my password. Is that clear? We left it off at that.

i have someone that demands email passwords, bank passwords and i"M like FUCK no. Sorry but just causae I love you, doesn't mean you have a right to have any of my personal info.

It's not a big deal. I wouldn't mind sharing the information if they asked for it. Although everybody is different in terms of what they are comfortable with. If you don't want to then don't.

Wow you guys suck at cheating. So much so that even when you're not cheating... you guys give a tiny false sense that "you just might be."

I can give a girl my cellphone, let her check my messages, email, cellphone, view and hear my messages and still bang others without the gf knowing shit.


It's a relationship and there's a natural give and take. Right now you feel like you're being violated because you're not in a situation to doubt your position. However, should the time come that it's your turn to doubt her, you'd very much expect the same availabilities; which is:

* If you ask her if she's cheating, you expect the truth
* If you ask to if she's willing to confirm the truth (if she's not) she won't hesitate to accomodate. Whether that be allowing you to see her messages, etc. it doesn't matter.


The key to a successful relationship is if you can relate to her POV in a dispute; and put yourself in her shoes. Now I'm hardly a model for a successful relationship because I have no qualms about "cheating" nor "whoring" but I am good at "getting at girls heads"; and trust me, this is what they want.

Were these actually female friends or women you just happened to be "chatting" with?
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Interesting topic to say the least.

OP, I think you're not out of line to think this way. A cellphone is a window into your life. It has all the convos you have with other people, all your personal email, your photos, who you talk to. It's a huge window of privacy!

Your GF whining about a passcode is really lame. 2 seconds is all it takes. The reason she wants your passcode is so that she can get to your phone whenever with no restriction.

The issue is that she not that she doesn't want to wait 2 seconds, she wants to be able to access your phone whenever she wants without you knowing.

This, is semi dangerous. In my opinion you should stand firm.

Dangerous to what? What's at risk?

whats the deal with all the cell phone threads in the past 2-3 months?

Opening the assumption that OP will be guilty before proven innocent. I see absolutely no reason why she should get upset if he doesn't want her to know his pw.


Simple solution is to get her a data plan.
If she still complains about no pw, then you know something is up.

The deal with the cellphone threads is that the majority of the population is so preoccupied with their phones. It seems to me along with others that cellphones are taking over our social lives. I feel that more and more people are losing the capability to socialize person to person. When we are behind the screen we can't judge the other's body language or portray our own. What does this imply? Well it means that when Mr. Textallthetime goes out to meet this girl he's always been texting, he doesn't know what to do in person. This may not happen to everyone but I have no doubts that it's becoming more prevalent in society.

I have said this before but I'll say it again, I have a pet peeve that when I'm on a date and the girl whips out her phone just to text and call, she's wasting my time. I give her the respect because I see her once a week I don't want to see her behind that screen. I want to see her face and it's rather disrespectful because I'm left there doing nothing while she texts her friend.

You may or may not agree with this but you can't deny phones are not taking over some of our lives. Kids nowadays get their phones so early in their lives it's not even funny.

^^ I can hold a conversation with the gf.. but I have to constantly remind her to put that shit away because she's always on it. (To the point that she has to CHARGE HER iPHONE in the middle of the fucking day because it's dying from overusage.)

to be honest probably a mixture of both. but it shouldnt matter as we both were single and not in anyway getting back since she jumped ship on me AFTER i did try to get back with her but she said it wasnt going to happen since she was interested in another guy. So of course I did what nature intended us to do...HUNT!

I thank you not for agreeing with your post, but that is the most honest post I have seen in this forum in ages!

imo the right thing to do is NOT give her the password. you are entitled to your privacy.

the thig that will give you the least headaches is just to give her the password
and let her see nothing fishy is happening.

if you happen to be cheating, (which i am NOT saying) erase all incriminating evidence. Like anything you don't want getting out to anyone, delete it ALL.

does anyone need a written record of every fucking thing they said to anyone else? Example: you get a text saying some random slut wants to polish your knob. ok good you know it. *delete*

what is up with people not deleting this kind of shit? Even if i was single i wouldn't leave traces of that on my phone.

clean out the in box and archived shit, wipe all text messages. live a happy life.

My wife has full access, i don't even mind. If at some point the trust is breaking down, you don't have a relationship anymore.

I agree with Berz. Grow some balls and draw a line.

I keep a passcode on my phone, my girlfriend doesn't know it. I also change the passcode every few weeks just in case she might have seen my opening my phone. Earlier when we dated she went through my texts, after that she lost the privilege to use my phone, and I added a passcode.

She complained about it at first, but I made it simple to her. I don't check your phone, or go through your texts, I expect the same. My phone is my privacy and my business, since she decided to break that privacy, she no longer hasa right to have access.

Every relationship should have boundaries to some point, if she doesn't trust you, tell her to kick rocks.

I previously stated that the OP should give the password due to:
1:he stated he has nothing to hide
2:been going out with gf for 3 years
3:no mention of any trust issues.

NOW that the OP stated that he caught her looking through his phone; then of course keep the password away from her.

I give the benefit of the doubt at trusting the gf the beginning of the relationship. However, once the trust is broken, then it's a different story.

haha~~ my thought exactly ...

on serious note ... just like what Berzerker said, this is nothing more than a power struggle, which is all normal relationships will go through, regardless for what exact incidence ...

I am sure both you and your gf have more than enough reasons to not give or to have the passwords; but, imo, ask yourself what makes you happier at the end of the day?

enjoy your peace and quiet while she play on your phone, or even read every single one of your text messages while you have nothing to hide;

or deal with the bitching and whinning about she needs to ask you for password everytime but you hold your ground to protect your privacy?

THIS. Huge pet peeve of mine as well. For me it goes the same for some of my buddies, ALWAYS on facebook, bbm, whatsapp when we get together for a night out or whatever. If you're gonna sit on your phone half the night, do it on your own time.

she needs to respect your privacy. if you don't want to tell her, don't.

I have a password on my phone. I also have nothing to hide. I don't give it out to people. I'll let people borrow my phone to do stuff, but it's a very rare case where my phone is actually out of my sight.

I won't give out the password to my girl. Why? Because I'm hiding something? No. Because I don't want to have this expectation of complete openness. There are some things I don't want to talk about. Some things I want to keep to myself. Some things my friends expect me to keep confidential.

Accidental pregnancies? Looking for a new job while not telling the old one? Possibly messing around on the side and looking for advice?

My girlfriend doesn't need to know which of my friends may or may not be doing those things and what advice I am giving to them (which may jade her attitude towards me, despite me not doing anything with/to her).

Privacy is not a new idea. Keep it.

the man has a point
once you open yourself to the "let's-share-absolutely-everything" status in a relationship, often times there's no going back

you shouldnt have to tell her anything.

im practically with my gf everyday. i have 2 phones , both with passwords. She too has an iphone and i know she talks to her friends alot and i respect her in sence where i wont go snooping into her phone unless she tells me to look at something.

i just think that a phone still should be labeled as something that could be private. Like your banking info, you dont give that shit around. If she asks me for my pin, i just reverse it on her with a joke. "so you can put money into my account that has a negative balance? ( laugh) " and play it on. she forgets every time. LOL

At the end , i stood my ground and she eventually figured out my boundaries. I aint going to give her everything that she asks. There are limits and make sure that i state them and enforce them. Otherwise, if i give her my passcode, next will be my pin, then whe will want to create a bank account together, then spend my money... but thats just me.

and i'm crazy like that.

IMO, if you see a future with your girl then there shouldn't be a problem.
I really don't see an issue with letting your gf know your passcode for your phone assuming that after 1-2 years or however long you guys have been together, you realize this girl is a keeper. If there's no future then it doesn't matter wtf you do. Makes me wonder why this is still an issue for the OP seeing as they've been together for over 3 years...

I also don't understand this "one thing leads to another...." thing where you guys somehow think it's just gonna snowball into something big like sharing bank PINs and online banking passwords... :fulloffuck:

Maybe you guys have been dating irrational and crazy bitches but I don't see the connection. After you guys have been together for a while, there comes a point where you guys are quite involved in each other's lives and things like your cellphone password is so trivial (unless you have something to hide). It also means that you guys draw the line somewhere and obviously, for most people I would say, bank passwords are on a whole 'nother level and these aren't shared unless you guys are married or something.

My gf and I are approaching 7 years and we know each other's phone passwords (can't remember when we first shared but it was LONG ago, probably year 1 or 2). We know each other's passwords for other things too which I won't mention (but not bank stuff). Comes in handy when I'm driving and receive a text because my girlfriend can check for me.