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Also I would recommend not trying to have a kid with $40000 in cc debt. Maybe at 28 but 38?!.
that's crazy, what would y'all tolerate with at 28?
- Horrible spending habit, $700/month lease, no savings, works hard as a server, cooks and cleans
- $40K CC Debt, delulu but high income
- Able to save and invest but no F/T Job for 9+ months due to layoffs, bad job market and no urgency when applying for jobs
Trust me there's lots of early 30s still living at home in the basement working sub $50000 jobs. I dunno if it's lack of ambition but apparently mental health and anxiety is a thing from that age and younger. I guess just waiting for parents to die to get the house. You're fucked if your parents doesn't own. It gets worse when you get into Gen z. Maybe it's the Canadian education system.
I'm too young to know anyone that got owned by this law, even for the property value increase portion.
2 divorces so far, both made it out with their 1 SFH, 2 Condos, $300K+ Job.
- One lost their "shared car" during the division.
- Other lost their cat, sold condo and split 50/50, and covered some of her rent while they split.
One of my friends, who you met at hotpot, lowkey got owned by this. He brought his own equity from a few prev RE sales into a 1.2M TH. Divorced. Had to buy out the ex for $400K or smt. Lost their "shared car" and "shared dog". No income divorce payment issue - they make the same amt of money.
Other friend was 1 month into the qualification of the common law clause, thankfully ex didn't ask for much (or sue) other than buying them out of their "shared car".
Quote:
Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD
I hear you, dating is hard for everyone but for different reasons.
Wish I read this a few hours ago. I googled "what to talk about on a first date" while waiting for my date to arrive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerbs
that's crazy, what would y'all tolerate with at 28?
- Horrible spending habit, $700/month lease, no savings, works hard as a server, cooks and cleans
What about works hard as a server, cooks & cleans, has a maxed out TFSA but not stock market, is ok with living outside of Van to achieve home goals, but probably a 6/10 looks wise?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerbs
Able to save and invest but no F/T Job for 9+ months due to layoffs, bad job market and no urgency when applying for jobs
Sounds like a mutual. Not sure about the urgency part, but still impressive to save and invest with no F/T job due to layoff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbinka
the person with 40k cc debt at 28 is probably still trying to pay it off at 38
You did say that once you fall behind, it becomes exponentially harder and harder to catch back up.
Mike, a good refresher on the reality of consumer debt is the below post that Bobinka made earlier this year when I was spiraling. Ofc not all applicable, but definitely a good read.
Spoiler!
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbinka
You know the difference between the people who recover from these situations and those that spiral out of control until they declare bankruptcy? They COMPROMISE, take responsibility for their problem, and make big life changes to start dealing with it. Those people who cant recover are the ones who have an excuse for everything. They MUST have a brand new $100k pick-up truck, because they need it for work (when a used cheaper one would do). They MUST order take-out because they're too busy to cook. They MUST have expensive sushi because that's the only joy they get each week. They MUST keep the boat because it's almost paid off anyway. The people who fix their shit will eat mac and cheese everyday if they have to. They'll downsize, move to an older building, or move to a different city. They'll meal plan and find the most cost effective way to survive and still be healthy. Yea, it fucking sucks and it's not easy, but they get their life back on track and can actually live freely again.
Live. Within. Your. Means.
__________________
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Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Ricemond
Posts: 13,043
Thanked 14,845 Times in 5,553 Posts
Failed 541 Times in 294 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD
I hear you, dating is hard for everyone but for different reasons.
I find the women in my life aren't struggling for attention, they're struggling to find fit, safety, and life alignment.
On finances, you gotta date like your hot girl friends: throw your opinions out there, ask questions that are kinda testy and see what comes back to you. A few things I have fun with:
Talk about travel and group trips because it not only makes for a fun convo, you'll get one of the three responses:
- Red flag "My friend Darong kept suggesting L places for the ski trip! It didn't have a butler or an onsen in the room so I didn't even wanna go, ew."
- Yellow flag "I get anxious about overspending, ugh my friend kept wanting to stay at the W. I'll pay for safety/location."
- Green flag "Yeah! I made friends in London/Hawaii and I love visiting them with gifts, so I'll usually stay with them and give them a great experience when I travel. You should meet Sophie when we go to Paris"
Talk about fashion, women love talking about it: mention you thrifted some dope stuff in Japan and found Birkins there too.
- Red flag "My ex was so stingy! I just wanted a Kelly and he wouldn't even take me to the Hermes store"
- Yellow flag "These Manolos are terrible, they were 800 and they fell apart after one day!"
Role play:
"I feel like you're the kind of girl I could take to dinner in heels but also hit the McDonalds drivethru with at 2AM"
If $5k landed in your lap - would you rather invest in a handbag, book a flight to South Africa, or donate to a pet shelter. You're just opened up 3 more conversation topics here.
- Green flag "Por que no los dos"
State your plan: "I'll get the dinner, you'll take us to your favourite dessert spot and treat us"
- Green flag "Deal, I know the perfect gelato place... but if you're a mint chocolate man, this is never gonna work out"
AND If they're giving you shit, you can share your opinion in a flirty way..
"oh but are you a generous man"
depends on who's asking
"why don't you get this for me, after all I'm pretty aren't I"
what is this a charity? I love dog shelters tho and especially huskies, what's your favourite dog
"i only do dinner on the first date"
isn't it boring having to carry a whole conversation? i have so much more fun doing activity dates, we'll grab food along the way, and we'll grab dinner for the second date if we vibe
"you're not a 50/50 man are you"
I'm not counting but I'm very persuadable by effort... be careful what you ask for"
"I'm a 100/100 guy, wouldn't life be so boring if we didn't spoil each other?"
What might blow your mind is half the time I ask a girl what she's looking for, no matter what she says, I'll give the same answer and they always go "exactly!!! finally someone gets it"
> I'm only looking for a relationship
Me: Same, looking to vibe with someone cool and date them a while if they're really cool.
I literally think the word "same" really gets them
^ what the fuck is this shit!!??!!?
i swear you god damn mop headed kids are weird as fuck. Like y'all all have low testosterone or something. this is the rambling of some high school cunt writing in her diary.
You just talk to women.
thats it. you be you. stop fucking overanalyzing shit, stop trying to elicit "flags" from them.
You talk to them, and if you detect they are a total basket case, you fuck them in the ass and then you move on.
Sheeesh, it aint hard. Ive gotten some real quality ass before i was married and even nowadays, my supremely wagyu fat, bald, lazy ass can still pull some fine ass latina tacos on a business trip. You just gotta make them laugh, and be genuine. Can you make a group of dudes laugh? Can you hold a conversation with your buddies? Then its the same with the bitches. dont put them on some weird pedestal. CHARISMA !!!! like when you build your dungeons and dragons character, you fucking nerds. Put in 10 Charisma and then go to town on these NPC bitches.
__________________ Geriatric Motoring Crub Member #444
Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: North vancouver
Posts: 14,085
Thanked 35,202 Times in 8,482 Posts
Failed 235 Times in 183 Posts
Seriously you guys are way too analytical. Just have fun and talk about shit you like and ask them about what they like, that other stuff can come later. Dating doesn’t need to be a fuckin excel formula.
__________________
98 technoviolet M3/2/5
Quote:
Originally Posted by boostfever
Westopher is correct.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsy82
seems like you got a dick up your ass well..get that checked
Quote:
Originally Posted by punkwax
Well.. I’d hate to be the first to say it, but Westopher is correct.
Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: North vancouver
Posts: 14,085
Thanked 35,202 Times in 8,482 Posts
Failed 235 Times in 183 Posts
This is why guys and girls have such a hard time^
People are so jaded and closed off they don’t realize not everyone is like that. You go into a date with that attitude and it shows. The people I know that do well with the opposite sex now (my age and younger) are the ones that haven’t got caught up in this “dating sucks, the dating pool sucks, and everyone is trying to fuck me over” mentality.
This is the fuel for shitty relationships. It’s a lot to do with the app dating as everyone treats it like it’s fucking LinkedIn and some sort of interview instead of going out and getting to know people while having fun.
__________________
98 technoviolet M3/2/5
Quote:
Originally Posted by boostfever
Westopher is correct.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsy82
seems like you got a dick up your ass well..get that checked
Quote:
Originally Posted by punkwax
Well.. I’d hate to be the first to say it, but Westopher is correct.
Some of you have been married for way too long lol. Friends of mine that have been married for 10+ years often say the same things. However, its like taking advice from someone who last fought a war with swords during a time when there was some sort of honor in battle.
Its predator drones and hellfire missiles out there now in the dating world for the most part. If you're aren't at least somewhat vigilant, you're in for a world of pain
It can be fun if you want nothing more than a surface level hang out. Some people (men & women) tend to keep an orbit of guys/girls around that they meet off different platforms simply just for this and a side of validation. If you want anything serious though... may god be with you
What about works hard as a server, cooks & cleans, has a maxed out TFSA but not stock market, is ok with living outside of Van to achieve home goals, but probably a 6/10 looks wise?
That's a keeper or definitely on a short list. I have discovered that someone at 28 who is a 6 can actually age like fine wine to a 7.5 at +40yo. , I'm not kidding.
More and more ladies look better in their 40's than mid 20's ... unless that's more of a reflection of my aging ... lol. Who agrees with me?
__________________
you can quote me on that
Quote:
Originally Posted by bcrdukes
How and why do you know this? :seriously: (Not being racist, for the record!)
Reminds me of all the PUA and people obsessed with that book "The Game" back in the day. Now pair that up with everyone's obsessed with their potential dates' salary and NW wow I can't even imagine how fucking shitty it is to date these days.
I am imagining this scenario in my head where some girl shows up for a date with Atsulzer and he's got his flow chart primed and ready and she's just saying things out of pure energy/dynamic/whatever and suddenly it hits his flow chart and out of nowhere he's like "Do you like dogs? What's your favourite dog?" and she's like "WTF we were just talking about school what's this guy on about?" cuz she has no idea he's got this secret path of qualifier phrases built up he's waiting for her to hit on hahahaha
Shit's wild out there.
Nevermind there's apparently ZERO forgiveness for people speaking out of turn in these scenarios... ie: my partner one of our first dates made a joke like "People who don't change their hairstyle at all for like 10 years are obviously psychopaths" and I was sitting there like... uh... I haven't changed my hairstyle for like 15 years that's kinda judgy and she's going on before that about how you shouldn't judge people based on looks and stuff like that so kinda hypocritical... but I just let it go instead of being like "RED FLAG... ABORT" and later on when we knew each other better I asked her about it and she was like "OMG did I say that? Why did I say that? I must have been nervous or just trying to be funny" but she's kind of an awkward person that way sometimes. If I was following some fuckin flowchart I might have just cut things at that time and never have gone 3 wonderful years after it.
There's always value in trying to see where other people are coming from or if you have misinterpreted something. I mean, you could be failing someone and never speaking to them again just because you didn't pick up on the fact they were being sarcastic or ironic when they said something to you.
Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Ricemond
Posts: 13,043
Thanked 14,845 Times in 5,553 Posts
Failed 541 Times in 294 Posts
Yes i remember that stupid book. My introverted friend used to read that religiously. didnt help him get jack shit cuz all the reading in the world didnt work when it came to GO TIME. hes too shy to say anything meanwhile im throwing him easy layups and he still cant execute.
He was one of those sad sacks of shit that always ended up being "friends" with the girl and helped them do everything like a total fag. He helped bitches move, fix their computers, gave them rides, etc. All the while, completely regulated to the friends zone cuz he never made a move. Eventually the bitches got used to it, and then boom! he turned into the retard shoulder to cry on, and the "big brother".
just absolutely piss. couldnt get the girl, couldnt get a raise, and couldnt fight for what he deserved in the career. its all related. Without that drive, that hunger to take what is yours, you wont succeed in dating or life. you'll just be regulated to some backwater status and forced to watch these assholes pass you by because they were the ones willing to take the shot.
__________________ Geriatric Motoring Crub Member #444
Mike it's not on you if someone changes the rules of engagement 5-6 year into something. Like if the entire relationship was agreed upon with a pretense of no kids, yes one or the other can change their mind that's fine, but it must be done in the form of collaborative discussions and clear recognition that something has changed and discussion about whether it's something the other person is open to changing as well... it cannot come in the form of an ultimatum. That's just not right.
A child will 100% change every single thing about anyone's life, but in your case from what I know of you on here from your posts, it will basically 180 most of what you do. You won't be working remotely, you'll rarely be independently travelling for probably 5+ years, you will be sharing finances, you will become a home owner rather than a renter probably, and if she's got a taste for the expensive shit right now baby mama world is absolutely chock full of things that get people with that mindset latched on to what's "best for their baby" organic everything this and that it's already crazy how much shit costs let alone what it costs when you want specialized or brand name everything.
That's a keeper or definitely on a short list. I have discovered that someone at 28 who is a 6 can actually age like fine wine to a 7.5 at +40yo. , I'm not kidding.
More and more ladies look better in their 40's than mid 20's ... unless that's more of a reflection of my aging ... lol. Who agrees with me?
I've seen lots of women who look better in their 40s than in their 20s. Then again now that I'm older I seem to just like those older ladies too - more classy, more mature, more confident. MILFs all day long man.
Girls in their 20s today look like fucking teenagers to me now man. Doesn't help the way they dress look like how teens dressed in the 90s after raiding their dad's closet.
Some of you have been married for way too long lol. Friends of mine that have been married for 10+ years often say the same things. However, its like taking advice from someone who last fought a war with swords during a time when there was some sort of honor in battle.
Its predator drones and hellfire missiles out there now in the dating world for the most part. If you're aren't at least somewhat vigilant, you're in for a world of pain
It can be fun if you want nothing more than a surface level hang out. Some people (men & women) tend to keep an orbit of guys/girls around that they meet off different platforms simply just for this and a side of validation. If you want anything serious though... may god be with you
I don’t know man. The old rules apply:
Be attractive.
Don't be unattractive.
A friend of mine who's in his 40s recently found a nice girl. He's definitely done some work i think to make himself more attractive and interesting. He got into doing stand-up comedy for a while, which probably was a good conversation starter.
On the other hand, if the reality is any way a bit like this these days, there's a lot of blame to go around on both sides:
I hear you, dating is hard for everyone but for different reasons.
I find the women in my life aren't struggling for attention, they're struggling to find fit, safety, and life alignment.
On finances, you gotta date like your hot girl friends: throw your opinions out there, ask questions that are kinda testy and see what comes back to you. A few things I have fun with:
Talk about travel and group trips because it not only makes for a fun convo, you'll get one of the three responses:
- Red flag "My friend Darong kept suggesting L places for the ski trip! It didn't have a butler or an onsen in the room so I didn't even wanna go, ew."
- Yellow flag "I get anxious about overspending, ugh my friend kept wanting to stay at the W. I'll pay for safety/location."
- Green flag "Yeah! I made friends in London/Hawaii and I love visiting them with gifts, so I'll usually stay with them and give them a great experience when I travel. You should meet Sophie when we go to Paris"
Talk about fashion, women love talking about it: mention you thrifted some dope stuff in Japan and found Birkins there too.
- Red flag "My ex was so stingy! I just wanted a Kelly and he wouldn't even take me to the Hermes store"
- Yellow flag "These Manolos are terrible, they were 800 and they fell apart after one day!"
Role play:
"I feel like you're the kind of girl I could take to dinner in heels but also hit the McDonalds drivethru with at 2AM"
If $5k landed in your lap - would you rather invest in a handbag, book a flight to South Africa, or donate to a pet shelter. You're just opened up 3 more conversation topics here.
- Green flag "Por que no los dos"
State your plan: "I'll get the dinner, you'll take us to your favourite dessert spot and treat us"
- Green flag "Deal, I know the perfect gelato place... but if you're a mint chocolate man, this is never gonna work out"
AND If they're giving you shit, you can share your opinion in a flirty way..
"oh but are you a generous man"
depends on who's asking
"why don't you get this for me, after all I'm pretty aren't I"
what is this a charity? I love dog shelters tho and especially huskies, what's your favourite dog
"i only do dinner on the first date"
isn't it boring having to carry a whole conversation? i have so much more fun doing activity dates, we'll grab food along the way, and we'll grab dinner for the second date if we vibe
"you're not a 50/50 man are you"
I'm not counting but I'm very persuadable by effort... be careful what you ask for"
"I'm a 100/100 guy, wouldn't life be so boring if we didn't spoil each other?"
What might blow your mind is half the time I ask a girl what she's looking for, no matter what she says, I'll give the same answer and they always go "exactly!!! finally someone gets it"
> I'm only looking for a relationship
Me: Same, looking to vibe with someone cool and date them a while if they're really cool.
I literally think the word "same" really gets them
Don't you have a GF? Did you perform this?
Maybe you can negotiate peace deals in the middle east next?
Girls in their 20s today look like fucking teenagers to me now man. Doesn't help the way they dress look like how teens dressed in the 90s after raiding their dad's closet.
I've noticed girls nowadays all act 10 years younger than their actual age. It's weird and annoying to me. Intelligence, maturity and wisdom have become rare drops in any social scene.
I appreciate the advice everyone, that was really cathartic and helpful.
I don't want to derail a real estate thread any longer
More soul-searching to come
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MG1
In Mike we Trust
Quote:
Originally Posted by westopher
LOOK AT ME IM MIKE AND I HAVE A BIG HOG AND I DRINK TEQULA AND WORK OUT AND LISTEN TO CHARLI XCX ON THE BEACH IN BERMUDA
Grow up fuckin Peter Pan and get a good nights rest.
I've noticed girls nowadays all act 10 years younger than their actual age. It's weird and annoying to me. Intelligence, maturity and wisdom have become rare drops in any social scene.
Made of playdough, brains included.
my goal in life is to make sure my daughter doesn't turn into one of these social media type sluts. it's absolutely gross seeing some of these women and their lack of morals and self respect
I hear you, dating is hard for everyone but for different reasons.
I find the women in my life aren't struggling for attention, they're struggling to find fit, safety, and life alignment.
On finances, you gotta date like your hot girl friends: throw your opinions out there, ask questions that are kinda testy and see what comes back to you. A few things I have fun with:
Talk about travel and group trips because it not only makes for a fun convo, you'll get one of the three responses:
- Red flag "My friend Darong kept suggesting L places for the ski trip! It didn't have a butler or an onsen in the room so I didn't even wanna go, ew."
- Yellow flag "I get anxious about overspending, ugh my friend kept wanting to stay at the W. I'll pay for safety/location."
- Green flag "Yeah! I made friends in London/Hawaii and I love visiting them with gifts, so I'll usually stay with them and give them a great experience when I travel. You should meet Sophie when we go to Paris"
Talk about fashion, women love talking about it: mention you thrifted some dope stuff in Japan and found Birkins there too.
- Red flag "My ex was so stingy! I just wanted a Kelly and he wouldn't even take me to the Hermes store"
- Yellow flag "These Manolos are terrible, they were 800 and they fell apart after one day!"
Role play:
"I feel like you're the kind of girl I could take to dinner in heels but also hit the McDonalds drivethru with at 2AM"
If $5k landed in your lap - would you rather invest in a handbag, book a flight to South Africa, or donate to a pet shelter. You're just opened up 3 more conversation topics here.
- Green flag "Por que no los dos"
State your plan: "I'll get the dinner, you'll take us to your favourite dessert spot and treat us"
- Green flag "Deal, I know the perfect gelato place... but if you're a mint chocolate man, this is never gonna work out"
AND If they're giving you shit, you can share your opinion in a flirty way..
"oh but are you a generous man"
depends on who's asking
"why don't you get this for me, after all I'm pretty aren't I"
what is this a charity? I love dog shelters tho and especially huskies, what's your favourite dog
"i only do dinner on the first date"
isn't it boring having to carry a whole conversation? i have so much more fun doing activity dates, we'll grab food along the way, and we'll grab dinner for the second date if we vibe
"you're not a 50/50 man are you"
I'm not counting but I'm very persuadable by effort... be careful what you ask for"
"I'm a 100/100 guy, wouldn't life be so boring if we didn't spoil each other?"
What might blow your mind is half the time I ask a girl what she's looking for, no matter what she says, I'll give the same answer and they always go "exactly!!! finally someone gets it"
> I'm only looking for a relationship
Me: Same, looking to vibe with someone cool and date them a while if they're really cool.
I literally think the word "same" really gets them
Are you Ben Stillers character from Along Came Polly?
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