Vancouver's Real Estate Market

[rb]

Originally Posted by EvoFire

So looking on the good side - motherhood may change people. Not only this chick, but a few other women I know who I didn't think would be good mothers, one came out to be fine, and another turned out completely amazing, to the point where I think she's one of the best mothers compared a lot of my friends.

I'm in my 40's and there's a glut of single mothers out there on every dating platform that all "deserve the best and wont settle for less". Being a good mother and a good partner/person are completely different things imo. They may change about being less selfish in spending their time caring for a being dragged out of their vag but it doesn't necessarily permanently change their thoughts on what they "deserve" or will settle for from a partner. If they're materialistic cunts, A 1 bed condo will suffice til the kid is 1 or 2yrs old but there better be plans for a 1mil+ townhouse or a detached in a specific neighborhood by the time the kid reaches 3.

Seen it enough times when I did showings too lol. The men usually have the same wtf did i get myself into look and always try to say "hmm, not at this time as its out of the budget. let us think about it" while wifey rolls their eyes in a dramatic fashion. You can sometimes hear the bickering the moment that they walk out the door lol

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by Tapioca

I've been married over 11 years. To the single guys out there, find a woman who has their finances in order, is well-respected in the community and peers, and treat her well. They're out there if you look beyond the makeup and fillers. A good woman is the key to your own professional growth, and your physical and mental well-being too.

I am blinded by makeup and fillers and I regret nothing................................... yet

[Badhobz]

Originally Posted by Hehe

I am not sure it's about trading freedom for responsibilities. A kid is not an expensive toy or pet. They are something entirely different in my mind.

Before I had my son, I had all the freedom I wanted, job cleared 250k+housing/car lease subsidy even though it was a lot of travelling. To put it into perspective, I was United 1k/GS for 4yrs straight. 1M+ miles in my miles account at any given time. My wife and I would never fly anything less than business as I had so many miles to burn and for any work trip is always business.

unnecessary flaunting. I hope your kids grow up to be as humble as you

[unit]

He literally cant help it. Every post has to either directly or indirectly involve his wealth.

[CivicBlues]

Originally Posted by rb

I'm in my 40's and there's a glut of single mothers out there on every dating platform that all "deserve the best and wont settle for less". Being a good mother and a good partner/person are completely different things imo. They may change about being less selfish in spending their time caring for a being dragged out of their vag but it doesn't necessarily permanently change their thoughts on what they "deserve" or will settle for from a partner. If they're materialistic cunts, A 1 bed condo will suffice til the kid is 1 or 2yrs old but there better be plans for a 1mil+ townhouse or a detached in a specific neighborhood by the time the kid reaches 3.

Seen it enough times when I did showings too lol. The men usually have the same wtf did i get myself into look and always try to say "hmm, not at this time as its out of the budget. let us think about it" while wifey rolls their eyes in a dramatic fashion. You can sometimes hear the bickering the moment that they walk out the door lol

Couple:
1 bedroom - "this is fine"

Couple with a tiny person:
We need detached house in the suburbs with at least 3 bedrooms in a good neighborhood an hour commute away from my office on a cul du sac an because it's safer oh and MINIVANNN!!! Also I need to stop working for 16 months.

I swear something breaks in your heads when you push out that little goblin.

[GS8]

Originally Posted by westopher

Agreed with that. It’s not so much the money, the time difference is far and above the difference.
Also depends on family. We have none here. No help. Wanna go out for dinner? Too fuckin bad. Wanna go to a concert? Who likes the band more? We’ve gotta pick who’s taking their friend. Being recognized by the Michelin guide? Too bad. Wife’s working, kid pissed herself cause she’s so scared of the babysitter, you gotta leave 10 minutes before the restaurant is announced. Is it worth it? Fuckin totally. Took her trick or treating and she was fucking ECSTATIC. Wished every house happy Halloween, said thank you with a big smile to everyone. It’s the best. It’s insane how exciting it is to see them develop and succeed at new things. Even the smallest things.
That said, if you don’t want it, you shouldn’t do it. Not everyone should have kids. A shitload of people try and fake that they are some super parent and they clearly fucking hate it and they suck at it.
Do you want kids? Do you love her so much that even if you don’t want a kid you’ll learn to love it? Do you feel both so much you’re willing to gamble even if she can’t sort her shit out? If the answer is no to any of the above, I guess you have the answer.
If you go that route, you’ve got a sweet hog. I know tons of hot crazy nurses to send your way to stress you all out all over again if needed.

Humility and self-sacrifice in the name of raising a child. Human qualities.

Originally Posted by Hehe

I am not sure it's about trading freedom for responsibilities. A kid is not an expensive toy or pet. They are something entirely different in my mind.

Before I had my son, I had all the freedom I wanted, job cleared 250k+housing/car lease subsidy even though it was a lot of travelling. To put it into perspective, I was United 1k/GS for 4yrs straight. 1M+ miles in my miles account at any given time. My wife and I would never fly anything less than business as I had so many miles to burn and for any work trip is always business.

All that became meaningless once the kid was here. I quit my job even though my boss was willing to double everything, the salary, the housing and car allowance, the bonus I got from making deals... etc. But they didn't matter one bit in my mind. I just wanted to have more time with family and there's not enough money in the world that can buy that from me.

People without kids would find my statement absurd. But the way I think is this, kids are only going to grow up once. If you can't be there for them, I don't think you are ready as a parent. In other words, if you and the mom are ready to commit your time with your future kids, any other stuff is irrelevant and you should have kids. Kids are going to be a motivation bomb that propels you into level you didn't know existed.

Materialistic losses...

----

I guess perspective is whatever you want it to be.

Kids won't always remember what you taught them but they will always remember who you are...

[Hehe]

I don’t think any amount of wealth and material life would ever replace time of parents with kids. I grew up without my parents around and it’s one of the things I swear to myself to not repeat when I became one.

I never told my kids what I gave up to be a parent. I just always told them family is the most important thing in life. Which I believe that one day, when they become a parent themselves, it would be second nature for them to be around for their kids.

[mikemhg]

Originally Posted by SSM_DC5

Dump her. She has small titties. Or do what west said with the reverse ultimatum.

Savage

It's not an easy decision, we've been together 6 years and were both seemingly on the same page about not having kids until this year. It probably doesn't help that some of her rich Asian girlfriends are in her ear saying "why you have no baby?".

I think that once she came to this decision of wanting a kid, and knowing where I stood on the subject she started to subconsciously change. Her tone changed with me, started posting way more on IG, nagging about things, going out clubbing and afterhours, also found out she was talking to a "friend" who she met at her girlfriends birthday, she was having daily text convos with this fella and telling him about our issues. I never go through any girl's phone, nor would let one go through mine, but I'd notice these conversations in the corner of my eye in bed, not recognizing the guy's name.

I confronted her about it recently and she gave me the answer that he's like a "brother" (a guy she's met twice) and that he was being supportive, that she was going to hook him up with one of her friends. I told her "Oh you're Tinder now?"

I don't think anything actually happened personally, but I still look at that as emotional cheating to a degree, a shoulder to cry on can eventually become a dick to ride on. For example she told me she had told him about our recent trip to Phoenix and that we were seeing how it would go, to his response "I hope you find what you're looking for", that in itself didn't sound right to me. She's indicated she won't be texting this guy anymore.

I'm not getting into all the details here, but ultimately I just don't feel comfortable in our current dynamic to ever commit to having a kid right now. I grew up raised by a single mother, I've seen the difficulties of single parenting with one of my sisters, among others in my family, my GF's own sister is a single mother herself, much to her detriment.

I'm 40, have a good career, freedom to work wherever the hell I want, part of me doesn't want to sacrifice my lifestyle to accommodate this potential serious life changing decision. If we can't even agree and stop fighting about the issues now, what will this look like with a child in the mix? I don't want to be a single dad paying child support. I also want to retire in my early 60s if possible, I'm not sure that having a 20 year old at 60 would allow for that, I wouldn't want to see my kid go through the experiences and difficulties I had to go through at 20 years old, moving out at that age.

Anyways long diatribe, much to think about and land on. Sometimes loving someone might not be enough, I also don't want her resenting me if we end up staying together and not having a kid. I've been going to counseling to figure/sort this whole thing out, I guess we'll see what happens over the next while.

[noclue]

People dont make ultimatums unless they have plan B ready…
Also you are caught under common law GG

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

Her tone changed with me, started posting way more on IG, nagging about things, going out clubbing and afterhours, also found out she was talking to a "friend" who she met at her girlfriends birthday, she was having daily text convos with this fella and telling him about our issues

When they start posting more on IG they're ready to be single. It's actually crazy how many slide ins attractive girls get from a story.

That 2nd part is rough. It's not that you don't trust your partner, I'd feel cooked from a respect standpoint.

Originally Posted by mikemhg

a shoulder to cry on can eventually become a dick to ride on.

So true, so many relationships start from this too.

Originally Posted by noclue

People dont make ultimatums unless they have plan B ready…
Also you are caught under common law GG

Common-law in B.C. isn't that costly

[JDMDreams]

I mean there's always going to the store to get milk or cigarettes

[MarkyMark]

From a respect standpoint that's some shady shit she's doing texting another dude like that. Even if she actually saw him as a brother, if she's half decent looking that dude is definitely trying to hit it so he's being the supportive guy waiting for his time to strike.

[CivicBlues]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

Common-law in B.C. isn't that costly

Isn't property division for common property basically the same as marriage?

[HonestTea]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

Savage

It's not an easy decision, we've been together 6 years and were both seemingly on the same page about not having kids until this year. It probably doesn't help that some of her rich Asian girlfriends are in her ear saying "why you have no baby?".

I think that once she came to this decision of wanting a kid, and knowing where I stood on the subject she started to subconsciously change. Her tone changed with me, started posting way more on IG, nagging about things, going out clubbing and afterhours, also found out she was talking to a "friend" who she met at her girlfriends birthday, she was having daily text convos with this fella and telling him about our issues. I never go through any girl's phone, nor would let one go through mine, but I'd notice these conversations in the corner of my eye in bed, not recognizing the guy's name.

Just reading this blurb, I think it's time to move on. Like what Gerb said, if she's posting more on IG, it's either she's trying to show off and curate what a 'great life' she has or is looking for a plan B before jumping ship. Both are not great qualities I'd want in a future partner.

Chicks usually go through grief during the relationship and once they're ready emotionally or found something else, they're gonna end it and dudes usually grief once the relationship ends.