Hard time meeting new people and making new friends. Advises?

[ilovebacon]

Go to the gym, get big, wait till summer and go to the beach shirtless and ask random people if they have been to the guns show!
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[PJ]

Originally Posted by tru..azn

By then, I will have more free time since I will be doing my "own" thing and is more available to meet new people.

Any advises on what I should do once my family business closes?

How should I progress in meeting new people? (step by step)

thanks in advance !

Meetup.com is a great one. I met one of my good friends through there. Here's how it happened.

1. Find a group that interests you
2. Show up, introduce yourself. Be talkative. If someone asks a question, answer. If you have a question, ask.
3. Show up regularly, get comfortable with people, so you become a common face
4. Ask if someone wants to get a cup of coffee or grab a bite after
5. Trade life stories, find common ground. (Music, sports, hobbies, whatever)
6. Continue showing up to the meet up
7. Facebook
8. See if they want to grab a bite or coffee another time
etc. etc.

It doesn't have to be rocket science. But it does take time to build trust with someone. (Weeks, months, even years.) Also, you might find that you don't "click" with some people like you do others. That's completely normal too. It depends on you, it depends on the other person. Meetup's great because the people there are also looking to meet people.

Feel free to PM me. Hell, we can even go grab a cup of coffee.

[tru_blue]

Originally Posted by PJ

Meetup.com is a great one. I met one of my good friends through there. Here's how it happened.

1. Find a group that interests you
2. Show up, introduce yourself. Be talkative. If someone asks a question, answer. If you have a question, ask.
3. Show up regularly, get comfortable with people, so you become a common face
4. Ask if someone wants to get a cup of coffee or grab a bite after
5. Trade life stories, find common ground. (Music, sports, hobbies, whatever)
6. Continue showing up to the meet up
7. Facebook
8. See if they want to grab a bite or coffee another time
etc. etc.

It doesn't have to be rocket science. But it does take time to build trust with someone. (Weeks, months, even years.) Also, you might find that you don't "click" with some people like you do others. That's completely normal too. It depends on you, it depends on the other person. Meetup's great because the people there are also looking to meet people.

Feel free to PM me. Hell, we can even go grab a cup of coffee.

thanks for the reply, so is meetup.com local or do I first select "vancouver" first and then select the groups that interests me from there?

[tru_blue]

Originally Posted by jaylx

I find that taking classes can help become more social. It's so easy to meet new people in a class because you're all there for the same reason. At least you'll have one thing in common to talk about. I'm introvert too but after taking some classes at school (from taking a break for so long), it really helped me. I've met more people than I thought. Sure they might not be your group of friends but its a good way to start.

i have taken both nightclasses and university classes and the people I meet tend to see you as "that guy from class" and nothing more. They are only there to pass the course and its hard to build friendship from these situations because they only see you "inside" the classroom and have no incentive to hang out with you out of class time since they have their own friends, life, work etc.

No matter how close you get with them during the semester, they will distance away from you after the course is over...the problem is that you were never close to them to begin with so they have no incentive on keeping up with you once the course is over...after all you are still "that guy" they met in class and they will continue to see you as "that guy" until you are able to break the ice and actually befriend them more.

Vancouver is really an introverted city where its hard to befriend ppl...

[mac25]

what do you like to do?

don't try to fit into others lives. you'll never be like them and shouldn't want to.

if you like yellow PJ's and skateboarding then rock the hell out of life the way you want and you'll find people the same.

[canuckshockey]

Originally Posted by tru..azn

i have taken both nightclasses and university classes and the people I meet tend to see you as "that guy from class" and nothing more. They are only there to pass the course and its hard to build friendship from these situations because they only see you "inside" the classroom and have no incentive to hang out with you out of class time since they have their own friends, life, work etc.

No matter how close you get with them during the semester, they will distance away from you after the course is over...the problem is that you were never close to them to begin with so they have no incentive on keeping up with you once the course is over...after all you are still "that guy" they met in class and they will continue to see you as "that guy" until you are able to break the ice and actually befriend them more.

Vancouver is really an introverted city where its hard to befriend ppl...

i agree with you on this. im taking krav maga in new year and lets see how it goes. i also take night courses and same experience.

[AzNightmare]

Sounds like you're an introvert who has problems making friends in person. I'm like that too. So what I used to do was "network" online using social networking sites, like facebook.
I'm not sure if you specfically want to meet new friends, or have more friends.

Cause talking to your old friends through facebook would be a good way to reconnect.

As for meeting new friends, it's a bit trickier.
But the key to meeting new people is to determine which of your current friends you have are the extroverted ones that organize hangouts/parties, etc.

Those are the friends you need, because they are the ones that will "host" events and bring their own group of friends. Meaning more people at the gathering for you to meet.
And it won't be as awkward as just meeting some random person on the street or some public event. Friends of friends makes mingling much easier.

Sometimes meeting people at work or school is tough, because certain people are just there for the "business". Which is fine.
I never made and kept the friends from school or work outside of the environment.

As for having 1 friend from different circles, if your two friends share common interests, you could always just plan a group event with 3 or you.
Or on your birthday, just plan a dinner and invite them all...

[jaylx]

Actually, my friend tried out this site called Skout. He said its easy to meet people. Just last week he met a filipino girl around his age. I haven't looked too much into it so I'm not sure if its a dating site or a place to meet new friends but give it a try.

[tru_blue]

Originally Posted by AzNightmare

Sounds like you're an introvert who has problems making friends in person. I'm like that too. So what I used to do was "network" online using social networking sites, like facebook.
I'm not sure if you specfically want to meet new friends, or have more friends.

Cause talking to your old friends through facebook would be a good way to reconnect.

As for meeting new friends, it's a bit trickier.
But the key to meeting new people is to determine which of your current friends you have are the extroverted ones that organize hangouts/parties, etc.

Those are the friends you need, because they are the ones that will "host" events and bring their own group of friends. Meaning more people at the gathering for you to meet.
And it won't be as awkward as just meeting some random person on the street or some public event. Friends of friends makes mingling much easier.

Sometimes meeting people at work or school is tough, because certain people are just there for the "business". Which is fine.
I never made and kept the friends from school or work outside of the environment.

As for having 1 friend from different circles, if your two friends share common interests, you could always just plan a group event with 3 or you.
Or on your birthday, just plan a dinner and invite them all...

To answer your post above in bold quoted from my original post:

My close friends are also not really outgoing therefore they don't go to house parties or host one making it hard for me also to meet new people. Everyone time I chill with them, its always 1 on 1 (no homo).

I have tried to be "better" friends with my outgoing but not "close" friends but due to us not being very close or know each other well, they also never invited me to their parties or gatherings...

[mr_chin]

I think everyone is an introvert to an extent. Do you really want to be with people 24/7? Everyone needs their time and space alone. But it's important to know when to get out of the shell and do something about it if it's affecting your social life.

I don't host parties or plan gatherings but whenever my friends stop calling me to go out, I would be the one to step out and start calling people. It's only so much you can take being alone and not seeing your friends for weeks that you have to get up and do something. (But some people can go on forever)

Are you trying to find friends that you can chill with every day or every weekend? Because as you get older, you'll notice that not many people go out EVERY weekend. They stay home with their SO and maybe go out once a month.

Although I don't plan parties and stuff, whenever I'm at one, I try to get everyone involved to whatever we're doing. Otherwise, I'm going around planning team games with people, like chai mui (five ten fifteen), slap jack, kings cup, or even 1 on 1 speed with a friend.

If you're going to party where everyone's standing around talking about their career, their cars, their apartments, price they paid, their vacations, you're not progressing. People want you there to have fun, and be crazy, joking, making fun of each other (believe me, it's the best way to break the ice with someone), not talk about life and life problems. You can do this later when you find someone at the party you really connect with (maybe even a girl).

So priority if you go to a party
1) Be loud, be fun, and be crazy
2) Get drinking games going
3) Get involved and get people involved
4) Make small talks if all of the above is done with

I also find going to social gatherings like dinners and stuff with people you don't really connect with is BOORRRRRING. First you don't know what they like to talk about so it's hard to make an impression. Second, you don't know if your jokes will offend anyone. And last, who the hell wants to be asking all the questions?

Now where to begin? Start texting people you use to hang out in high school, that you use to talk to on a regular basis. Ask them what they've been up to. Get in on their life and they'll want to get in on yours (make sure you genuinely want to have fun and not bored the hell out of them). This is beginning process of networking.

You like drinking starbucks? Pick one and frequently go there so you can get to know the cashiers and barristers. Like reading books at a library, perfect, need I explain more? When you continue to go to these places and see the same faces every time, start having conversations with people there.

It's like school, why do we make friends at school? Cause we're put in a building 3/4 of a year with the same people, in the same class room. Only way you're not making friends is if you're not talking. Not a speaker or story teller, be a listener and respond. Ask questions and relate, otherwise imagine yourself in the spot of their stories and make a funny comment. To get to know somebody, you have to be curious and interested.

I just want to state that I'm not the most popular guy in school or in my group of friends, but they tend to call me to go out because I have something they benefits them while we're in a group, and that's making things less awkward for every one.

Just imagine you're the host of the party, what would be one thing that anyone can help you make this party a fun, successful party? Be that person when you're invited and they'll like you for that. If you're not the center of the party, be the one to get those who are quiet on the side to be involved. When your friend (the host) sees that you're contributing by getting everyone involved, he'll appreciate you for it and invite you to more of his parties.

Try hosting parties and invite people you know to come, once you commit yourself to this, you'll be pressured to keep the party alive and start to talk to every one. Everyone respects someone who hosts a party, trust me. Or even a dinner with few friends, if you initiated, you'll be responsible for it.