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Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
i got really lucky with my tinder date. she's well raised, family oriented and same values (so far). surprised she swiped right for me because i'd say i'm in the average department in looks but i guess my about section made the difference? i never asked her why she swiped right because it displays lack of confidence so i just went with the flow.
i'm a good conversationalist so my first date ended up being about 4 hours over dinner. i have no idea how we sat there for 4 hours but it's off to a great start so far. all my friends say tinder is a hookup app but there are nice girls who are on there that might get lucky finding a guy who isn't out to bang her.
second date was great! had sushi dinner and went to a small event in an art gallery and looked at some cool interactive arts, poetry, paintings, etc.
now the question is, it's valentines next week. it will be our 3rd date. the first two dates had dinners on the more expensive side (~$50). but for valentines i don't want to suddenly cheap out either. was thinking cactus club? should i get her a bouqet? a single rose? chocolates? it sucks that valentines had to come up so early into my 3rd date. i don't want to come off as too eager or move too fast but i don't want to pretend that it's not valentines either.
first date was $70 and second was $60. however, most of my meals with my previous relationship were around $30 for two on average once we were comfortable with each other.
unless you're getting technical then no, it's not expensive but it's not an amount you should be spending on every dinner outing. that's just my 2 cents.
second date was great! had sushi dinner and went to a small event in an art gallery and looked at some cool interactive arts, poetry, paintings, etc.
now the question is, it's valentines next week. it will be our 3rd date. the first two dates had dinners on the more expensive side (~$50). but for valentines i don't want to suddenly cheap out either. was thinking cactus club? should i get her a bouqet? a single rose? chocolates? it sucks that valentines had to come up so early into my 3rd date. i don't want to come off as too eager or move too fast but i don't want to pretend that it's not valentines either.
You should try searching the relationship forum for answers... or start a "I need help dating.." thread because your questions are becoming silly and are not adding any value to this particular thread...
__________________
Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk..
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt
It was more of just sharing my experiences to an otherwise dead relationship forum. The questions I ask can easily be found through Google or from my friends because yes, it's nothing new. Good luck to all in 2016
Uhh, fuck yeah it's expensive. Do you eat $25 per meal by yourself on a regular basis?
I go to a pho restaurant and order combo B and I get a plate of rice with chicken, choice of spring roll or salad roll and a pop, for $11.25.
Whereas a $25 per person dinner at cactus club will get you a side of kalamari with 2 drinks. Ditch a drink and you can probably upgrade to a burger combo. You want entrees? No drinks for you bitch.
If some chick I date is not choosing the former as a wise choice on a regular weekend, then I don't know.
The dude spent too much on the first and second date, now he's gonna match it every time. Once you tone it down, they'll think you're losing interest or whatever.
In my books, first date shouldn't even be expensive. It's the first time you're hanging out with someone. Go for coffee and get to know each other. Go hiking, ride a bike, play some pool, play some arcades at espot, or browse the dollar store. A lot of my female friends tell me that dinner on the first date is unnecessary, as well as movies. Some even say it's too much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yameen
second date was great! had sushi dinner and went to a small event in an art gallery and looked at some cool interactive arts, poetry, paintings, etc.
now the question is, it's valentines next week. it will be our 3rd date. the first two dates had dinners on the more expensive side (~$50). but for valentines i don't want to suddenly cheap out either. was thinking cactus club? should i get her a bouqet? a single rose? chocolates? it sucks that valentines had to come up so early into my 3rd date. i don't want to come off as too eager or move too fast but i don't want to pretend that it's not valentines either.
Just buy a card and a box of chocolates. Bouquet? Too soon. Gifts? Too much, too soon. Play it slow and small, and see how she reacts to simpler things.
Yeah, there's no way I spend 25 on a meal on my own. I was hella hungry this weekend and ordered a party tray to myself at sushi 20 +tax +tip, couldn't even finish.
Since when is a relationship based on how much you can spend regularly on dinner? From a girls perspective, I guess they would call it cheap. From a guys, it would be called gold digger.
If a dude does provide all these things, wtf does a girl provide? A pretty vagina? lol.
I go to a pho restaurant and order combo B and I get a plate of rice with chicken, choice of spring roll or salad roll and a pop, for $11.25.
Damn! where do I get this combo B?
On topic: Took out a girl once for a first date (first meet up) and she wanted to be "impressed"... should've ran away right there..but hindsight is 20/20. Planned out this whole elaborate date with a special menu request to the Ebisu boss, bowling, flowers, dessert. Cost about $200 excluding parking. Had a good time planning it. She had a great time. Date #2 took her to Red Robins for burgers... Date #3 I told her she would have to "impress" me... still waiting... it's been more than a year.
Moral of the story is: Keep it basic as a blonde chick.
Again this goes back to the whole "never settle, i'm a princess and need to be treated like one" bs.
__________________
Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk..
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt
^ I'm sure a lot of people have been there, including myself.
These days, I almost always start with a coffee date. I've had too many bad experiences with meeting up for dinner and it turning out that there isn't any chemistry whatsoever.
__________________ Studies show 100% of people die.. Might as well have some fun.
I do spend over 25 per meal on reg basis if I'm going out for food. Be it lunch or dinner
Lool combo b cause it comes with spring rolls
Might as well take Ur gf to Honolulu if she wants pasta because baked spaghetti for under 8 bucks and it comes with a drink!
I mean, sure I can eat $25 per meal. Go to swiss chalet, order chicken and ribs with a drink, easily close to $30. The point is, why? When I can spend 1/3 and still be as full and satisfied?
If you're talking about a girlfriend, that's a different story. I'm talking about dates with a girls you just met. If an expensive dinner is a "must" to get to know each other, then I'll pass, even if that chick is 10/10.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiger_handheld
Damn! where do I get this combo B?
On topic: Took out a girl once for a first date (first meet up) and she wanted to be "impressed"... should've ran away right there..but hindsight is 20/20. Planned out this whole elaborate date with a special menu request to the Ebisu boss, bowling, flowers, dessert. Cost about $200 excluding parking. Had a good time planning it. She had a great time. Date #2 took her to Red Robins for burgers... Date #3 I told her she would have to "impress" me... still waiting... it's been more than a year.
Moral of the story is: Keep it basic as a blonde chick.
Again this goes back to the whole "never settle, i'm a princess and need to be treated like one" bs.
Mui Ngo Gai on kingsway across from the esso. Take two steps east, you will see another vietnamese restaurant called Truong Thanh, also has a combo but instead of a drink, they give you soup and $1 cheaper.
Ebisu will rob your wallet straight up. I despise eating there with all my guts. One mango sushi or w/e is called, is nearly $20 for 8 pieces. Fucking, I can go to a mediocre Japanese restaurant, order a bento box for $11, I get teriyaki chicken on rice, 4 cali rolls, 1 ebi roll, 1 tuna roll, side of salad and a fucking miso soup.
Anyways, getting back on topic. For the people who are trying online dating, there is a swarm of girls who are on the hunt for dinner dates and have no intention in actually being in a relationship. So beware and choose your first several dates wisely.
It was hard for me to meet good women when I moved to Vancouver over 5 years ago. I didn't have any family or friends here so I was literally starting from scratch. I've had the most success meeting women from Match.com to be honest. My last 3 relationships which all lasted 1-2 years came from meeting someone there. Honestly, it did grow frustrating at times as I'm a very career driven person and have little time, patience or energy to go out in search of meeting a woman of substance in the plethora of trash out there when it gets dark. There were certainly gaps where match seemed like a waste of time but I've had the most success meeting good women who encompass old school values and have their shit together. As far as online recommendations take some time to think about what you write...it's way more important than you think. Women respond to authenticity and you'd be surprised how many (real women) don't give a fuck about money. Class, intellect, manners and confidence have nothing to do with money and if you make a woman laugh, smile and feel sexy she'll justify many other shortcomings that you as a person may feel insecure about.
After that I'd say your next best bet is to hang out with more of your friends who are in relationships and generally heading in the same direction as you in life. Even though it grows frustrating hang out with couples as the only one single, you'll increase the chances of meeting another single woman who tags along with her girlfriend as everyone goes out to celebrate the arbitrary birthday, anniversary, house warming et al.
Surround yourself with like minded people and you'll have a better chance at meeting that one. Life isn't always fair and you just have to deal with it: meaning there' no guarantee...so don't get frustrated. I've found it best to focus on your life and what makes you happy and keeps you balanced. The happier and more confident (not read as cocky) you are the more it will rub off on others and people will naturally gravitate toward you. You be you, and really give that some thought. Be honest with yourself as well, what are you shortcomings if you're being real and how can you improve them? The rest will fall into place with time.
Talked to a girl for 2-3 days before setting up a meet and greet (couple beers to talk, and if we can withstand each other, I'll set up a date). Talked to her first on Thursday morning, met on Saturday night. All was going swell until she told me that in the past she's eaten her pets after they've died as its a way for her to be closer to them.
I finished my beer, grabbed the bill, and took off.
With my luck, one day I'd come home only to not be greeted by my dogs, and to find her cooking some shitty smelling stew in a kitchen.
Talked to a girl for 2-3 days before setting up a meet and greet (couple beers to talk, and if we can withstand each other, I'll set up a date). Talked to her first on Thursday morning, met on Saturday night. All was going swell until she told me that in the past she's eaten her pets after they've died as its a way for her to be closer to them.
I finished my beer, grabbed the bill, and took off.
With my luck, one day I'd come home only to not be greeted by my dogs, and to find her cooking some shitty smelling stew in a kitchen.
sums up plentyoffish quite well
Couple questions.
-What kind of pets did she have?
-Whats her nationality?
Talked to a girl for 2-3 days before setting up a meet and greet (couple beers to talk, and if we can withstand each other, I'll set up a date). Talked to her first on Thursday morning, met on Saturday night. All was going swell until she told me that in the past she's eaten her pets after they've died as its a way for her to be closer to them.
I finished my beer, grabbed the bill, and took off.
With my luck, one day I'd come home only to not be greeted by my dogs, and to find her cooking some shitty smelling stew in a kitchen.
General rule of thumb: if there's chemistry between 2 people, it should be evident by the 2nd or 3rd date. You shouldn't even have to take someone out on a "date" by the 3rd meeting - you should be cleaning your apartment/house, making sure your streaming device works, and getting a decent bottle of wine for a night of "Netflix and chill" (e.g. make sure your condoms aren't expired).
Coffee is fine for a first meeting, but so is getting a glass of wine at some chain restaurant/bar/whatever. A meal on the 2nd or 3rd is always good too, but you don't have to break the bank. There are so many restaurants in Vancouver to choose from. Heck, you could always go for brunch and then go for a walk or whatever afterward. If you play your cards right, that brunch could turn into dinner and Netflix and chill.
ORRR it could be her clever way of telling you she wasn't interested in you and wanted to leave.
I could only hope so. My friends have been joking about this since Sunday. I honestly wish it wasn't true, but fuck it...meeting another gal tomorrow night!
General rule of thumb: if there's chemistry between 2 people, it should be evident by the 2nd or 3rd date.
I agree with this a lot. However, we can't even get people to read someone's online profile let alone going on 3 dates.
I've seen people walk out after coffee because he/she don't seen any chemistry. Guess some people just know there will never ever be chemistry and might as well cut losses? I have to respect that.
I've always been the type to give it 3-4 dates. Smart ones know they will be in friend zoned and you know what, I've been setup on multiple dates which turned out to be great referrals, great lays and great gfs because of that one chick who I have no chemistry with.