Does anyone else ever feel sad as hell?

[Badhobz]

MG1 your story breaks my heart. Im so sorry your wife passed man. My deepest condolences for your loss.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

Originally Posted by SkinnyPupp

I remember when you used to post a lot

I’m 95% sure that was another marco911. Without the period.

[!LittleDragon]

You need hobbies to take your mind off things... Try something new... when I get burnt out, I do wood working... I started doing that 2 years ago?

I have a habit of turning hobbies into things I stress out about. I loved computers/technology but I've turned that into a career. When I get home, I hardly ever want to turn on my computer. Up until recently, home computer was a Pentium D 945.

My next hobby was just driving around but North Shore traffic over the past 10 years has gotten really bad. I never want to go out now after I get home.

After that, my hobby was the stock market. Initially it was fun, made a couple hundred here and there but now that there's a decent amount of cash in the trading account, it's turned into another point of stress.

That's when I turned to woodworking. Just build something fun and challenging. I try to build something once a year, I would hunker in the garage/basement for a few days/weeks. No phone, no computers... just wood, beer, GnR and my vape... What's even more challenging, I don't have any actual wood working tools... I made these with a Dremel rotary/Saw Max and a hammer...

Doesn't really solve my problems but it'll at least get my mind off them...

[MG1]

More than hobbies, if you have money, try philantrophy. Not just throw money at something, but rather get involved. Volunteer at the women's shelter, for example. Women who are battered, beaten, and thrown out onto the streets with little to no support. Bring cheer to others who are in need - giving light at the end of the tunnel. There's nothing like the feeling of making a positive difference in other people's lives. Do it with your wife's help. Together.

I'm not sure if she's cut out for it and it's just a suggestion. I've never been rich and have no idea how it is like, but there's some focus for you. Continue with your business and donate part or all of the profits to help others less fortunate. You then have a real good reason to make money.

Bill and Melinda Gates comes to mind.

https://www.gatesfoundation.org

[MG1]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

MG1 your story breaks my heart. Im so sorry your wife passed man. My deepest condolences for your loss.

Thank you, friend.

She was all I had. She was a wonderful lady who helped others out whenever and whenever she could. She changed me so much - made me see past myself. She was good with kids. I remember the time we took a trip to LA to see her uncle before she passed away. We were at that famous beach (cannot remember the name of it) on the Californian coast where this little kid was at the sand pit all by himself with no parent in sight. My wife took the time to be with that toddler and played with him until the mother found him. He probably had more fun that day than any other. Just one of the thousand things she did without prompting. It started rubbing off on me and I am such a better person, thanks to her.

It's been over two and a half years since she left us, but everywhere I go, I am reminded of her. They say you never get over it. To be honest, I never want to. I have a piece of her with me all the time. A mini urn that is with me all the time.

Everytime I'm about to do something dumb, I swear, I feel that urn warning/alerting me.

Anyway......................

[GS8]

The meaning of life fundamentally changed for me when I started living for others over myself.

[AzNightmare]

Originally Posted by Marco.911

Wow. Thanks everyone for your comments. I’m really grateful for them.

I think some of it stems from my wanting to provide a great life for my wife. She’s always been there for me and when her friends get to go to this trip or that trip my wife sort of gets left out.

We have a great lifestyle and she deserves it. I guess I want to be better for her and also for my friends as well. I also agree with the comments above about balance or maybe letting go of everything.

I'm currently on vacation with my wife. She said the best part of being on vacation isn't necessarily where I go but that I'm stuck with her for the whole trip and I'm not either away at work or in the garage working on the car or playing hockey, etc.

My balance of life isn't all that great, but it's partially cause I enjoy work and some of my close friends have now become my coworkers. It makes it easier and maybe even "fun" to pull in long hours and the money is not bad.

Anyhow, I watched the movie "the greatest showman" just yesterday. And it was interesting. The character was incredibly ambitious and hustled hard, eventually becoming super rich. But his focus was so busy making it big that he forgot about his wife and family. He said he was doing all this for the wife but she said something along the lines of "l've aleady have everything I need because I have you". In reality he was just doing it all for himself to feed some insecurity.

[roopi]

MG1 thanks for the post. With the information/feelings you shared it will really make people think. It made me for sure. My condolences.

[blkgsr]

i am also finding unhappiness in life but i think for different reasons

- after travelling much of the world and having that constant changing excitement, i find being stuck at home and working extremely unfulfilling
- i "hate" my job, it pays well (the only reason i still do it) but it's very stressful (mainly because i actually care about doing a good job). some days i love it, but overall i think i just make myself hate it even more. i very much try to stick to a 8.5 hour day but normally it's more like 9-10. salary
- vancouver is soul sucking black hole. the people here for the most part are terrible, we have high costs for everything and all we get for it is some mountains to look at. sure there's lots of things to do around here but they are 100% outside based. I ski, golf etc,
- if i hadn't bought my house 8 years ago I 100% would not stay here. how people can spend such a large portion of their income on rent/mortage is unreal
- i want to "live my life". i'm trying to convince my wife to move to SE asia (thailand/bali) so we can be immersed in the experience. shes "ok" with it but wants a plan for how we're going to survive lol. plus she loves her job and doesn't want to move away from family.

there's a lot more to it but that's a basic overview.

[Ludepower]

Can't stress enough about goin to the gym 4x a week. There should be no excuse if you care about your health.
Besides looking and feeling great. It'll clear your mind from all the tension.

[MG1]

Also, Tai Chi and other forms of martial arts where they teach you balance, harmony, and inner peace.

[welfare]

Originally Posted by snake

Talk to your doctor. Mine gave me Citalopram. Worked for me. And watch Happy Netflix.

Alcohol and illegal drugs only makes things worse.

just curious, when you talked to your doctor, did they suggest any ulterior methods prior? like changing work schedule, exercise, diet, etc.?

i guess asking anyone whose received treatment/prescription for psychological medication.

[R. Mutt]

Originally Posted by Ludepower

Can't stress enough about goin to the gym 4x a week. There should be no excuse if you care about your health.
Besides looking and feeling great. It'll clear your mind from all the tension.

That’s a solid point. About 10 years ago, just after graduating university when I lived in Brooklyn, New York: I was broke, job hunting but had all the time in the world. I remember I was getting over a bad break up too.

I took the time to read more, work out at home doing push-ups and sit-ups as well as eating clean. I’m not a gym person, never have and likely never will be. I prefer sports as i’m very competitive. Nonetheless, after about three months I was like a different person. The improvements inside started to be reflected on the exterior.

Time passes and priorities change, financial success often come at the price of time and your health. I love my line of work but it pretty much rules my life now and even though I make a solid six figure income in my mid 30s I can say that overall I’m not as happy as I was then. I don’t exercise or eat clean and I think that’s the next change I need to get back to.

One thing I remember is how hard it was at first but it was all about momentum. Once I started making it a daily regiment and it got easier it became twice a day and results often motivate us to push further.

I think life is a constant evolution of yourself (maybe that’s why I love evo’s so much ) . There will always be hills and valleys but you take them in stride as they come. I try to remind myself that the sweet isn’t as sweet without the sour.

[subordinate]

This thread has made me more sad.

Life is full of ups and downs. And agreed as other posters have said, exercise helps alot.

[$_$]

Older RS members coming out talking about the trials and tribulations that we've encountered while figuring out life - damn, getting fucking old man

[$_$]

Originally Posted by blkgsr

i am also finding unhappiness in life but i think for different reasons

- i want to "live my life". i'm trying to convince my wife to move to SE asia (thailand/bali) so we can be immersed in the experience. shes "ok" with it but wants a plan for how we're going to survive lol. plus she loves her job and doesn't want to move away from family.

there's a lot more to it but that's a basic overview.

This is one of the top things that "i want to do" after i've "made it/FI". But I also wonder, how quickly beach bum living might get.

[twitchyzero]

had the most toxic client today in years...totally dragged the rest of my day down
went chasing endorphins after work at the gym, then vent off a bit to my close ones

blkgsr, that sounds amazing, do you have kids though? what about aging parents?

[blkgsr]

no kids

again parent is always a thing, but how long are you going to wait? until they pass away?? then how old will you be? i want to get there now while we're still relatively young (33/29) and don't care too much about living conditions or roughing it a little bit.

do i want to live there forever? probably not, i'd rather live back here again when medical issue might start creeping up, but i sure don't see myself living the beach bum life at 50/60, more the retired luxury beach life if anything

[Badhobz]

Originally Posted by subordinate

This thread has made me more sad.

Life is full of ups and downs. And agreed as other posters have said, exercise helps alot.

No bro, you're still living the good life. If I could turn back time, id be right next to you riding the high rails again.

I miss slicing geese up in lynn creek and spotting jri / cargill.

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

I miss slicing geese up in lynn creek and spotting jri / cargill.

Am I reading this right? Or am I too many beers to be on revscene?

[Badhobz]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Am I reading this right? Or am I too many beers to be on revscene?

hahah sorry man, just a railroader's term. We ran over so many of those fat ass geese along the tracks on the northshore.

it's amazing how surgical a train can be vs a flock of geese. Hence "slicing". One of those fat fucks pegged me in the head trying to take off one time. Hilarious!

[twitchyzero]

Originally Posted by blkgsr

no kids

again parent is always a thing, but how long are you going to wait? until they pass away?? then how old will you be? i want to get there now while we're still relatively young (33/29) and don't care too much about living conditions or roughing it a little bit.

do i want to live there forever? probably not, i'd rather live back here again when medical issue might start creeping up, but i sure don't see myself living the beach bum life at 50/60, more the retired luxury beach life if anything

I can't see myself away for more than a year unless school or one of a kind job position

[geeknerd]

nope. too busy and too driven to feel sad. On some days I do wonder if I am going the right path and maybe realize I've wasted years but I think thats just me getting impatient, got to keep grinding to get to where I want.

[subordinate]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

No bro, you're still living the good life. If I could turn back time, id be right next to you riding the high rails again.

I miss slicing geese up in lynn creek and spotting jri / cargill.

Lol, I always tried to slow down for them.

Hmmm, summers are the best though.

[blkgsr]

Originally Posted by twitchyzero

I can't see myself away for more than a year unless school or one of a kind job position

then do it. best move you'll ever make.