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Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Vancouver LifeStyles (VLS) > Relationship & Gender Discussion

The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 02-21-2009, 07:27 PM   #1
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[Confidential] Am I an asshole?

The following is a submission from an Anonymous Revscene member. If the original poster would like to reply to this thread feel free to message me privately

I'm 26 and gf is 25 now. Well 2 years ago she got pregnant even though she was on the pill so we decided to abort and it was horrible seeing her suffer and all but I took care of her until she felt better. But it made me feel like shit that it happened so I kept my distance and told her we shouldn't be together because I always feel like I hurt her. She made a huge deal out of it and said that I wanted out because I didn't love her but really it was just because I'm too weak to face her. Was that a wrong move? So took some time off but either way we ended up back together.

Fast forward to 1 year ago, fuck my life got her pregnant again even though we used spermicide and the pill. But this time she decided to keep the baby so we did. The sex started to fall apart because she was always feeling sick and tired and she gained a lot of weight. I ended up sleeping with someone else while she was 3 months pregnant because I haven't been getting any for 3 months. It was purely physical, I still love my gf as much as I did before. Well the baby is out now, and I'm still cheating because I'm simply just not getting any sex. My gf is making efforts to loose that weight but its not coming off and she looks like a wreck from all the stress it really turns me off.

I'm willing to marry my gf when I'm more ready for marriage but recently I've been thinking more. She tells me how grateful she is to have a faithful bf like me and it kills me every time I hear her say it. So finally I cut off the physical relationship and I'm thinking of maybe confessing what I did. I know she'll probably leave me when I cough it up so I've been holding back to not tell her.

So my questions are...was it justified at all to cheat because I wasn't getting any sex? Is there a way to confess and still keep my gf or should I just brush it under the rug forever? What do you think of me as a person (won't take any offense if you want to bash me, want honest opinions)?

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Old 02-21-2009, 07:32 PM   #2
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Cheating can never be justified.

A) You tell her, she dumps you. You're an asshole.
B) You don't tell her. You continue banging some bish on the side and try to justify it. You get married, etc. Who knows, maybe even after marriage you still have someone on the side. You're an asshole.
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Old 02-21-2009, 07:51 PM   #3
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don't tell her since the other girl left already and just stay faithful with the mother of your child- absolutely can't tell her or else it's over
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Old 02-21-2009, 07:52 PM   #4
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Wtf? That was the dumbest question ever. Of course cheating can never be justified.
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Old 02-21-2009, 08:23 PM   #5
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kill yourself
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Old 02-21-2009, 08:36 PM   #6
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You clearly don't love your girlfriend.
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Old 02-21-2009, 08:41 PM   #7
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You should just confess and let her pick. You chose to cheat so at least give her the choice to either stay or leave and let her decide what you deserve.
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:16 PM   #8
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kill yourself
+1 did you ever think to talk to her? Idiot. Kill yourself and do the world a favor. You're not even worth spitting on.
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:19 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Los Bastardo
So my questions are...was it justified at all to cheat because I wasn't getting any sex? Is there a way to confess and still keep my gf or should I just brush it under the rug forever? What do you think of me as a person (won't take any offense if you want to bash me, want honest opinions)?
you are the most selfish fuck and i hope your gf finds out and dumps your cheating ass. of course she's gonna be stressed. you 2 have a BABY. raising a child is probably the hardest thing a person will ever learn in their lifetime.

you do not love your gf the way you say you. if you did, you would love at her best and above all, at her worst.
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:26 PM   #10
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either way
you'll be an asshole
BUT if you tell her and she still accepts you.
then youre in luck
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:31 PM   #11
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Yep, you're an asshole. A huge one.
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:35 PM   #12
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Never post here, but you sir are an asshole. Period.
Marriage doesnt change anything, but rather, it increases your committment and responsiblities as a father and husband up one notch: Permanant.

You cant even stay faithful now, so dont bother promising something you cant keep. Your choices do not reflect a good friend, a partner, husband, or father. Your underlying tones give away that you are going to repeat your actions again and again.

Trinity is right...You do not love her and you do not know how to love. Read your post over, its all about sex. All about you, and what you want.

Your motive to marry her is guilt. If it is guilt that drives you to marry her, that guilt is because you disasppointed her. You are not sorry for the action of cheating itself. You enjoy it and you will cheat on her again when things dont go "your" way.

Wont go as far as "go kill yourself," but you sir have a lot to learn. You do not deserve a partner to spend life with. Dont ask for justification of actions when you already know its wrong to begin with. It wont make you feel any better.
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:44 PM   #13
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#1 - You're an idiot for getting her pregnant TWICE. Bag that shit you moron!

#2 - You are a piece of shit for cheating on her. Cheating can never be justified and I hope she finds out and dumps your ass and that your future relationships are full of women that cheat on your sorry ass.

Last edited by Ch28; 02-21-2009 at 09:52 PM.
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Old 02-21-2009, 10:32 PM   #14
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w0w you fucked up big time
shoot yourself with a large caliber gun

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Old 02-21-2009, 11:44 PM   #15
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learn some self control, and the truth is that you're ignorant and irresponsible
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Old 02-21-2009, 11:49 PM   #16
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You should get castrated.
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Old 02-21-2009, 11:57 PM   #17
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What a fucking asshole...I hope she finds out what a fucking douche you really are
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Old 02-21-2009, 11:57 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
You clearly don't love your girlfriend.
iasfm, you clearly don't.

but as much as i hate saying this, if you are positive you'll never cheat on her again (which seems highly impossible) then don't tell her because she might not want to know. what is important to her now might be having the comfort and support from the father of her baby. i'm saying this because a baby should have father and a mother.

you are the epitome of an asshole. i don't know how do you sleep at night and live knowing that you are you.
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Old 02-22-2009, 12:03 AM   #19
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1. yes you're an asshole
2. tell her, and please don't give her those lame ass excuses you gave us
3. go get another job instead of sleeping around.
4. if she don't leave with your child, u owe the world to her, well you owed the world to her the day she had an abortion.

good luck and do the right thing.
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Old 02-22-2009, 12:37 AM   #20
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You were a selfish asshole the first time round and an even bigger asshole the second.

So you've been cheating for 9 months? Is it with the same person? Looking at your history, I really hope you used protection seeing as how you managed to get your girlfriend pregnant twice even though you say she was on the pill (P.S. There's a strong chance she wasn't been taking it at regular daily intervals and you should have wrapped it up) The last thing you want to do is get another woman pregnant.

That being said, stop what you're doing. NOW. Exercise some self control for god sake. You're a father now. Take some responsibility and take care of your kid. Honestly, the last thing you should be concerned about is worrying about the next time you're going to get laid.
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Old 02-22-2009, 01:26 AM   #21
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you shouldn't have cheated in the first place.

but that you got a baby, just take care of the kid. Thats your #1 responsibility now.
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Old 02-22-2009, 09:28 AM   #22
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somehow, i think she went off the pill. I just can't see how you hit the 1% twice.

But either way, yup you're a dick.
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Old 02-22-2009, 10:19 AM   #23
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No girls want to be fat. It's not easy to give birth and raise a baby. You're supposed to be there to encourage and support her during these times.

You need to stop the cheating, and take care of her and the baby. You owe it to them.

The easy way out is to tell her the truth and end things. Be a man and don't do anything that's going to hurt her, again.
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Old 02-22-2009, 10:39 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by Gt-R R34 View Post
somehow, i think she went off the pill. I just can't see how you hit the 1% twice.

But either way, yup you're a dick.
no kidding.
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Old 02-22-2009, 11:44 AM   #25 has a homepage?!
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Yes, you're an asshole! Sorry...
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