DON'T EVER FALL IN LOVE GUYS!!!!

[RunningFree]

At the age of 13 and dating for 7 years... whether you like it or not, her priorities are going to change. What if what she wants to do for career is going to take her somewhere far? What if she realized that what she wants isn't a long term relationship right now. You guys are both really young and have your entire lives ahead of you. One relationship isn't the be all and end all of your existence.

Probably not what you want to hear... but at some point you'll come to 1 of 2 epiphanies:

1) You'll realize that the sun's still shining, you're alive, and you'll live your life.

2) You'll drown in despair and end up taking your own life. However... since you're asking other people to kill you, I doubt you have the courage to do it.

That being said, don't get angry reading this post. Most others here are thinking the same thing, and have told you similar things. I'm one of the only ones not to candy coat it: You can't have everything you want in life, so man up, re-attach your balls and push forward.

[miss_crayon]

Originally Posted by jbsali

wth are you talking about? ofcourse he doesnt have anyone to compare her too cause hes been in a 7 year relationship. who goes looking for seconds in a long-term relationship? then again, he did cheat

wth are YOU talking about? im not saying he should be looking for someone else when he was in his long term relatinship, but the fact that he's so STUCK on this girl now they are broken up he doesnt realize what he has ahead of him. he thinks she's the one when he hasn't even given the world a chance!

[threezero]

change is the only constant in this crazy world. Almost everybody in this world will eventually find their true love no matter if u are gay retarded, fat or a communist.

Who knows maybe in a few yrs she might come back to you as a more mature and better person.

Who knows maybe in a few ur you would fall in love with a guy and be sucking dicks.

Dunt try to understand every situation that why life is roller coaster. Go with the flow enjoy all the twist and bumps. A flat roller coaster like a flat girl is no fun at all.

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

wth are YOU talking about? im not saying he should be looking for someone else when he was in his long term relatinship, but the fact that he's so STUCK on this girl now they are broken up he doesnt realize what he has ahead of him. he thinks she's the one when he hasn't even given the world a chance!

then why the fuck would you be in a 7 year relationship if this girl isnt the one? sounds like a waste of time. anyone else would think the same if they were with someone that long. i'm sure people don't date people for 5 years+ if they don't think they are marriage material. you can EXPLORE the world or w.e you want to call it but in the end people don't date chicks for 5+ years if they aint marriage material. otherwise ur hurting the other person in the long run

[miss_crayon]

they started dating when they were 13 and throughout highschool when the both of them were completely unaware of how large this world actually is. you can't possibly base one relationship into forever when the both of them never experienced what life has to offer after highschool. a career, financing, REAL LIFE comes into play when you're an adult. things aren't always going to be highschool for the rest of their lives. how they dealt with things before will not be the same coming up for the next 50 years. all these contribute to a long lasting relationship when dealing with "the one."

and actually, a lot of people can date someone for years and realize they aren't marriage material in the end. obviously this girl thought so or else she wouldn't have broken his heart after this long. just because one person thinks it'll work out, doesn't mean the other one will follow.

that's the truth behind relationships. it doesn't matter if they have been going out for 5 months, 1 year, 4 years, 45 fucking years. if the feeling is gone, the feeling is GONE. why do you think divorce happens?

[RunningFree]

Originally Posted by jbsali

then why the fuck would you be in a 7 year relationship if this girl isnt the one? sounds like a waste of time. anyone else would think the same if they were with someone that long. i'm sure people don't date people for 5 years+ if they don't think they are marriage material. you can EXPLORE the world or w.e you want to call it but in the end people don't date chicks for 5+ years if they aint marriage material. otherwise ur hurting the other person in the long run

You're on a pretty high horse if you think that you can assume that they have the experience and wisdom to know what marriage material is based on an arbitrary number. Especially at the ripe old age of 13-20.

[liu13]

Originally Posted by RunningFree

You're on a pretty high horse if you think that you can assume that they have the experience and wisdom to know what marriage material is based on an arbitrary number. Especially at the ripe old age of 13-20.

+1, ppl in their 20s dont even know what they really look for

i cant believe this thread lasted 3 pages

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by RunningFree

You're on a pretty high horse if you think that you can assume that they have the experience and wisdom to know what marriage material is based on an arbitrary number. Especially at the ripe old age of 13-20.

i've seen people that get married from 6months-4years... thats not enough in my opinion. i know quite a few highschool-sweetheart couples that get married and things work out. when u think about it, it stricts you from getting married until ur finished univ. (4-8years) so it gives u time to reallly get to know eachother. the divorce rate is 50%. 80% of couples get married within 4years of knowing each other. if ur in a long term relationship looking for the one... cool. if your looking for a long term relationship just for fun.. GTFO. end of story lol

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by liu13

+1, ppl in their 20s dont even know what they really look for

i cant believe this thread lasted 3 pages

i can't believe its lasted this long either lol.

i've known my gf for prob about 7 years and weve dated for 6. were both in univ now and things are still great. we have our differences but we share a ton of things in common. call me crazy but i think i've got a great relationship. her parents love me. hers like mine. i'm white and shes asian. i'm happy, she's happy. if were still together 3 years from now i'll marry her. thats almost 10 years... if thats not enough time.. i don't know what is

[Culture_Vulture]

Originally Posted by liu13

+1, ppl in their 20s dont even know what they really look for

i cant believe this thread lasted 3 pages

That's the flow of the discussion, meaning everybody can bring their thoughts to the table. There have been a number of insightful replies so far, so I wouldn't be surprised if this thread goes for another three pages.

Originally Posted by jbsali

then why the fuck would you be in a 7 year relationship if this girl isnt the one? sounds like a waste of time. anyone else would think the same if they were with someone that long. i'm sure people don't date people for 5 years+ if they don't think they are marriage material. you can EXPLORE the world or w.e you want to call it but in the end people don't date chicks for 5+ years if they aint marriage material. otherwise ur hurting the other person in the long run

And you're sure of this because all people who date for five years, regardless of age have gotten married?
You'd have to be pretty unacquainted with the moving society if you think five years of your life will guarantee you a (happy) marriage. We aren't living in the 1300's anymore, so to think that a thirteen year-old (a twenty three year-old even) has even remotely given marriage a serious thought makes you benighted.

-Physixx

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by Physixx

That's the flow of the discussion, meaning everybody can bring their thoughts to the table. There have been a number of insightful replies so far, so I wouldn't be surprised if this thread goes for another three pages.



And you're sure of this because all people who date for five years, regardless of age have gotten married?
You'd have to be pretty unacquainted with the moving society if you think five years of your life will guarantee you a (happy) marriage. We aren't living in the 1300's anymore, so to think that a thirteen year-old (a twenty three year-old even) has even remotely given marriage a serious thought makes you benighted.

-Physixx

the thing is, girls want to know that they are loved and that they mean something. for example. what the fuck would happen if she asked her bf if she was marriage material and he says "i dont know" or "no". hes got a riot on his hands. i totally agree that 5 years isnt enough! by all means! thats why i'm willing to do another 3-4 years on top of my 6 with my gf.. if we make it we make it. if we dont.. well we dont. i'm not the guy thats gunna rush into it and tie the knot. i know this girl is something very special too me and i think she is the one. but just to make sure, im gunna wait another 3-4 years.

i'm not saying that 5 years guarantees a happy marriage. no one can really tell. i'm just saying i know ppl around my age, a majority are older (10 years older) that married their high-school sweet heart. not all were married right after highschool. some took another 1-4 years.

as for 13-23year olds thinking about marriage, it all depends on the person. some parents paint the perfect image of their sons/daughters partner. some dont care. some will push it asap, some say wait. i agree that everyone needs experience and u prob will never marry ur first crush/love/gf/bf. it happens...rarely. but ive dated my fair share of girls. do i regret being w/ my gf cause i missed out on picking chicks up at clubs, etc. NOPE.

when you think about it... whose really "the one" no matter how old you are. the divorce rate is so high its disgusting.

i'm not trying to bitch or anything like that so dont take me wrong. all im saying is my opinion is my opinion. facts are facts. and what my gf and i do in the future is up to me and her, not you guys. i would expect everyone be the same. honestly the only people that should be allowed (if anyone) to judge ur partner are ur parents. honestly, who knows you better?


this guys relationship didnt work out cause him and his gf werent for eachother. like cmon they cheated on eachother. if they work through there differences and learn to forgive... well thats up to them. i'm not one to judge others relationships just my own. although everyone does have their own opinion. and if you post it online.. people can say what ever they want lol!

[RunningFree]

They dated from the age of 13-20. From pre-teen to legal adult, there's no way that they're going to grow up the same and have the same life visions, goals, beliefs, opinions, etc. If they did, it would be a stroke of luck, or they're fooling themselves.

He's basing his life around her, in the "it doesn't matter as long as we're together" kind of love, which for most people is unrealistic and juvenile. She wants to experience life and can't do that chained to someone else.

He needs to grasp that, so he can get over it. Until he does, he's stuck and no amount of pity and consoling is going to help unless he comes to terms with himself.

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by RunningFree

They dated from the age of 13-20. From pre-teen to legal adult, there's no way that they're going to grow up the same and have the same life visions, goals, beliefs, opinions, etc. If they did, it would be a stroke of luck, or they're fooling themselves.

He's basing his life around her, in the "it doesn't matter as long as we're together" kind of love, which for most people is unrealistic and juvenile. She wants to experience life and can't do that chained to someone else.

He needs to grasp that, so he can get over it. Until he does, he's stuck and no amount of pity and consoling is going to help unless he comes to terms with himself.

ahh, i disagree. Its hard to believe but my gf an i do share the same beliefs (christanity). i was a christian but not a practising one. i went to her church a bit and have no problem with it. we both have the same life goals. opinions differ.. some are shared minor ones are not. like i hate dane cook but she likes him. i like the comedian demetri martin, she does too. Its not that hard although beliefs and goals are usually different. i consider myself lucky to have my gf.

AS FOR HIS CASE: your last two paragraphs are SPOT ON! no joke.

[6insomnia9]

Fuck relationships, I got a black heart all i can do is bang bang bang.
Feelings? Nope, that is for the weak.

[miss_crayon]

Originally Posted by jbsali

thats why i'm willing to do another 3-4 years on top of my 6 with my gf..

as for 13-23year olds thinking about marriage, it all depends on the person. some parents paint the perfect image of their sons/daughters partner. some dont care. some will push it asap, some say wait. i agree that everyone needs experience and u prob will never marry ur first crush/love/gf/bf. it happens...rarely. but ive dated my fair share of girls. do i regret being w/ my gf cause i missed out on picking chicks up at clubs, etc. NOPE.

oh wow! profile says you're an 89er. did you start dating when you were 10 then? assuming you went out with your current gf when you were 14. this is a serious question.

Originally Posted by jbsali

ahh, i disagree. Its hard to believe but my gf an i do share the same beliefs (christanity). i was a christian but not a practising one. i went to her church a bit and have no problem with it. we both have the same life goals. opinions differ.. some are shared minor ones are not. like i hate dane cook but she likes him. i like the comedian demetri martin, she does too. Its not that hard although beliefs and goals are usually different. i consider myself lucky to have my gf.

AS FOR HIS CASE: your last two paragraphs are SPOT ON! no joke.

the relationship you have is probably one in a million. so to disagree, you can only speak on your behalf and your gf as not everyone is going to find it easy to find someone who feels the same or similar with real life issues. people can grow up and be in a relationship together (like OP) but at the end (obviously) believe in something totally different. hence `growing up`` it is not uncommon and i agree with everything runningfree said in the first paragraph.

plus, i would be envious if the only example you could come up with (the differences you both have) are dane cook and demetri martin.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

The measure of how great a relationship is not the duration of how long it lasted.





I'm sure you can find plenty of miserable people that have been together in a miserable relationship for 10+ years. probably 20+ years. hell even 30+ years.

I'm willing to bet you can find plenty of people that are married, or are currently not single, and will proudly admit to a previous relationship that was shorter, and much better.

and one more thing, age is not just an arbitrary number. think of how much you've changed since 13-22. now think of how much you've changed from 22-27 (for those of you who are that old), and for those who are 30+ well, lets just say i've met a buncha people that say the 30's has been the best time of their life. now think of how much you will learn and experience in the next 10 years, next 20 years? next 30 years?

the world is a big place, yet tiny. from now until you die may seem like a very long time, but at the same time, when you're 90 and laying in your deathbed, your whole life will have seemed like it passed within a blink of an eye.

just make the most of what you have, and don't regret it, even if you fail. having tried and failed at anything is better than not having tried at all and regretting it.

[saucywoman]

^^ wow ulic I am IMPRESSED lol

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

oh wow! profile says you're an 89er. did you start dating when you were 10 then? assuming you went out with your current gf when you were 14. this is a serious question.

i was in gr9... so im guessing 13 or 14? why are you creeping my profile? lol jk

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

the relationship you have is probably one in a million. so to disagree, you can only speak on your behalf and your gf as not everyone is going to find it easy to find someone who feels the same or similar with real life issues. people can grow up and be in a relationship together (like OP) but at the end (obviously) believe in something totally different. hence `growing up`` it is not uncommon and i agree with everything runningfree said in the first paragraph.

plus, i would be envious if the only example you could come up with (the differences you both have) are dane cook and demetri martin.

hey thats a big issue^ that bastard dane cook has stolen demetri martins jokes! DEMETRI MARTIN FTW! but honestly its that and maybe a few cars and food. we share a lot in common which is a bonus. ...plus it was just an example. i'm not going to list every damn thing and make this thread another 2 pages. lol

i almost fully agree with your first paragraph. I do consider myself lucky to have what i have. i just thought it was more common seeing i have friends that have married their high-school-sweet-heart. i would say out of the 6, 5 worked out and 1 ended up in divorce, which honestly is a shock. Its true that when you do "grow-up" people go through a lot of personality, belief, etc changes. I also agree that i can only speak on behalf of myself and my gf because thats MY relationship. thats the same right everyone else has. but when you post it online, your targeting everyone for their opinion. not only that but when the OP tells everyone that he cheated on his gf, and she cheated on him and he still thinks shes the one... doesnt a red light go off in everyones head? WE ALL KNOW that this relationship has a very slim chance of working out... but thats up to them. whether he takes my opinion is up to him...

[xh3atyx]

Ya i may have started dating when i was young and really nothing matter at that time cause all we had to do was go to school and home and shit like that. As time comes we have more to consider and to worry about, for examples work, money, career, family shit like that. To me its not really about the whole 7 years that we went out but in that time we went through awhole lot and just did things as two i guess. We both didnt really like to party crazy well i did some nights but she doesn't. We both hate clubbing and doing drugs and shit like that but i think that has changed now for her. Ive done a lot of thinking and some deep bullshit and emo shit and i have gotten a lot of help from all you guys, thanks so much each and everyone if you guys really helped me in different ways. I may never know maybe one day we will go out again or maybe one day ill find "the one" but untill then i guess i just gotta live. Life is never perfect and its never happy, well not all the time so ya i hope this shitty feeling i have will go away soon and i can just be myself but untill then all i can do is feel like shit and not wanting to do anything at all.

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by xh3atyx

Ya i may have started dating when i was young and really nothing matter at that time cause all we had to do was go to school and home and shit like that. As time comes we have more to consider and to worry about, for examples work, money, career, family shit like that. To me its not really about the whole 7 years that we went out but in that time we went through awhole lot and just did things as two i guess. We both didnt really like to party crazy well i did some nights but she doesn't. We both hate clubbing and doing drugs and shit like that but i think that has changed now for her. Ive done a lot of thinking and some deep bullshit and emo shit and i have gotten a lot of help from all you guys, thanks so much each and everyone if you guys really helped me in different ways. I may never know maybe one day we will go out again or maybe one day ill find "the one" but untill then i guess i just gotta live. Life is never perfect and its never happy, well not all the time so ya i hope this shitty feeling i have will go away soon and i can just be myself but untill then all i can do is feel like shit and not wanting to do anything at all.

yeah i agree w/ what ur saying. u were just in school and it was nothing but as you grow u start to think of a career, money and family. i too dont like the club scene. my gf shares the same opinions about it and she too doesnt club much. we both dont do any form of drugs and we both are against smoking..even though our parents both smoke. the big game changer for you was when u both had to grow up. you both prob had different career ideas and family ideas and thats probably where u didnt click. my gf was in business and i noticed that she love english and science. i asked her why not be a teacher? now shes changing her whole career path to teach. its a matter of really knowing that person and making sure that they live up to their full potential. the only reason she was taking business is cause i was interested in it and i dont go for shit like that. its almost the same as taking courses in highschool just cause ur friends are in it.

to be honest i think it was probably best for both of you. its not my right to judge but i do have my own opinion. if ur out of highschool and in univ. you'll most likely find someone there. just keep looking and stay positive and one day you'll find that person. keep yourself occupied. hit clubs and strip joints and party w/ friends. travel and just enjoy ur summer. and for fuck sakes dont take tips from "keys to the VIP" that show is so fucking stupid. lol

GL

[RunningFree]

Originally Posted by xh3atyx

Ya i may have started dating when i was young and really nothing matter at that time cause all we had to do was go to school and home and shit like that. As time comes we have more to consider and to worry about, for examples work, money, career, family shit like that. To me its not really about the whole 7 years that we went out but in that time we went through awhole lot and just did things as two i guess. We both didnt really like to party crazy well i did some nights but she doesn't. We both hate clubbing and doing drugs and shit like that but i think that has changed now for her. Ive done a lot of thinking and some deep bullshit and emo shit and i have gotten a lot of help from all you guys, thanks so much each and everyone if you guys really helped me in different ways. I may never know maybe one day we will go out again or maybe one day ill find "the one" but untill then i guess i just gotta live. Life is never perfect and its never happy, well not all the time so ya i hope this shitty feeling i have will go away soon and i can just be myself but untill then all i can do is feel like shit and not wanting to do anything at all.

That's the spirit. Go to college or uni and meet some new girls. You'll meet a lot of them... as long as you aren't some sad emo kid or are socially awkward. Good luck!

[orange7]

Originally Posted by [o_o]

o_o

Originally Posted by hotjoint

.

Originally Posted by rslater

i still don't get it

[xh3atyx]

Thing is that i was so attached that i honeslty thought i was going to marry her like it was a done deal i was staying with her forever. I never finished highschool and i never had a job well not longer than 3 months lol. I remember i would just quit my job just because i wanted to be with her. There were times that we skiped so we can chill just the two of us. But no matter what we did things always worked out. Now if i do anything i gotta start back at grade 9 and get some experiences. I have never imporved myself or changed anything of myself cause i didnt need to, i didn't grow. Things like moving out and money wise wasn't a problem cause we had it. Well she always worked and I had money else where but ya. I have never thought about myself, everything i thought about like job furture etc it was always for us never just for me. I honeslty dont even know what i want anymore. I wanted to make money to support her and our family. Just everything i had plan to do was for us now everything has changed and i honestly dont even know myself anymore. She was my other half and now im lost in the world. I know i need to get back up on my feet but before i do any of that i really just need to get over her cause i dont have the feeling or just anything to do something. I dont care if i never get a job and starve and shit but ya im not goona starve but you know what im talking about my career and stuff. Cause i have nothing to work towards or for, besides myself i dont care about me, i cared about us. Theres like a brick wall thats blocking me and before i break it apart im going nowhere. If one day she needed my heart or something or any organs so she can live, without any thought it would be done. But ya guys and girls this is my love life, well its more like my life hahaha, i did nothing without her and ya its all gone. Next time when u see a guy walking or driving and hes only half thats me. But ya the truth is to some or all you may think or think you know that i dont know what love is because i went out with this girl at such a young age and im still young but i know deep down that i have fallin in love and i am still in love.

[3xta]

heaty.... i know the pain you're going through, and im not going to sugar coat this, but its going to stay with you for a while, probably quite a long time, until one day you realize that staying at home dwelling over this bullshit is never going to get you anywhere you will stand up and go out and do your best again. You left school early at a young age, to do whatever you were doing. Well since you said you have nothing to look forward to, or to work for, look forward to this. Improving on your mistakes, working on what you want to do in the future for the next girl.

[jbsali]

Originally Posted by xh3atyx

Thing is that i was so attached that i honeslty thought i was going to marry her like it was a done deal i was staying with her forever. I never finished highschool and i never had a job well not longer than 3 months lol. I remember i would just quit my job just because i wanted to be with her. There were times that we skiped so we can chill just the two of us. But no matter what we did things always worked out. Now if i do anything i gotta start back at grade 9 and get some experiences. I have never imporved myself or changed anything of myself cause i didnt need to, i didn't grow. Things like moving out and money wise wasn't a problem cause we had it. Well she always worked and I had money else where but ya. I have never thought about myself, everything i thought about like job furture etc it was always for us never just for me. I honeslty dont even know what i want anymore. I wanted to make money to support her and our family. Just everything i had plan to do was for us now everything has changed and i honestly dont even know myself anymore. She was my other half and now im lost in the world. I know i need to get back up on my feet but before i do any of that i really just need to get over her cause i dont have the feeling or just anything to do something. I dont care if i never get a job and starve and shit but ya im not goona starve but you know what im talking about my career and stuff. Cause i have nothing to work towards or for, besides myself i dont care about me, i cared about us. Theres like a brick wall thats blocking me and before i break it apart im going nowhere. If one day she needed my heart or something or any organs so she can live, without any thought it would be done. But ya guys and girls this is my love life, well its more like my life hahaha, i did nothing without her and ya its all gone. Next time when u see a guy walking or driving and hes only half thats me. But ya the truth is to some or all you may think or think you know that i dont know what love is because i went out with this girl at such a young age and im still young but i know deep down that i have fallin in love and i am still in love.

im not trying to be rude but after everything you've said, you seem very unstable. you seem like the kind of guy that lives day to day, pay check to pay check. You talk about quiting jobs to spend time with her. Its just so odd. You should have been getting all the jobs you could to boost your resume and get a post secondary education. I had a friend who was very similar to you (from what youve written). i found that over-time my friend was too obsessive over his gf. hed call her every night. talk for the sake of talking, drop anything to spend time with her. he quit his job to spend more time with her even though he was already seeing her 2-3 times a week. TBH, i think she might have left cause you were to obsessed and she was looking for someone with longterm goals and a man who is stable. The only thing you can do is move on. its sucks but breaks only make you stronger. I strongly suggest that you take a lot of the positive advice that has been given to you. once you've gathered the info/ opinions you want, officially close the thread and dont bother looking at it anymore. the last thing you want is another reminder.

i apologize for assuming but im basing it strictly on what youve written.

GL to you