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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 10-22-2011, 09:08 AM   #1
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[Confidential] Choosing btwn two girls: one just met, one crushed on long time

The following post is from an anonymous member. If they would like to reply to any replies please pm me.

Wow, it has been topsy-turvy night.

I had gotten out of a relationship a year and a half ago, that left me pretty messed up. Throughout the time, I had my eye on a friend that I was quite into for a long, long time, but never made a move because she was a friend, and didn't wanna jeopardize what we had until I fully knew I was ready to commit to a serious relationship. We have had some quite intimate friend-dates but I never made a move just because I didn't feel ready yet.

However, recently I met another girl, friend of a friend, and have become quite attached quite quickly. We've been seeing each other for 5 weeks, and have recently made it 'official' (aka steady aka monogamous) two weeks ago.

Tonight, through a series of text msgs and events, I spoke with the crush/friend, and found out that the feelings were reciprocal, but also had found out about me and the new girl and that I had feelings from her from a 3rd party. However, another friend brought up a good point that what if she is only interested because I am not available?

Now I am completely torn between the friend I've been pining for for more than a year, and whom I've known as a friend for several years, or the girl I've fallen over but have only known for 5 weeks.

My gut says go for the crush, but my brain and logic say stick with the new girl.

My friend suggested I talk to the friend in a sober, more conversational setting (i.e. not after 5 drinks and in a club), which I will be doing over the weekend.

Any advice?

Thanks!

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Old 10-22-2011, 09:34 AM   #2
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Stick with the new girl. Your friend doesn't mind homewrecking it seems, and that tells alot about her character.
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Old 10-22-2011, 09:43 AM   #3
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:04 AM   #4
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:38 AM   #5
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simple answer..go with the new one, sometimes crushes don't live up to your own expectations cause you've regarded them so highly already, not good for you or her
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:48 AM   #6
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my rule of thumb when picking between 2 or more girls .. always go with the one with bigger boobs
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:43 PM   #7
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Old 10-22-2011, 01:25 PM   #8
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2nd one.

And when you break up with her. Go for the friend after.
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Old 10-22-2011, 01:57 PM   #9
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:05 PM   #10
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girl 1 will be around for later still if things are right.

its all about timing.
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:05 PM   #11
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my rule of thumb when picking between 2 or more girls .. always go with the one with bigger boobs
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:14 PM   #12
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I don't think that the original girl is JUST telling you now because you are "unavailable"...She probably thought you were moving towards a relationship and was waiting for you to make a move. As you said, you had some "quite intimate friend-dates". Maybe she finally got to guts to express her feelings....

I don't think you will be able to move forward with the new girl with unresolved feeling for the original one. She will always be in the back of your head....I guarantee that the first time you fight/argue/etc with the new one, you will think about the original one and "what if" it...
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:20 PM   #13
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My gut says go for the crush, but my brain and logic say stick with the new girl.
What does your heart say
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Old 10-22-2011, 03:39 PM   #14
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pics of both might help with the decision...

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Old 10-22-2011, 04:04 PM   #15
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To quote the most misunderstood individual and figurehead on Revscene:

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Old 10-22-2011, 04:10 PM   #16
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What does your heart say
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Old 10-22-2011, 04:55 PM   #17
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Old 10-22-2011, 05:03 PM   #18
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go with the one with hotter friends then share pics on rs. TIA.
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Old 10-22-2011, 05:08 PM   #19
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Serious replies only please. Some of you deserve points. Keep it up and some of you will GET points.
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Old 10-22-2011, 05:26 PM   #20
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Honestly though, I would go with the second.
You've already started a relationship with her. There's no point in ending it just because some fling from the past suddenly tells you that she's interested in you. Granted, she's been on a few dates with you which means there is at least some levels of attraction there.

Still, if you already have a good thing going, why stop?






























And on the bright side, if it doesn't work out with the new girl, there's always a chance that you can revert back to the relationship with the crush from before. Can't say the same if it were the other way around.

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Old 10-22-2011, 06:00 PM   #21
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Go for the first! Shes not expressing her feelings because shes trying to homewreck u dummies, shes expressing how she feels cuz she thinks its time he knew and she couldnt stand to c him with someone else.

If anything, u should have srsly expressed how you felt with the first girl. If she said yes, u would be happy, if she said no, then you would have been happy with the second girl. Amirite?
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Old 10-22-2011, 07:22 PM   #22
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This is horrible advice.
People already act like this, and it's no wonder that divorce rates are through the roof. Love is a choice, often an continuous choice, not just some feeling you get when cupid's arrow hits you. Just because you feel like you love someone else, doesn't mean you should just go do it.

"Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of it's object"
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Old 10-22-2011, 07:35 PM   #23
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Old 10-22-2011, 07:54 PM   #24
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Just do whatever you think you won't regret in the future. You have your gut and brain+logic factored in, but always remember to follow your heart.
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my rule of thumb when picking between 2 or more girls .. always go with the one with bigger boobs

Last edited by palepilsenpin0y; 10-22-2011 at 08:13 PM. Reason: Re-read the OP
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:09 PM   #25
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i went through a similar situation a couple of years ago.. decided to go ahead with the friend I've known for a while. it didnt end up working out and the other girl ended up with someone else. guess where i ended up..

go with the second one.
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