feels like i'm always torn between having enough stability & living enough of my life before 35

Good for you man! It's crazy to think about late 20/early 30s tech workers who make crazy money. A guy I mentor from time to time is a 31 year old Eng Manager in Cupertino and he tells me he cleared $500k USD last year and will probably clear $600k USD this year. I know some Vancouver folks who work for SF located tech who clear $400k CAD that aren't even in management and who just passed 30y.o. You guys can be retired by 40.

I think it'd be worthwhile to do a bit of a working backwards exercise for your life and career instead of looking at what's next. Pick a goal or point in time that's in the future - typically 5-10 years out and then work backwards from that in terms of what skills and knowledge you need to acquire to make that goal happen. Figure out what you'd need to do to get that skill or knowledge (and also have someone validate that list) then figure out the order in which you want to acquire them (including making a list of companies or people who can get you those skills/knowledge) and start checking off that list one by one.

Since we're in the same line of work I'm happy to chat offline if you like - my simple background: I've hired 38 PMs in my career and 17 of them have gotten into management, 12 of those at the Director/VP/C-suite level. A few have started their own companies as well.

probably cuz we chinese. its built into our DNA and socially reinforced.

Dont get tunnelvision by his compensation, his cost of living is a lot higher than vancouver. Plus he pays federal/state/NYC income tax.

If you wanna join YC you gotta move to norcal for opportunities no?

Yes, I'm open to spending a year+ in NorCal to see where that adventure takes me.

On comp, yep - expenses are high and most of my savings are from US equivalent of 401k matching and stock comp.
200-250k is middle class in NYC, 400k is when I think u start getting relaxed.

Y'all have lifestyle and ease of living so freaking good in Vancouver.
When I moved to Seattle, I was making 2X the Vancouver income but my quality of living was definitely worse.

Oh boohoo, all I picture is:
https://media1.tenor.com/m/80zMDyE85...ney-crying.gif

If you only spent 150k on fixed expenses of your 250k salary you'd still be ahead of 90% of all Canadians.

If your rent is 2.7k in New York where do the rest of the expenses come from? lol that’s a basement suite in east van.

Working in tech is like living in an alternate universe. You can become so entitled to things like you'll get upset because they got rid of the jalapeño cheddar bagels on bagel day and feel you have to ask the CEO about it at all hands (this really happened) or you get out the pitchforks when they swap out the free Coke products with Pepsi products (that was justified IMO, my body is a temple and I'm not putting Pepsi products in it).

I think at one point I noted that out of my 14 year career in tech that I had gotten free pop for 11 of those. What do you mean you have to PAY for pop? I worked at a place with 3 kinds of bourbon on top of all the other hard liquors (I was even told that if I had a whiskey I wanted that they'd get it in for me) - there were days I was drinking bourbon in the MORNING at work.

Things have toned done in the last few years b/c of all the layoffs (like we've cancelled DEI and LGBTQ+ entirely!) but I'm not sure which previous era was more nuts in my career - the 2003-2007 era before the financial crisis or the time just before COVID.

my uneducated not-in-industry vote is option 2.
It has the opportunities in-house for you to grow + it'll get you into the SF bay area and you can network or discover other opportunities.
Plus east coast north america sucks especially if you like cars and you cant beat norcal.

Are you able to pivot into PE? then maybe stick around NYC.

$300k of income in NY = $196k after taxes, marginal tax rate of 44.2% for the next dollar earned.

$300k of income in BC = $178k after taxes, marginal tax rate of 53.5% for the next dollar earned.

And I do not for a moment believe the cost of living is meaningfully higher in NYC over Vancouver.

-Mark

It's not, but there is 1-3 higher tiers of shit you can blow your money on in NYC that you can't in even find Vancouver.

That's entirely what it is...lifestyle creep.

like what? name them!!!!

Judging from his savings and cheaper rent it looks like he's a saver and didnt indulge too much into the nyc lifestyle.

Heroin encrusted medium rare sliders?

Who knows?! I'm not in that tax bracket.

AstulzerRZD chime in here!!!

Psshhh you can get that here….

My cousins in NYC. He’s broke as shit for being an accountant and he pulls probably 300k usd if not more. He lives in this 100 year old trash loft, has an E bike to commute with and takes the subway for the rest of the time. He doesn’t even have a car cuz he’s a hipster.

Interested to know what hipster douche NYC Hobz looks like

Well no one drives in NYC because it's a pain in the ass. They just implemented congestion pricing making it even more a of a pain in the ass to own a car.

I'm sure if he just moved his ass over to some ex-urbs in Long Island or Jersey he'd be living an upper middle class lifestyle but he chooses to live in the city like that.

I've seen some stuff over the years and made mistakes.

You're obviously well-accomplished for your age and make good money. You have all of these material things and experiences, but you still come off as an NPC. Life isn't a video game where you make progress in a linear way.

Perhaps it's time to work on your people skills and your personal brand. At the end of the day, ask yourself "Who are you?" and "What do I want?". The people who have a combination of likeability and the ability to earn the respect of others go further in life and are less likely to be seen as just a number. Your likeability and ability to earn the respect of others come from within.

I can only speak generally to this unlike Supa and Evo, given my background is in hardware engineering (electrical design, architect IC).

I would extend Supa's work backwards exercise to the end of your life: when you're old and dying, when you look back at what you did, is this something you're going to be proud of committing the prime of your life to? For me, when I walk into a store and my product's on display, that I can point to it and say "I made that". For me that is a yes and makes it all worth it.

I also agree with Supa that at this level of compensation, 50k is negligible. I wouldn't let that sway your decision at all. Not just in a relativistic sense, but also that this figure will pale in comparison to the RSU refreshers and bonuses as you go - provided you've pivoted into an environment where you can really contribute vs expectation of the role. And I think you will, when you work somewhere that you feel especially challenged and energized. Somewhere that you are motivated and able to maximize learning, and immediately take those learnings and leverage for maximized value to the business. And obviously in the long run, your TC will only grow as you continue to deliver outsized value. Exponentially, year over year. You are paid what you are worth, and your worth scales with the opportunity you have to be exceptional in what/how you deliver.

Also agree that if what you're doing is meaningful to you and gives you a huge sense of purpose, maybe work/life balance doesn't have to be a major concern yet. Maybe just have a reasonable exit strategy for tying it all off in terms of your mentality. I.e. when it comes time that you want to settle down (mid 30s?), can you walk away from being all-in, and still be happy with yourself. I mean just personally, now that I'm in the 2nd half of my 30s there's no way I could keep going like that. And - not that you'd necessarily choose to have kids - kids have taken a huge toll on my energy and patience that I used to be able to put towards my work. It isn't even about having less time necessarily.

Sorry this wasn't super coherent: the newborn is not letting me sleep much these days :).

I know your post was meant as a joke, but there may also be a different angle to look at this. I had to think about how to reply.

I think it's hard to throw a blanket over the majority of active posters on RS and label them as low achievers. We must have done something to get to where we are. I think it's fair to say we've all done something we're proud of, or be able to enjoy, such as traveling, or dining out at nice restaurants, while others can only wish to do that.

Hondaracer mentioned his broke ass buddy who makes $65K a year. My counter argument to that is, "So what?" Yes, he may be broke. Yes, he may never own a home, but what if he is happy and content with where he is, and the direction he's going? I don't have a crystal ball or have access to an oracle to predict his friend's future, so we'll leave it to our own imaginations.

The link I shared is worth considering for anyone who has wondered about what to do next, low-achiever or not. :D I don't mean to steal AstulzerRZD's thunder, but I'm mid-career and trying to figure out what the next chapter in my life is. I made a decision in my early 30s to move to Toronto from Vancouver and when I reflect on it, it was a good decision. Had I stayed in Vancouver, I think I would have likely been Hondaracer's broke buddy.

If any of you guys are interested in the book from the link I shared, I can umm...let you borrow a copy (if you know what I mean.) It's an easy read and has been very insightful and relatable. Feel free to PM me. :inout:

tldr the whole thing, but my vote goes to option 1. ride the money train until it runs out or at least for a couple years.

When it comes to that kind of money, pretty much all of those positions give you an exceptional lifestyle. Pick the one that gives you time to enjoy it. If none of them do, pick the highest paying one and hope you live long enough to retire early and enjoy it all.
My brother in law makes 3x what I make, but I do 3x as much fun shit as he does. We are both happy and have tons of respect for each others choices.
He's gonna be loving life at 50, I'm still gonna be working.
Right now I snowboard more in a good week than he does in a season.
It's kinda one of those things where you just gotta decide, and if you don't like it, change it.

You know what man? I was being a cynical jerk with that post (actually I've been a cynical jerk for as long as I can remember). I went back and looked at that link and didn't realize it was a book (I assumed it was some self-help guru hawking some courses). I'm going to go to my local VPL and check it out. I've been resolving to read more actual books this year and having just finished Atomic Habits I think I'll give this one a chance too.

Thanks dude. And If I haven't said this before good on you for going back to school to get your MBA, takes some real guts to make a change in your life at our age.

There's also something to be said about knowing the limitations of your own skills and avoiding the stress of being promoted to a level of incompetence.

This is pretty neat