One thing I think isn't being addressed here and I'm unsure if I don't understand the weight of it or the situation itself didn't have enough details or whatever... but do you really just completely throw the towel in and say fuck you I'm going somewhere else because of one promotion being passed over?

Maybe I'm in an older generation thinking wise but like... if that happened to me, okay, I'd be miffed but as long as the process was run fairly and I can see the rationale, I just try harder next time or expand my knowledge base or maybe it's a "show me" moment... can't expect to always get handed upgrades?

Jobs at places the size of MS are pretty coveted in the industry and they pay you a lot of $$$ with what seems like quite a bit of free time to go on vacays.

Everyone's life trajectory is different and my path might not fit yours.

But if I were to be back to late 20s/Early 30th, I'd take a bit of extra risk and try to make it big.

Looking back, I think if I took a bit more risk, even though success was not guaranteed, I had the opportunity to be in the next income bracket... heck, probably a few next brackets.

I kinda did that back in the day. I quit my well-paid but tiring sales job and did my own startup. After we got bought out, I made some money, but when people came to me asking for starting more businesses, I just decided to use that money and live a simple life.

I don't think I regret that decision. It was ok. But I think if I were back to that age again, I'd probably did a few more startups as I had a lot more experience running at the time. I knew well how to raise funds. Just coming off an ok successful startup meaning I had all the credits I needed. And I was in that zone where I was hungry and eager when it came to business.

So, if you are in the late 20s/early 30s with little financial burden on yourself, I'd take the path that maximize the payout while taking the most risk. Looking at your options, they all seem roughly the same industry or whatever you specialize in. Thus, even if the risky option goes sour, it wouldn't really leave a mark on your resume or anything like that.

Alternatively, if job or career development is in your mind, think if going into pro C-suite is something you have in mind... if so, maybe getting into an EMBA program or sort isn't a bad option. Many large (especially publicly traded companies) kinda have this prerequisite of MBA even though it's unspoken. But unless you are like founder from a highly technical startup, in order to get into professional management role, you need to have the credentials. Thus, getting a job in a place where it allows you time to do the MBA in, ideally a highly reputable institution, a nearby place isn't a bad option either.

I think you're touching on something I meant to ask as well: what was the reason Astulzer's promotion was denied? I think that matters, although maybe not to answer his specific questions.

Budget or political reasons? Yeah definitely don't stay. There's just nothing you can do about that and it's out of your hands. Insufficient alignment of what you bring to the table, with what is needed in this org? Maybe it's time to move, maybe not: is what they're looking for something you can bring yourself to develop from where you are (this was my case and it hugely worked out: my manager and I continue to joke that I "sold my soul")? Plain "you're not ready yet"? If nothing was concrete about next-steps from them to get there, then maybe ya time to go as well.

He hasn’t replied ! That’s a good sign.

Maybe he went to the nearest beetle hut and bought a stupid over priced beetle. Hopefully porked the sales lady in the process. At least you get an interesting story for such a dull looking car. Ha !

nah, he's in new York

https://youtu.be/9d_22U8OW2I?si=_Mdr3Xq1rJ0B4Hd3

Sorry for late reply, been doing a bit of pondering and interview prep.
We're back to taking on a second job's worth of learning/work on top of day job/school.

On the Promotion
TL;DR: The org’s dynamics have shifted, and I feel it’s easier to grow, get promoted, and gain new perspectives by switching teams or employers.

- Changing Requirements: A new manager (3 levels up) raised the bar for promotions, focusing on broader team impact. My specialized role didn’t align with these new expectations.
- Reorg Challenges: Two years at my level, but multiple reorgs made it tough to create meaningful impact.
- Support: My manager and theirs advocated for my promotion, but it didn’t get enough higher-level backing.
- Feedback: I got clear, actionable feedback to improve.
- Team Dynamics: We’ve grown from a small, agile team to a massive, matrixed org of 400–600. The shift demands more buy-in and communication—areas I need to improve.

On aspirations
TLDR need to learn more.

- Role: I'd like to keep an AI related role to make a good case for a green card through the EB2 NIW program
- Team: I feel time is the one thing I can't get back and I feel behind in learning/skillset needed for successful YC application/found my own startup
- Startup Skills: Marketing, ads, raising funding
- Enterprise Skills: Communicating across a matrixed org and driving projects and findings to become the organization's zeitgeist and iterating deeply on my projects to drive even more impact

On progress
TLDR first steps done, interview is getting real, need to network.
Goal: Apply
- Redid my resume and passed phone screen with Bloomberg for an AI PM role.
- Done several mock interviews to make answers more concise and relatable.

Goal: Network
- Working on a portfolio deck/website with the designer on my team to explain the depth/challenge associated with my work
- Working on a series of Tweets to explain how we built a new AI feature

On Mentorship:
TLDR how do I go about this?

I miss having mentors like I had in school and want to improve here.
I feel mentors appreciate mentees who:
1. Show they’ve put in effort and taken first steps.
2. Present problems/deliverables in a clear, digestible way without being overwhelming.

Curious how others structure this relationship—open to tips!
Shoutout to RabitRat & Supafamous—you’ve made my week. Thanks for helping me feel cared for!

Y'all are fucking awesome,
-A

Man, this hits hard.

For me, I'm finding consistency and balancing the drive to do things with a curious mindset is a lot more difficult that the money part. When I’m chasing things out of fear or scarcity, it feels fake—like politician vibes.

I don’t make enough to afford this stuff outright, so I’ve found some back doors:

- Alps trip: $150 for accommodations because a buddy’s friend had a condo in Méribel. Flew standby thanks to a pilot friend I met at a bar. He looked a lil lonely that night so introduced myself and we had a great night bar hopping.

- Nightclubs: Used to pay $300 cover, but now I rally a few besties, take fun pics, and send them to promoters—free entry and sometimes a table. Met some DJs playing open decks too.

- Sports/golf: No hack yet. Coaching and lessons are crazy expensive. I need new golf buddies now that my PE friend moved to Miami.

- Dinners: Can’t avoid the cost, but standing reservations at good spots work as social currency—great for group dinners.

- Equinox Pool: I found 12 friends with AMEX Plats - bought their $300 equinox credit for $50-70 each.

- Hamptons summer: Still figuring this one out.

- Art galas/openings: Same—tickets are pricey, and I haven’t cracked it yet.

It's a big city and it feels a lot safer with company that you can trust. At the end of the day, we all want good vibes and company.

All that shit is out of my league. I gave my 2 cents on the first page but I really don't think I can help you much. Good luck with everything.

My world view is just smaller I guess. I'm happy in this "shithole" called Vancouver (re: Honda) and I got two kids. My life as you guys see it is kind of it. Maybe the most exciting thing for me would be to buy a Beetle.

EDIT: If anything.... I might need to come to you for referrals :nyan:

Your beetles a piece of shit !!!!

Maybe it's because I'm old, but it makes me really tired to even think about every single thing I do coming from an outsourced hookup from a relationship I have to maintain... or strategically thinking about who I need to befriend based on what they might be able to offer me? I don't know which one comes first in these situations above tbh.

I do think one thing you need to consider for the future is a point probably coming very, very soon where you can't just expect 12 people to show up for dinner on a whim or 6 guys to go to Europe because it's cool... as soon as your friends start getting married or having families it's game over for random "bro let's go get dressed you got 5 minutes meet me out front" moments. All these transactional relationships won't be very useful or fulfilling at that point. It's also not conducive to having a meaningful relationship of your own.

^ to be fair, I don't think he isn't aware of that. His messaging seems pretty specifically "I've got until I'm 35 to live my life to the absolute most. And here's how I'm making it work in NYC on a limited budget."

I miss those days. FeelsBadMan

Still sad I missed out on Hobz's impromptu Saturday breakfast cruise to Isetta. Geriatric Motoring Club is all I have to look forward to :lol

I definitely felt this way in year 1 - shit I have nothing here how do I have things.
I can still put on the politician hat and introduce myself well in 3 minutes / suss someone out at a network event but it all feels kind of contrived.
It's a lot of pressure and stress that scares me after some time.

I feel like in year 3 I feel like it's more - how do I be real, be someone people feel comfortable and excited around, and create the kinds of meaningful bonds that we measure in decades.
Like it said earlier, I want it to come from a place of giving, consistency, and curiosity than a place of fear/need.
I feel rich because of the people I can talk to about my bad days and what scares me about my dreams.

Just as a side comment: of course that's by choice. If you removed the constraint to be in Vancouver, you could experience a lot more (i.e. Astulzer's wild post re NYC) and have a lot more (e.g. 68style and his mind-blowing garage space none of us could even dream of, and apparently has even a god damn lift). But you choose to be in Vancouver because it's where you want to be.

On the other hand, the opposite isn't true. Tons of people want to move to and live in Vancouver but they can't find a way to make that work. I left in the first place because I couldn't get a job, at least not doing what I went to school for. Just saying :p.

Wow, talk about a whole new meaning to GMC. :pokerface:

Randomly bumping into you and BlackRCode in Venice was one of the most memorable moments ever. :alone:

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

A lot of these barriers are gravity problems or simply a matter of choice. We choose the lifestyle we want but it also comes with its own set of baggage.

Like RabidRat, I could not get a job doing what I wanted in Vancouver, so off I went to the centre of the universe.

I've met a lot of really good friends here on this forum and despite the fact that we've moved away or grown up or however you put it, we always make time to meet up in the most weirdest, and random places. Including random parking lots in the middle of the week.

Geriatric Motoring Club is trademarked by me !!!

Somebody design me some stickers. I want this on ratrolla’s quarter window

Ideally with some really geriatric font too like…. Comic sans or papyrus or new times roman

I chose work/life balance instead of making more money. My income is probably on the lower end compared to my social circle. From 16-26, I maximized savings rate to create a nest egg so that when I figure out what I wanna do, I'll have the means to do it. Just turned 29, I have a fear of being underlived given that I have such a good start economically, socially, and opportunity to live a great life. I haven't figured out what "great" life for myself is yet.


The advice to Vancouver "high" earners $140-300K TC is to identify the lifestyle you want, build it out, then work backwards to the compensation you need to build that lifestyle + retirement goal.

After that, you're better off buying time instead of earning more.

I just got access to this stuff, sounds like you can afford all of this stuff, but it's maybe 2x the price in NY/VHCOL



- Alps trip: - $2.5K/year - 10/10 1-2 ski trips, 1-3 whistler passes, local passes, this is so fun hot tub and beers with the BOYZ

- Nightclubs + Bars + drinking + dating: - $2k/year - 2/10 Awful money to fun ratio, I only go if a friend is having a birthday, which is really rare at late 20's. Maybe it's fun to try to pull some mid-party girls, but I'm also going to Ultra Miami, which says a lot

- Sports/golf: - $3.5K/year -12/10 Best hobby of all time, replaced competitive gaming, met 10-15 good friends, and 30+ acquaintances that i rotate for tee times. I do 2 golf trips a year over 3-4 nights, play about 30-40 course a year, 1x a week range, 20-30 sim golf sessions, such a good time to connect with the boyz or build business connections.

- Dinners and eating out and dating: 5/10 - $4-5K/year - , strictly for keeping dating entertaining for myself, marginal utility caps after $70-120/meal

- Equinox Pool: Nice gyms are worth it meet people and baddies, extra perks if it's dead

- Hamptons summer: - $200-400/trip for 3-4 nights - 12/10, we do a domestic retreat trip at houses with 30-50 people accommodation every year, these trips are really good for creating memories, having deep talks and shrooms. We're going here 2 years in a row

https://604now.com/park-place-airbnb-chilliwack-bc/

- Art galas/openings: - Free flights + accomodation - 10/10, One of my favourite memories of NYC was going art gala hopping, collecting free wine with a attractive gorl, felt like I was in a movie.

How do you go to the hamptons for 200-400?! That's barely enough to cover the mushrooms!

I think Gerbs is giving his cost-breakdown for a Vancouver equivalent lifestyle, high earning, almost 30.

Our local hamptons is like
- islands
- Kelowna
- Everett
- interior B.C.

Island is pretty sweet since a few friends live there and have empty homes.

Mushrooms are dummy cheap nowadays too $20-50?

Everett??

Who TF goes to Everett?

4 day trip you need like an oz so even at cheap that's $100

It's pretty lit, get a house that fits 20-30 people by warm beach! Anything along the coast before Seattle works.

Sunset paddleboarding.

I don't think shrooms work back to back but you can also pound a 60 pack of coronas in 4 days too lol