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The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy. When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis. The bartender asks, "Dry?" "NICHT DREI, ZWEI!" |
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Or some understanding of German and being able to count two three. |
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still don't get it. |
:facepalm: |
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ZWEI = 2 in German... "The Bartender asks, "Dry?" "Not THREE, TWO!" |
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Why does a midget laugh when he runs? Because the grass tickles his balls lmfao Posted via RS Mobile |
So, I was tickling my little brother's feet when mum wakes up and starts giving me a right earful. Something about "Waiting until he's born". |
When is a right time to kick a midget in the balls? When he's standing next to your girl and say that her hair smells nice hahaha |
Not sure if repost but love this one. A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I have to warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party. The city slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going on. No problem he responded. Well, There will probably be some fighting too. I think I can handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear at the party" The man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!" I use this quite often when I invite someone over to my place. |
I was naked in my hotel room the other day when the maid came in... Finally. |
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The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'" -------------------------- Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!" |
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day she mentioned her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a way to make your car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "as long as I can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here's the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car? "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it." |
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So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere… Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? I hear it’s making headlines. |
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Are racist jokes allowed? HOw does a black girl know she's pregnant?? Pulls out her tampon and the cotton has been picked off. |
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