REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum


Welcome to the REVscene Automotive Forum forums.

Registration is Free!You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.


Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Automotive Chat > Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events

Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-22-2014, 10:05 PM   #676
RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
 
meme405's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,529
Thanked 6,967 Times in 2,123 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by rsx View Post
I thought it would end with ...well that'd mean I was a Vancouver Canuck =(
Don't know wether to thank or fail. So enjoy one of both.
Advertisement
__________________

Barney Fucking Purple FX35
Brianna - 2008 FX35 - Build Thread
meme405 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2014, 09:22 AM   #677
This title intentionally left blank MOD
 
Alatar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Above Sea Level
Posts: 8,546
Thanked 484 Times in 211 Posts
The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.

When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.

The bartender asks, "Dry?"

"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!"
__________________
Classifieds Head Moderator
Automotive Service Technician

I don't have an anger problem. I have an idiot problem.
Alatar is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 04-13-2014, 09:37 AM   #678
CRS
ninja edits your posts without your knowledge
 
CRS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 14,343
Thanked 5,461 Times in 1,471 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alatar View Post
The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.

When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.

The bartender asks, "Dry?"

"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!"
This joke requires some context/background.
CRS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2014, 09:49 AM   #679
This title intentionally left blank MOD
 
Alatar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Above Sea Level
Posts: 8,546
Thanked 484 Times in 211 Posts
Or some understanding of German and being able to count two three.
__________________
Classifieds Head Moderator
Automotive Service Technician

I don't have an anger problem. I have an idiot problem.
Alatar is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 04-13-2014, 09:57 AM   #680
Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
 
Pegacorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Homecouver
Posts: 209
Thanked 181 Times in 76 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alatar View Post
The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.

When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.

The bartender asks, "Dry?"

"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!"
Sehr lustig! Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you're hungry for power.
Pegacorn is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 04-13-2014, 11:32 AM   #681
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,481
Thanked 1,495 Times in 413 Posts
still don't get it.
SoNaRWaVe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2014, 01:53 PM   #682
Head Moderator
 
Lomac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1982
Location: Kamloops / NY
Posts: 22,491
Thanked 6,309 Times in 2,008 Posts
Lomac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2014, 03:17 PM   #683
Old School RS
 
lowside67's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Port Moody
Posts: 4,024
Thanked 2,955 Times in 887 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alatar View Post
The Germans train two super spies during WWII. They send them to London to gather intelligence from the enemy.

When the spies arrive, they go into a bar and ask the bartender for two martinis.

The bartender asks, "Dry?"

"NICHT DREI, ZWEI!"
DREI = 3 in German...
ZWEI = 2 in German...

"The Bartender asks, "Dry?"

"Not THREE, TWO!"
__________________
2011 BMW 128I
lowside67 is online now   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 04-13-2014, 03:18 PM   #684
This title intentionally left blank MOD
 
Alatar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Above Sea Level
Posts: 8,546
Thanked 484 Times in 211 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by lowside67 View Post
DREI = 3 in German...
ZWEI = 2 in German...

"The Bartender asks, "Dry?"

"Not THREE, TWO!"
Explaining the joke just simplifies it too much.
__________________
Classifieds Head Moderator
Automotive Service Technician

I don't have an anger problem. I have an idiot problem.
Alatar is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 04-16-2014, 02:54 PM   #685
I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
 
ilovebacon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,551
Thanked 1,307 Times in 322 Posts
Why does a midget laugh when he runs? Because the grass tickles his balls lmfao
Posted via RS Mobile
ilovebacon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2014, 12:02 PM   #686
Head of HR....have a seat on that couch
 
fliptuner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 20,108
Thanked 12,951 Times in 3,514 Posts
So, I was tickling my little brother's feet when mum wakes up and starts giving me a right earful. Something about "Waiting until he's born".
__________________
feedback

Originally posted by v.b.
can we stop, my pussy hurts...
Originally posted by asian_XL
fliptuner, I am gonna grab ur dick and pee in your face, then rub shit all over my face...:lol
Originally posted by Fei-Ji
haha i can taste the cum in my mouth
Originally posted by FastAnna
when I was 13 I wanted to be a video hoe so bad


RSUV #7
fliptuner is online now   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 05-30-2014, 03:35 AM   #687
I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
 
ilovebacon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,551
Thanked 1,307 Times in 322 Posts
When is a right time to kick a midget in the balls? When he's standing next to your girl and say that her hair smells nice hahaha
ilovebacon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-2014, 03:54 AM   #688
Captain Happy Bubble is my Homeboy
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 340
Thanked 574 Times in 138 Posts
Not sure if repost but love this one.

A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre
spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across
another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor
and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I have to
warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party. The city
slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going on. No problem he
responded. Well, There will probably be some fighting too. I think I can
handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and
asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear at the party" The
man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!"

I use this quite often when I invite someone over to my place.
NKC ONE is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 08-25-2014, 03:54 PM   #689
I subscribe to the Fight Club ONLY
 
sonick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Revscene
Posts: 7,324
Thanked 4,946 Times in 1,558 Posts
I was naked in my hotel room the other day when the maid came in... Finally.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by skyxx View Post
Sonick is a genius. I won't go into detail what's so great about his post. But it's damn good!
1999 Mazda Miata - Weekend Driver
2007 Toyota Rav4 Sport V6 - Current
2003 Mazda Protege5 - Sold
1987 BMW 325is - Sold
1990 Mazda Miata - Sold

100% Buy and Sell Feedback
sonick is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 08-25-2014, 06:36 PM   #690
I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
 
hchang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,695
Thanked 2,875 Times in 661 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonick View Post
I was naked in my hotel room the other day when the maid came in... Finally.
Go on....
hchang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2014, 09:31 AM   #691
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,432
Thanked 16,632 Times in 3,891 Posts


Quote:
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the
middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he
turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in
deeper.

He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.

As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
with her date. After being informed of the problem, their
daughter's date said he could get the peanut out..

The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to
shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young
man insisted that it was nothing.

Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,
'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be
when he grows older?'

The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law
murd0c is online now   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 10-09-2014, 04:39 PM   #692
RS controls my life!
 
Godzira's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,243 Times in 274 Posts
Godzira is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 10-17-2014, 11:46 AM   #693
I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
 
hchang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,695
Thanked 2,875 Times in 661 Posts
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"

Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"


--------------------------

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
hchang is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 10-30-2014, 09:57 PM   #694
Everyone wants a piece of R S...
 
bicboi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Above&Beyond
Posts: 353
Thanked 1,127 Times in 134 Posts
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day she mentioned her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a way to make your car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "as long as I can sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here's the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car? "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
bicboi is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 11-10-2014, 02:11 PM   #695
RS controls my life!
 
Godzira's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,243 Times in 274 Posts


Godzira is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2014, 03:48 PM   #696
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,432
Thanked 16,632 Times in 3,891 Posts
murd0c is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2014, 02:42 PM   #697
RS controls my life!
 
Godzira's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,243 Times in 274 Posts
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere…










Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?
I hear it’s making headlines.

Last edited by Godzira; 11-17-2014 at 03:03 PM.
Godzira is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 12-17-2014, 09:54 AM   #698
RS controls my life!
 
Godzira's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,243 Times in 274 Posts
meh,
__________________
instagram
Godzira Build
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkunkWorks View Post
I believe cars are meant to be driven. I see zero point in having a beautiful car and never driving it. Might as well have Miranda Kerr in your bed and sleeping on the ground cause you don't want to fudge her mascara...

We go through our entire lives being told what to do every step of the way. The garage was always the one place where you could indulge in your own passion, with not a care for the outside world.
Godzira is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 12-17-2014, 01:13 PM   #699
Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: work
Posts: 1,399
Thanked 926 Times in 326 Posts
Are racist jokes allowed?

HOw does a black girl know she's pregnant??

Pulls out her tampon and the cotton has been picked off.
E-SPEC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2015, 04:12 PM   #700
RS controls my life!
 
Godzira's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Victoria
Posts: 770
Thanked 1,243 Times in 274 Posts




























__________________
instagram
Godzira Build
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkunkWorks View Post
I believe cars are meant to be driven. I see zero point in having a beautiful car and never driving it. Might as well have Miranda Kerr in your bed and sleeping on the ground cause you don't want to fudge her mascara...

We go through our entire lives being told what to do every step of the way. The garage was always the one place where you could indulge in your own passion, with not a care for the outside world.
Godzira is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:18 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Revscene.net cannot be held accountable for the actions of its members nor does the opinions of the members represent that of Revscene.net