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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

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Old 03-10-2010, 02:15 PM   #201
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A US first grade teacher explained to her class that she is an American

She asked her students to raise their hands if they are American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands went up.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Anna has not gone along with the class.

The teacher asked her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American."

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a Canadian," boasted the little girl.

The teacher asked Anna why she is a Canadian

"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too

"The teacher replied," Well, you could have been born in the US!" she said loudly.

Not using good logic the teacher said , "Supposing your Mom was not a good hockey player, and your Dad was not a good hockey player, would that mean that you are not a good hockey player either?"

A pause, and a smile. Anna replied, "Nope! That'd mean I'm an American!"
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Old 03-23-2010, 01:24 PM   #202
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Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the very first time.




The first lady said, 'I don't know bout y'all , but I'm gunna put me on sum hot pink panties beefo' I get on dat plane.'

'Why you gonna wear dem fo?' the other two asked

The first replied, 'Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first.'

The second lady said, 'Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some floe esant orange panties.'

'Why you gonna wear dem?' the others asked.

The second lady answered, 'Cause if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be floating butt-up in the oshion, dey can see me first.'

The third lady says, 'Well, I'm not gonna wear any panties........

'What? No panties?' the others asked in disbelief.

The third lady says, 'Dat's right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain't wearing any panties cos, honey, dey always look for da Black Box first'
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Old 03-23-2010, 02:20 PM   #203
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what do you call a million black people skydiving?

Spoiler!
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Old 03-23-2010, 02:23 PM   #204
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What did the left vagina lip say to the right vagina lip?


Spoiler!
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Old 03-23-2010, 02:55 PM   #205
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knock knock
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Old 03-23-2010, 02:56 PM   #206
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knock knock
Who's there?
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Old 03-23-2010, 02:59 PM   #207
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Who's there?
who
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:01 PM   #208
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who who?
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half those dudes are hotter than ,my GF.
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reading this thread is like waiting for goku to charge up a spirit bomb in dragon ball z
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OH thank god. I thought u had sex with my wife. :cry:
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:01 PM   #209
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who
who who?
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:03 PM   #210
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who who?
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who who?
owl.

GET IT?
HAHHAHA i laughed out loud to myself



im so lonely.
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:08 PM   #211
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Knock knock
Posted via RS Mobile
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:18 PM   #212
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^whos there
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:20 PM   #213
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Doctor
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:20 PM   #214
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Doctor who?

(LOL at raygunpk)
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:36 PM   #215
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:38 PM   #216
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HAHAHAH
doctor owl.
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:48 PM   #217
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^LOL
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Old 03-23-2010, 04:36 PM   #218
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what do you call woman that knows where her husband is everynight?

a widow hahahhahaahah
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Old 03-23-2010, 09:59 PM   #219
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A nerd comes running up to his friend and says:
"You'll never believe what happened to me yesterday. I was walking around when all the sudden this beautiful girl comes up to me riding this wicked bike. She throws down the bike, takes off all her clothes, and says 'Take whatever you want.'"
"So I took the bike."
His friend responds "Good choice. The clothes would have never fit you."
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Old 03-23-2010, 11:00 PM   #220
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What's the difference between a baby and a fridge?





A fridge doesn't scream when you stick your meat in it.


------------


What's the difference between a Surrey guy and a Surrey girl?





A Surrey girl has a higher sperm count.
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Old 03-24-2010, 03:55 PM   #221
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Little johnnie's neighbor has a baby, unfortunately, its born without ears. Before visiting little johnnie's dad tells him that if he say's anything about the baby's ear he'll be spanked. When little johnnie looks in the crib, he says "She has such beautiful eyes, Can she see?" "yes" says the father,"she has perfect 20-20 vision" "Great" says little johnnie." cuz she'd be Fucked if she needed glasses"

A group of 40 year-old buddies discuss where to meet for dinner. They agree on the Gausthof zum lowen restaurant because the waitresses have low-cut blouses and nice breast. Ten years later, at 50, they decide to meet again, they agree on Gausthof zum lowen restaurant because the food is very good and the wine selection is fantastic. Ten years later again, at 60, they agree to meet again at Gausthof zum lowen restaurant because its quiet. Ten years later again, at 70, they discuss were to meet, and again they agree at Gausthof zum lowen restaurant because they have wheel chair access. Ten years later at 80, they agree to meet at Gausthof zum lowen restaurant because they never been there before. hahahah
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Old 03-24-2010, 05:43 PM   #222
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This might be old/repost. oh well

4 Men In A Prison Cell

1 Rapist
1 Murderer
1 Psycho
1 Gay

Rapist : If there was a cat here i'd fuck it till it die.

Murderer : Once you're done with it , I'd torture it to death.

Psycho : Ooh Yeah and once it's dead , i'd fuck it till i die..

The Gay in the corner softly n slowly says :

Meeeowww..
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Old 03-25-2010, 01:14 PM   #223
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What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?


They both only change their pads after every third period!
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Old 03-25-2010, 01:31 PM   #224
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what happened to the frog that parked illegally?




it got toad.
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Old 03-25-2010, 01:36 PM   #225
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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
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