btw "fancy water jet sprayer" is called a bidet.

thank you for pointing out my ignorance.

I do have a bidet, but choose not to use it. Something just doesn't seem right about it.

origami crane - gives me something to do while im shitting

napkin fold mann

The mummy hahaha. Awesome.
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Right hand, 15 to 1, so far. Maybe it is the universal hand to wipe your ass with. I wAnder why that is? I wAnder if people from south of the equator uses left hand. Kind of like the way water drains the opposite way in Australia and parts south of the equator. Maybe it is the fact the toilet handle is on stage right? So many questions to be answered. I think the government should fund a report to be done on this very topic.

May you RIP, Thomas Crapper.

As a side note, my friend did a quick survey in one of his classes and it was 29 to 1 in favour of the right hand. The person who said left han had to, because his right arm was in a cast. The person claimed it was the worst 5 weeks of his life - trying to wipe with the other hand. You guys should try it. It is next to impossible.

^ You are waaay too interested in ass wiping my friend :)

until you have to take it off..........

Now that you mention it..............


I'm more interested in the method of wiping or lack thereof.

I guess it depends on the type of shit (what you ate beforehand).

Runny, little balls (like maltesers), captain's log, stringy (celery), etc.

Sometimes you have to pat instead of wiping which causes smearing. Oh then there's dingleberries (swolen hemeroidal tissues). I'm pretty hairy back there, so I have to be careful.

Preperation H or Tuck's wipes are so soothing. Did you know that stuff is made from sharks?

napkin fold ftw

Lean forward, right hand, times two lol. Generic method
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Another serious question:

When wiping, have you ever slipped and put your finger up your ass (varying degrees of depth)?
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best post ever

No, can't say I have. I'm a virgin and would like to keep it that way. My ass is so tight...............

Actually, I take that back. I'm not a virgin. I had two rectal exams. One thing you young guys can look forward to. The first time was this doctor who my wife worked for. Turned out he was a gay doctor, serving the gay community. Jeebuz, my wife could have told me, right? Anyway, he was not nice. Hurt like hell and I think he liked that. The second doctor was a urologist and he was awesome. Didn't hurt at all. In fact, as a joke, I asked him for a cigarrette afterwards. LOL.

Thankfully, no signs of prostrate cancer. Fucking hell, I have to get it checked every year. Since my move to Burnaby, I found a new doctor. A female doctor. A little on the old side, but not bad looking. I'm kinda looking forward to it - not!

BTW, if any of you have to get checked for prostrate cancer, make sure the doctor penetrates your poop chute with you lying on your side. Much less uncomfortable.

So there you have it. Slightly off topic, but educational. You can thank me when you're over 40.

You guys all take shitting for granted.

Shitting is an art and You spend a lot of time doing it. Plus it's my only alone time. I always considered the toilet as Man's best friend. :) Hence why I will splurge on redoing my toilet with TVs and a massive catalog of Magazines. :thumbsup:

I use the sea shells.
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ooooo......... we have a connoisseur. I wish I could find the time to do that watching and reading stuff. When I go, it is plop, wipe, thank you mam.

Shitting is an art, but analyzing your shit is just as important. Shit tells you what your body is going through.

If you have worms, blood, or green colour, go dirtectly to emergency. No shit, it's important to check your poo.

The biggest scare I had was when my poo came out blue one night. I thought I was going to die. My wife laughed and pointed out that I drank like 2 litres of Welches grape juice earlier on that day.:haha:

Worst poo besides diarrhea, is the sticky paste kind or the stringy kind where there are strings of undigested vegetable matter mixed in.


I love this thread! I think it is going down as one of 2010's best threads.

Actually, just looking at the shape of your shit tells a lot about your health. "S,C, J etc etc"

Really...............


In all my life, this has never happened to me until this Christmas. I took a really, really long one. Usually, the log breaks up or curls. This mother of all logs, stood straight up. Lower half into the drain and the rest straight out of the water.

Can this be like the old Chinese tea thing? Where it is good luck if your tea leaf/stem floats vertically in your cup?

Time to go buy some lottery tickets.

skyxx, you and I have to write a book on the mysterious powers of the shit. Shittness 101.

^ Indeed!

Anyway, I take like 2-3 shits a day. Apparently my doctor said it's fine.

Hey! He doesn't know how to use the three sea shells!

uhh

I mean, I see how that could be confusing...

Anyone notice sesame seed like things in their poop? Even if you haven't had any sesame seeds in a very long time?

And while you were on the topic, 89blkcivic, do you guys prefer having a same sex doctor? And if you have an opposite sex doctor, for the guys do you get a semi or full when she examines you?