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Originally Posted by spoon.ek9  what are everyone's thoughts on that nowadays? I'm not a parent yet but I feel like I would do things in tiers.
Tier 1: discussion, try to make them understand what they've done wrong
Tier 2: take away privileges as necessary (phone, tv, internet etc)
Tier 3: depending on age/situation of course, but if things escalate to this level I do think some punishment is necessary. Some kids just won't listen otherwise.
One crazy ass girl I was with briefly said she would never punish kids in anyway, shape or form. She was of the thinking that no matter what age, you can get them to understand (lol good fucking luck). She wouldn't even consider Tier 2 because she said it never worked on her growing up. |
Under 4 it's really hard to talk sense, especially if they are already at a state. You can't talk sense into a crying kid. You can't even talk sense into a crying adult half the time. Some kids can be scared into stop crying, but that's not a healthy precedent.
My concern typically is less with the punishment, but whether if you follow through with things. Every kid is going to get punished one way or another even if the parents say they don't. Any time you say no and have to take away something it's going to be a punishment to the kid unless it's anything goes in the household which I would find it hard to believe.
What really matters is there are consequences rather than punishment. Sometimes it's a natural consequence - I said to not throw the toy, and it's now broken because you hucked it clear across the living room. Or I asked them to sit down while eating ice cream otherwise they are going to knock their ice cream over, and lo and behold, the bowl ice cream is on the ground. The other side of that coin is artificial consequences. You can watch TV once you've completed these worksheets to the best of your ability, if the worksheets aren't finished then TV privileges are taken away for the week. We check retroactively after dinner giving them ample time to figure out their shit. This teaches self regulating responsibility and letting them learn to make their own decisions on how to time manage with simple tasks.
The natural consequences works for all ages, while the latter are more complex and works with older kids who have developed the sense of reason.
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