I'm in my 40's and there's a glut of single mothers out there on every dating platform that all "deserve the best and wont settle for less". Being a good mother and a good partner/person are completely different things imo. They may change about being less selfish in spending their time caring for a being dragged out of their vag but it doesn't necessarily permanently change their thoughts on what they "deserve" or will settle for from a partner. If they're materialistic cunts, A 1 bed condo will suffice til the kid is 1 or 2yrs old but there better be plans for a 1mil+ townhouse or a detached in a specific neighborhood by the time the kid reaches 3.

Seen it enough times when I did showings too lol. The men usually have the same wtf did i get myself into look and always try to say "hmm, not at this time as its out of the budget. let us think about it" while wifey rolls their eyes in a dramatic fashion. You can sometimes hear the bickering the moment that they walk out the door lol

I am blinded by makeup and fillers and I regret nothing................................... yet :ilied:

unnecessary flaunting. I hope your kids grow up to be as humble as you :heckno:

He literally cant help it. Every post has to either directly or indirectly involve his wealth.

Couple:
1 bedroom - "this is fine"

Couple with a tiny person:
We need detached house in the suburbs with at least 3 bedrooms in a good neighborhood an hour commute away from my office on a cul du sac an because it's safer oh and MINIVANNN!!! Also I need to stop working for 16 months.

I swear something breaks in your heads when you push out that little goblin.

Humility and self-sacrifice in the name of raising a child. Human qualities.

Materialistic losses...

----

I guess perspective is whatever you want it to be.

Kids won't always remember what you taught them but they will always remember who you are...

I don’t think any amount of wealth and material life would ever replace time of parents with kids. I grew up without my parents around and it’s one of the things I swear to myself to not repeat when I became one.

I never told my kids what I gave up to be a parent. I just always told them family is the most important thing in life. Which I believe that one day, when they become a parent themselves, it would be second nature for them to be around for their kids.

Savage :lol

It's not an easy decision, we've been together 6 years and were both seemingly on the same page about not having kids until this year. It probably doesn't help that some of her rich Asian girlfriends are in her ear saying "why you have no baby?".

I think that once she came to this decision of wanting a kid, and knowing where I stood on the subject she started to subconsciously change. Her tone changed with me, started posting way more on IG, nagging about things, going out clubbing and afterhours, also found out she was talking to a "friend" who she met at her girlfriends birthday, she was having daily text convos with this fella and telling him about our issues. I never go through any girl's phone, nor would let one go through mine, but I'd notice these conversations in the corner of my eye in bed, not recognizing the guy's name.

I confronted her about it recently and she gave me the answer that he's like a "brother" (a guy she's met twice) and that he was being supportive, that she was going to hook him up with one of her friends. I told her "Oh you're Tinder now?" :lol

I don't think anything actually happened personally, but I still look at that as emotional cheating to a degree, a shoulder to cry on can eventually become a dick to ride on. For example she told me she had told him about our recent trip to Phoenix and that we were seeing how it would go, to his response "I hope you find what you're looking for", that in itself didn't sound right to me. She's indicated she won't be texting this guy anymore.

I'm not getting into all the details here, but ultimately I just don't feel comfortable in our current dynamic to ever commit to having a kid right now. I grew up raised by a single mother, I've seen the difficulties of single parenting with one of my sisters, among others in my family, my GF's own sister is a single mother herself, much to her detriment.

I'm 40, have a good career, freedom to work wherever the hell I want, part of me doesn't want to sacrifice my lifestyle to accommodate this potential serious life changing decision. If we can't even agree and stop fighting about the issues now, what will this look like with a child in the mix? I don't want to be a single dad paying child support. I also want to retire in my early 60s if possible, I'm not sure that having a 20 year old at 60 would allow for that, I wouldn't want to see my kid go through the experiences and difficulties I had to go through at 20 years old, moving out at that age.

Anyways long diatribe, much to think about and land on. Sometimes loving someone might not be enough, I also don't want her resenting me if we end up staying together and not having a kid. I've been going to counseling to figure/sort this whole thing out, I guess we'll see what happens over the next while.

People dont make ultimatums unless they have plan B ready…
Also you are caught under common law GG

When they start posting more on IG they're ready to be single. It's actually crazy how many slide ins attractive girls get from a story.

That 2nd part is rough. It's not that you don't trust your partner, I'd feel cooked from a respect standpoint.

So true, so many relationships start from this too.

Common-law in B.C. isn't that costly

I mean there's always going to the store to get milk or cigarettes :ifyouknow:

From a respect standpoint that's some shady shit she's doing texting another dude like that. Even if she actually saw him as a brother, if she's half decent looking that dude is definitely trying to hit it so he's being the supportive guy waiting for his time to strike.