| westopher | 11-05-2025 02:44 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by SSM_DC5
(Post 9200775)
I've found couples (bf/gf, common law, or married) have different ways to handle the household finance, all which can work.
1. share all money in 1 bank
2. each person has separate accounts and then 1 joint account
3. each person maintains their separate account
the general goal that's met is that the main bills, like shelter, food and utilities is paid for then all is good with no need to know exactly how much the other is making.
I need to make some assumptions for this scenario.
1) everything is done between the 3 of you and zero help from friends and in-laws.
2) your wife is 0700-1900 for Day shift and 1900-0700 for Night shift.
3) your flexible for what days your work, but you work 10 hours straight and can't just walk away to do something for the kid and go back to work.
So in the scenario, it's a weekday, kid has daycare 9am-5pm, your wife has a day shift is out the door by 6am and home by 8pm. Wife's got zero opportunity to help with pickup/dropoff for the kid, that leaves you only. You drop off the kid at 830am, then head to work to start your 10 hours at 9am, It's now 7pm, but you were suppose to pick up your kid 2 hours ago from daycare. This scenario is even worse when the kid is in elementary school because they're out at 3pm. You'd be 4 hours late to pick them up.
In the scenario where your wife works a night shift is a little easier to make work but it's rough on her. So she works the night, gets off at 0700, stays awake to drop off kid for 9am, go home, eat, shower, sleep, then get up again to pick up for 5pm, stay awake and get ready to go again for night shift. When it's elementary school, that sleep time decreases by 2 hours to pick up at 3pm instead, but she's likely to still stay awake until she needs to return to work at night.
I'd be interested in hearing how the timing of things works for you in real life.
It seems common for 2 parents who work 8 hours a day mon-fri have offset start times, so 1 parent does the drop off and the other does the pick up.
| I’m the boss at work which helps. I’ve structured things in a way that I can walk at any time and we can at least get by. That goes for any of the staff as well.
Our daycare is 7-6, which is the only way we can do it.
I start work at 7-730 depending on if I do drop off or not.
When elementary school starts we will rely of getting into these after school care that have the hours we need, or perhaps just die. Cross that bridge when we get there.
Options are:
Nanny share with friends
Parents in our complex who have friends who are the same age and will be going to same school, and we will do the same for them.
There’s a girl who will be in the same school as our kid who’s 12 and babysitter for basically everyone. She does afterschool care and walk homes with the kids currently at her school, which is a couple.
Whatever it is, we will figure it out. At least mondays and Tuesdays will never be a problem for me, and likely at least 2 days my wife will be able to sort it out. It’s a juggling act for sure, but if we were 9-5 and she’s off at 3 we’re fucked anyways without all those things so it’s not like we’d be any better off.
As far as sleep time, when she’s on night shift there’s only one day she needs to sleep all day, between nights, and she sleeps from 9-3. Most nights nurses get to sleep 2 hours if they get their breaks. If not tough shit. I sleep max 6 hours a night so she can get by on it too once in a while and she agrees with that. | 