"Damn Liberals!!!" :derp:

I mean if railroad is even cutting then you know the economy is the toilet. Railroad is the backbone of Canadian industry as our biggest competitive advantage was being the cheap entry into the USA. That’s why people imported into Canada. It’s faster and cheaper than going to LA or Tacoma with shorter transit times to the mid west.

If I remember my logistics, prince rupert is the fastest way to move asian goods from ship to rail to chicago, the hub of logistics and commodities in north america. And CN rail exclusively owns that line and if their financials are taking a hit... gulp.

On a side note, the drive from terrace to prince rupert following the skeena river is one of the most beautiful drives in BC, no need to go to norway.

Ditto.

I did the drive from Terrace to PR following the Skeena many years ago for a work project. Super beautiful.

Fun fact, Los Angeles is on the same longitude as Jasper, AB.

I'm in LA next week :fuckyea:

BIC is right about nurses.

With lots of OT my GF pulls in about roughly $10K after taxes a month, yet still lives pay cheque to pay cheque.

We're going through a lot of drama right now that I probably shouldn't talk about on this forum. She's recently put an ultimatum that I need to decide on agreeing to have a kid by end of this year, meanwhile she's $40K in credit card debt and has no savings whatsoever for a down payment. I've saved quite a lot and if we did have a child, we'd have to upgrade to a 2BR, meaning she would need to not only pay off her debt, but also save up a down payment.

She thinks that's possible in less than a year to achieve all that, while still living her lifestyle of spending money frivolously, going to raves and EDM shows, and so forth. I don't feel comfortable whatsoever agreeing to this demand, and we can't seem to agree on anything. Thus here we are in purgatory, and it's beginning to feel like this is coming to an end.

It's tough right now. I've been very depressed the last few months here.

I really don't understand how my nurse friends are in some other corner of the world every week
I thought I travelled a ton, 70k flying miles this year, pretty savvy with credit card points, have some pilot friends to put me on standby with United / JetBlue....
Then I look at my nurse friends and they at least double my annual flying mileage.

Also, my sister making 70-90k CAD lives a pretty interesting life, saved 200k and bought a pre-sale 1BR at Richmond Center for 7xxk, carries the whole thing on her own.
Her attitude was "I need a pre-marital asset so my boyfriend doesn't take half".
Relationships are more complicated than that, but it's definitely out there.

Thats rough Mikey.

I think she needs to get her financial house in order first before bringing another mouth to feed into your family dynamic. Kids arent cheap, if shes struggling pay cheque to pay cheque, what the hell is the kid going to do to her?

This isnt good. you cant build a strong family on a house of cards.

agreeing to have a kid by the end of the year? that's like 2 months away...
if you're feeling this way and you have 2 months to make that decision.... i'd say walk away.
you shouldnt feel pressured into making a decision like that with such short notice, nevermind her debt issues.

https://youtu.be/ET9eUwJOvSI?si=Q-OsnxpfrsagIPvO

I watch this guy a lot. The diary of the ceo guy. Lots of interesting stuff.

This sort of applies to you Mikey

It's because she turns 38 in December, so she feels like she's "wasting her time" if I'm not on board with kids.

I've never really wanted kids, but I've softened up on the idea over the last while, I'd really be agreeing to it more for her, than myself.

When I've spoken about her spending and how difficult it will be when she's on maternity leave, while going into a new mortgage, without doing the financials ahead of time, show me your plan. She just says "there's never a good time to have kids, you just need to do it".

She's made this idea that she'll work a bunch of OT and pay off her $40K in credit card debt in the span of the next few months, then save a portion of her down payment thereafter.

Recently she's gotten into going to DJ shows, and afterhours, almost like a midlife crisis of sorts. A few days ago she tells me she's going to Contact Festival in December, tickets are $300, while she's already going to some other EDM show the same month at the PNE @ $150 a ticket.

I was gob smacked that she'd think it makes sense to spend money on these shows while staring at that much debt. All I could think of is the arguments we'll have if a kid is in the picture and the real financial issues arise. At least right now our finances are separate, I could care less what she throws her money at.

It just feels like we're not on the same page whatsoever, the kid ultimatum is stressing me out because I know I can't agree to this, but at the same time I do love her, it just all feels like we're both waiting to end things.

It feels like subconsciously she's made that switch in her head, the way she talks to me now is so damn disrespectful, any conversation escalates so easily now, old me would never put up with it, but here we are.

I'm bloody miserable right now.

It’s pretty easy to be objective when it’s not your relationship. Real life goes way beyond that objectivity.
Do you want kids at all? If so you could always ultimatum the ultimatum. Pay off that debt in 6 months, or half or whatever and it’s worth considering.
If you don’t want kids at all it sounds like this won’t change for her, and it’s not gonna work, but if you do then it’s worth talking it out to come to a compromise if possible.
I caved a bit early tbh. I didn’t feel like we were prepared, but I am glad I caved because it probably never would have happened otherwise and the age lined up to actually make pretty good sense. I’m glad I’m not like 45 with a newborn. That would be rough. The energy kids take is insane.
I agree there’s never a good time, it’s the same thing my mom said to me when I asked her about it, but there certainly are MUCH WORSE times to have a kid. And being in massive consumer debt is for sure one of them.
One other thing I think she needs to realize, is you better be ready to chill out before you have a kid.
The party has to stop well before IMO. We were already toned way down and pretty domesticated when we decided it was time. Not going out every weekend and shit.

We have a work effort + efficiency inequality

ya i think that's a good idea, at least ask her to prove that she can take care of like 20k of her debt in 6 months to show that she's capable of paying off the entire thing in a year, then you can have the kid talk again. there's no way she can do it without a lifestyle change. if she's burning like 20k a year or something on her credit cards, for her to pay off 20k is like a 40k deficit in spending.. not an easy thing to do but it would show that she's serious about moving into the next step of adulthood/parenthood.

At least my boy mike is shredded

Fr though, we had this exact convo yesterday at golf. We debated whether we truly loved our partner and saw a future with them if we didn't want to
- Pay off their $30-70K Student Loan or CC debt
- Pay for an entire Wedding solo for $30-60K
- Cover a Down Payment of $150-400K solo because they had minimal savings and low income. They'd take 5-7 years to even save $100K, meaning we'll be 35-37 by that time.

We talked about whether it meant we don't love our partners or see them long term. One dude had to do all 3 but she a 9/10 :awwyeah:

Then we debated about whether the value mismatch is a deal breaker. Growth oriented vs whatever happens happens, it'll all workout.

I really liked his podcasts and I agree the relationships are an economy. Datings never been better if you have it all figured out and marriage makes no sense for most guys.

Will scope the crowd for big mike at Chris Lake BrokeBack

So true. One day you're the one they want to marry and they'll do all the things you like. Then a switch happens in her brain and you lose her respect. She will feel as though she hasn't been happy with you for a long time and become snappy at every little thing.

It's way easier to restart than to get someone to respect / like you again once it's gone.

^I appreciate it Gerbs, I feel like I've been sitting with my mentors talking about this a lot over the last few months.

Where did you land on the topic?

If we breakup I definitely won't go to Chris Lake :lol

I haven't even been in the mood to do fuck all as of late, when I'm depressed I recluse, she's the opposite.

9/10 ?! She better do anal too.

Love and marriage shouldn’t be related to finances but you’re also an idiot if you don’t look at your future partners spending / financial literacy. They have to be compatible with yours.

If you’re a cheap Jew and this girl is a hamas spending wallet terrorist. You better leave the wedding strip alone.

Emotional dudes
- If you won't do this for them, you don't love them
- The day you don't compromise you don't love them
- If it doesn't work they're gonna be a degen and bang all the whores in Shanghai/Vietnam as a senior

Logical dudes
- This is a value dealbreaker if you have a mismatch in worth ethics and future lifestyle
- Pre-nup and YOLO
- I'd keep searching if options are good and I'm not in a rush to have kids

I said something on the lines of

Use your brain for
- finances
- career
- lifestyle
- friends

Use your heart for
- dating
- where you wanna live
- hobbies

In this generation, they do everything if they like ya enough

I know there's only very limited information provided and i'm sure there is significantly more context to this, so take this with a grain of salt...

but based on what's been said, it feels like someone who knows she's not financially in a good place, that would be way worse on her own, and is trying to lock down a partner to secure her own future. if she's someone that could pay off her debt in 2 months, she wouldn't be in this position to begin with, unless you're telling me she's been choosing to carry $40k in credit card debt all this time. She knows that the only way to pay this off is if you help.

You don't need to share with us, but I think it's time to ask yourself some serious questions. if you were to pay down the debt, upgrade to a larger place, strap yourself to a bigger mortgage, and have to afford a kid, do you think she'd be different in who she is and how she manages her finances? would she still be running off to raves/festivals and leaving responsibilities to you? even if she says she won't and that she'll change, do you truly believe it? if she was single today, what would she be like and how would you see that as a partner to start a family with? are you her financial safety net? does it feel like you are equal partners in building a relationship (or family)?

RevScene dudes:

- Do you do anal? If not, GTFO.

That sounded so wrong.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this mike. I'm glad to see that you're at least taking a thoughtful approach to this fork in the road. It's not easy to just cut loose if you have a lot of emotions invested - it's a shame that your girlfriend doesn't seem to see that you actually care.

I've been married over 11 years. To the single guys out there, find a woman who has their finances in order, is well-respected in the community and peers, and treat her well. They're out there if you look beyond the makeup and fillers. A good woman is the key to your own professional growth, and your physical and mental well-being too.

Absolutely. My wife is the reason I’m where I’m at in my career. She couldn’t stand me working in the midnight piss, doing some blue collar conductor job. She encouraged me to go into management, then the port gig, and she’s constantly pushing me to strive for higher things (i tell her to shut the fuck up all the time, but the midget’s constant nagging has its uses). Yeah she comes from some serious money, but I haven’t spent a dime of hers. All the while i allow her to take all the money she wants from me, I don’t care. She’s my wife, she’s my everything. She can take whatever she wants.

I think for the most part your core values has to absolutely align. If it doesn’t, finances are the least of your concerns.