Vancouver area teen commits suicide after telling story of being cyberbullied

[iEatClams]

It's very hard to do. But we need to change the culture of highschools where bullying isnt accepted and kids that watch kids being bullied should step in or tell others to stop bullying. It needs to be done collectively, in numbers.

More often then not people are afraid to step in because they dont want the bullies to turn their attention to them and become the new victim. Or they are afraid of being called a "RAT" etc.

however if a group intervenes instead of a single individual, then it becomes much harder for the bully to go up against the group.

[iEatClams]

I cant remember where I saw it on TV, but a group of jocks (school atheletes) would see someone getting bullied and intervene to help the Victim. This type of message should be promoted more.

However more realistically, it may be jocks that do the bullying/hazing etc.

[Hondaracer]

IMO a lot of bullying is perpetuated and snowballs by current society

As bad as it might sound, if you don't want to be singled out, conform.

When your 15 and think your gay and you come to school looking as gay as Christmas with loop earrings and pink streaks in your hair, you've got a target on your chest for everyone to see

Sadly other aspects like being poor, appearance, etc are also easy targets but I find a lot if these cases these people who are bullied set themselves up for bullying

It's tough shit out there, I was never bullied and we had a huge group of friends in HS but even now not even 10 years later shit is way different
Posted via RS Mobile

[mr_chin]

RIP

But this sounds nothing like bullying. Where did the bullying part come in?

First, when she was 10, she loves webcamming. She fell victim to online sex predators and unfortunately got her boob pics taken.

She did not seek help here.

Got blackmailed by a random guy about putting on a show for him or else he'll post pics of her boob. I assumed she did.

She did not seek help here. If she did, the guy would be arrested for child sex abuse.

Met a guy at school, knew he had a GF, still went to his house to fuck. GF came to school to seek her out and kicked her ass, did she deserved it? Yes.

Moved, and continue to go on facebook to read offensive comments.

Didn't delete facebook and all online related accounts. Sad, but every step of the way, she initiated and made the bad choice. Her temptation of being accepted in society has played the part in her suicide.

Bullying is unacceptable. But in everyday world, bullying happens. Be it serious or sarcastically, it's there. That is why it's important to teach kids these days that there will be times in life that they have to deal with it, and not run away from it.

It's kinda ironic that she encourages people to stay strong yet she commit suicide. Kinda sets a bad example of the message she is trying to send out.

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

RIP

But this sounds nothing like bullying. Where did the bullying part come in?

First, when she was 10, she loves webcamming. She fell victim to online sex predators and unfortunately got her boob pics taken.

She did not seek help here.

Got blackmailed by a random guy about putting on a show for him or else he'll post pics of her boob. I assumed she did.

She did not seek help here. If she did, the guy would be arrested for child sex abuse.

Met a guy at school, knew he had a GF, still went to his house to fuck. GF came to school to seek her out and kicked her ass, did she deserved it? Yes.

Moved, and continue to go on facebook to read offensive comments.

Didn't delete facebook and all online related accounts. Sad, but every step of the way, she initiated and made the bad choice. Her temptation of being accepted in society has played the part in her suicide.

Bullying is unacceptable. But in everyday world, bullying happens. Be it serious or sarcastically, it's there. That is why it's important to teach kids these days that there will be times in life that they have to deal with it, and not run away from it.

It's kinda ironic that she encourages people to stay strong yet she commit suicide. Kinda sets a bad example of the message she is trying to send out.

Or you could say she was a naive teenaged girl.

So basically, a kids dead, and your words on the subject are: suck it up, princess.

I don't know about you guys, but I think the point here is kids will go to any length to hide these things from people. That's the lesson here. There's your take-away. People are going to have to read between the lines.

And here's another thing: kids are off'ing themselves over bullying-singling out that bullying is the root cause at an alarming rate.

I think we're a little past "suck it up".

[Noir]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

It's kinda ironic that she encourages people to stay strong yet she commit suicide. Kinda sets a bad example of the message she is trying to send out.

Ironically, believe it or not but you also have to be pretty strong to commit suicide.

I know the cliche of suicide is that of "the cowards way out" or the "taking the easy solution to problems" but you have to have one hell of a mindset, and the ability to commit to be able to turn off that intrinsic and involuntary sense of "self-preservation."

However she got her motivation and/or strength to stare death right in the eyes, I'm going to assume that bullying is really only partially to blame. IMO, it only served as a catalyst. If I'm going to guess, what motivated her or gave her strength to do it, is the utter loneliness that comes WITH bullying. Being marked or tagged socially as an outcast. Being treated sub-human or perhaps non-existent; living life as a social leper.




At least that's my personal opinion. I'd rather get beat up than live a life with no-friends at all; or devoid of a social life. I guess I'm making this conclusion because I think the last few cards of her video says it all.

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by Gridlock

Or you could say she was a naive teenaged girl.

So basically, a kids dead, and your words on the subject are: suck it up, princess.

I don't know about you guys, but I think the point here is kids will go to any length to hide these things from people. That's the lesson here. There's your take-away. People are going to have to read between the lines.

And here's another thing: kids are off'ing themselves over bullying-singling out that bullying is the root cause at an alarming rate.

I think we're a little past "suck it up".

"You asked for it" is more like it.

I don't mean it in a cruel way but it is what it is. To me, she seems more tormented being here. To a lot of people, death might seems like a tragic thing, but if she believes that she's better off gone, then so be it. The problem here is how you view it.

I think two other things can be blamed.

One, her choices, and two, the internet. But the root of it is definitely not bullying, but rather her parents.

Ironically, believe it or not but you also have to be pretty strong to commit suicide.

I know the cliche of suicide is that of "the cowards way out" or the "taking the easy solution to problems" but you have to have one hell of a mindset, and the ability to commit to be able to turn off that intrinsic and involuntary sense of "self-preservation."

However she got her motivation and/or strength to stare death right in the eyes, I'm going to assume that bullying is really only partially to blame. IMO, it only served as a catalyst. If I'm going to guess, what motivated her or gave her strength to do it, is the utter loneliness that comes WITH bullying. Being marked or tagged socially as an outcast. Being treated sub-human or perhaps non-existent; living life as a social leper.




At least that's my personal opinion. I'd rather get beat up than live a life with no-friends at all; or devoid of a social life. I guess I'm making this conclusion because I think the last few cards of her video says it all.

That is true. I think her age also plays a role in her willingness to give up life. Her span of life is very short, so she can't see very far and not much behind. And because of that, the events of her life slowly drain the short life out of her. If she had a been a little older, than her will on life would be stronger.

I am kinda opposite of you when it comes to social acceptance. I could go out every day by myself and do everything by myself and prefer it that way. Not that I am depressed or anti-social.

[Ronith]

Wow, you are a giant POS.

Sad world we live in...

[Iceman-19]

Just saw on the news that the RCMP is investigating her death and the people involved. Maybe some justice will be served.
Posted via RS Mobile

[rsx]

with a name like Todd Packer, can we expect anything less.

[SiRV]

Don't know how I'd be able to raise a child in the current type of environment kids grow up in. One of my colleagues get phone calls from her son when he's being bullied... and the kid is in grade ONE. I wonder if there is a rule against going to a school and telling these punks off before they become bigger, badder bullies

[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by SiRV

Don't know how I'd be able to raise a child in the current type of environment kids grow up in. One of my colleagues get phone calls from her son when he's being bullied... and the kid is in grade ONE. I wonder if there is a rule against going to a school and telling these punks off before they become bigger, badder bullies

When I have a kid I'm gonna teach him/her to tell the teacher everything when they're bullied. At the dinner table every night, he/she will be asked how is his/her day at school. Basically teach how to openly express their problems and ignore/avoid bullies. Build a good connection with your kid and all their problems with then real will be shared with you, if not, at least you will be able to sense it.

[westopher]

As hard as you can try and parent, it can still happen. Some people are literally mentally wired to be unhappy, and usually the unhappiest people are the best actors.

Originally Posted by mr_chin

Bullying is unacceptable. But in everyday world, bullying happens. Be it serious or sarcastically, it's there. That is why it's important to teach kids these days that there will be times in life that they have to deal with it, and not run away from it.

I can't agree more with this. Bullying isn't going to stop, and in many instances the term bullied is being thrown around fairly loosely. When is the line drawn between bullying and someone just being an asshole? You are going to have to deal with assholes your whole life. Your boss, family members, people in your social circles. As I said before the focus of the educating about the issues should focus more on not allowing people to be victimized. Teaching kids about standing up for themselves, and removing themselves from the situations. The fact is though, its unfortunate, but there will always be someone who has the "better off dead" thought in their head, and as much as the blame gets thrown around, the person who decides to slit their wrists, take a bottle of pills, or put a bullet in their head, ultimately, is responsible for that choice.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

lol if bullying happens in the adult world, what makes you guys think it will ever stop in kids?

[Lomac]

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma

lol if bullying happens in the adult world, what makes you guys think it will ever stop in kids?

Have to make a start somewhere. It's kinda like racism. There's not a lot in the way of helping the older generation when it comes to it, but I like to believe that the majority of today's kids/gen-x'ers have a completely different mentality towards it.

[spyker]

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma

lol if bullying happens in the adult world, what makes you guys think it will ever stop in kids?

Well you see,if you stop kids from bullying other kids at a young age,they will not carry on that type of behavior into adulthood.

It's like a 16 year old kid who starts to smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol,if you stop them soon enough at that age,there is a very high chance he/she will not smoke or become alcohol dependant as a adult.

[F30]

Originally Posted by mr_chin

I am kinda opposite of you when it comes to social acceptance. I could go out every day by myself and do everything by myself and prefer it that way. Not that I am depressed or anti-social.

If you truly prefer to be by yourself and alone, that is anti-social. Maybe you meant something else.

While there is a school of thought that one should harden up, teens are vulnerable to social acceptance pressures (including cyber bullying) more than adults, maybe it is hormonal, maybe it is just part of growing up... so "suck it up princess" attitude you seem to have doesn't sit very well with me.

This is a sad story and the girl deserves our sympathy, if you don't feel it... if you are unconcerned for the feelings of others, if you disregard social norms...

I'm likely reading too much into your posts, which came off as if you are shifting blame to this teen when we (society) failed to save her life.

[sh0n]

RIP Amanda Todd and condolences to her family.

Here's how I see and take it.

Amanda made the choices she did and as a result it is what it is.

On the tail end.
Where were her parents to monitor and stop all this from happening? If you watched the video it mentioned that "She (Amanda) moved to a new school to her Mom's" - I'm assuming that her parents are maybe divorced. I don't want to play the blame game or anything but very often people turn out how they are based on their own upbringing and their family situation.

Her Mother Carole: The Vancouver Sun interview said she was a teacher working in the Coquitlam school district. HELLO!!!!!! You're a teacher by trade and work you know all the in's and out's of how kids, students behavior are and you can't even get your daughter straight?. Things like these you need to rectify it immediately and open communication (like daily rapport between kids and parents). If you leave them alone and don't communicate god knows what they do behind close doors, on the computer, whatever.

The entire school system from Teachers, Principals, Counselors, Administrators needs to relearn and adopt a zero tolerance to bullying.
Plans and systems should be devised for this.

Would it kill for the teachers to spend the first few days of the school year to talk about bullying (ingrain it in the students head and use it as your disclaimer).

A need for harsher laws against bullying - If you decide to bully and get caugt you'll have huge consequences (expelled from school, bad record on their education report, public harassment - let the bully feel how it feels to get bulled and humiliated). Repeat and rinse as needed every few months as a fresher course for their students every few months. This may seem pretty impartial or barbaric but there's no way to sugar coat it one way or the other.

[parm104]

Originally Posted by sh0n

RIP Amanda Todd and condolences to her family.

Here's how I see and take it.

Amanda made the choices she did and as a result it is what it is.

On the tail end.
Where were her parents to monitor and stop all this from happening? If you watched the video it mentioned that "She (Amanda) moved to a new school to her Mom's" - I'm assuming that her parents are maybe divorced. I don't want to play the blame game or anything but very often people turn out how they are based on their own upbringing and their family situation.

Her Mother Carole: The Vancouver Sun interview said she was a teacher working in the Coquitlam school district. HELLO!!!!!! You're a teacher by trade and work you know all the in's and out's of how kids, students behavior are and you can't even get your daughter straight?. Things like these you need to rectify it immediately and open communication (like daily rapport between kids and parents). If you leave them alone and don't communicate god knows what they do behind close doors, on the computer, whatever.

The entire school system from Teachers, Principals, Counselors, Administrators needs to relearn and adopt a zero tolerance to bullying.
Plans and systems should be devised for this.

Would it kill for the teachers to spend the first few days of the school year to talk about bullying (ingrain it in the students head and use it as your disclaimer).

A need for harsher laws against bullying - If you decide to bully and get caugt you'll have huge consequences (expelled from school, bad record on their education report, public harassment - let the bully feel how it feels to get bulled and humiliated). Repeat and rinse as needed every few months as a fresher course for their students every few months. This may seem pretty impartial or barbaric but there's no way to sugar coat it one way or the other.

Fully AGREED and in an ideal world, looking at those issues would be the best way to approach this. But let's be realistic, in the public school system, a system where teachers are already complaining and crying about having to do extra-curricular activities, you cannot rely on them to take care of your kids. At this point, they're there to administer education and the rest is up to the parents. As long as kids aren't literally killing each other on their watch, the school system thinks they're doing their job right.

[sh0n]

Originally Posted by parm104

Fully AGREED and in an ideal world, looking at those issues would be the best way to approach this. But let's be realistic, in the public school system, a system where teachers are already complaining and crying about having to do extra-curricular activities, you cannot rely on them to take care of your kids. At this point, they're there to administer education and the rest is up to the parents. As long as kids aren't literally killing each other on their watch, the school system thinks they're doing their job right.

I totally agree too. It's hard with all the duties and responsibilities of the teachers.

But what is it to do if we just ask to take that 1 day in the beginning of the school year, some time throughout the school year (if bullying gets worse) or even a special school assembly.

The students are there but it's the teachers that sets an example, and a driving force to the behavior of the kids.

[FerrariEnzo]

wow.. if I ever meet that dude that kept blackmailing her.. Id kick his ass for being a retard.. then kick his ass again for doing that to her...

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by sh0n

A need for harsher laws against bullying - If you decide to bully and get caugt you'll have huge consequences (expelled from school, bad record on their education report, public harassment - let the bully feel how it feels to get bulled and humiliated). Repeat and rinse as needed every few months as a fresher course for their students every few months. This may seem pretty impartial or barbaric but there's no way to sugar coat it one way or the other.

Well, I'll say one thing that's needed is actual discipline in schools.

I think its become very apparent that this hippie dippy, can only discipline a child with strong, encouraging words and everyone's a winner attitude is raising some fucked up kids.

[Hondaracer]

Bullying 2012 is the new Kony?

[MindBomber]

Originally Posted by Hondaracer

Bullying 2012 is the new Kony?

Bullying has been actively discussed for years; Kony began and ended within a week....

I also think that social media has the capability of lowering rates of bullying over the long term.... social media has a direct impact on students in average suburban schools, not so much on African warlords and the people who support them.

Originally Posted by Gridlock

I think its become very apparent that this hippie dippy, can only discipline a child with strong, encouraging words and everyone's a winner attitude is raising some fucked up kids.

When I was spoken to for bullying in HS, I was told that any incidents following the discussion would lead to an immediate expulsion. It's also noted on my record. Can't get much tougher than that...

I should note, I was never actually a bully; a VP witnessed what he perceived as bullying, but really it was one of a series of practical jokes occurring within my group of friends.

[Mozo]

sad story, rip Amanda