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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
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i still think we should hold a anti bullying meet ? maybe bad idea?
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If you truly prefer to be by yourself and alone, that is anti-social. Maybe you meant something else.
While there is a school of thought that one should harden up, teens are vulnerable to social acceptance pressures (including cyber bullying) more than adults, maybe it is hormonal, maybe it is just part of growing up... so "suck it up princess" attitude you seem to have doesn't sit very well with me.
This is a sad story and the girl deserves our sympathy, if you don't feel it... if you are unconcerned for the feelings of others, if you disregard social norms...
I'm likely reading too much into your posts, which came off as if you are shifting blame to this teen when we (society) failed to save her life.
Anti socials are people who can't social with others in public, or don't have any friends because they don't like to have conversation with people.
I think everyone is vulnerable to social acceptance. That is why everyone has a facebook account and instagram. To what extent is another question.
This is just another tragic story of a girl's life. Everything that led up to her suicide was initiated by her. Destiny and fate didn't even play a role in this. So I don't see why "RIP" is not even enough.
Bullying alone did not made her commit suicide. So let's all stop blaming bullying as the #1 problem. If I directed horror movies and people started committing suicide because they are terrified, is my movie to be blamed? No. It's their weak mind and their unwillingness to accept reality to deal with the issue at hand.
My other post already stated who and what is to be blamed in these order, her parents, her choices, and the internet.
And a little off topic, but why do we see death as tragedy and sad? I mean, if the person's life was taken by another person or was killed through accidents and disaster, then it's tragedy. But she decided to go, willingly. It's obvious that she was in torment being in this world, so shouldn't we be a little happy for her now that she's in a better place? I am.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shon
A need for harsher laws against bullying - If you decide to bully and get caugt you'll have huge consequences (expelled from school, bad record on their education report, public harassment - let the bully feel how it feels to get bulled and humiliated). Repeat and rinse as needed every few months as a fresher course for their students every few months. This may seem pretty impartial or barbaric but there's no way to sugar coat it one way or the other.
I can see where you are headed. A problem comes up, you found your root of the problem, and let's tackle it all together in a no exceptional way. But let's step back and think for a minute. You put these rules and regulations in school and you will see students just being expelled left and right. School don't have a justice system so if a kid goes crying to the principle that another kid bullied him, the suspect is in for a trouble without questions asked. Another student perception of bullying made not be the same for everyone else. You are basically saying, if a student is found bullying, there is no chance for him/her to change. Imagine this, but for our justice system. Everyone is to be executed or deported if found guilty of verbal/workplace/sexual/physical harassment.
If this is the case, then you will see the next generation of children being spoiled and incapable of dealing with problems because all they have to do is go tell the teacher and every problems is solved. What we need to teach is how to stand up to bullying. How to not let words bring a child down. How to deal with prejudice and stereotypes. That self acceptance, acknowledgement, and confidence is more important than what other see and say about them.
Sick of hearing of this story. I'd rather hear of the success stories of people who dealt with cyber bullying and can honestly tell the tale of how they get through it. From what I've seen, amanda's cyber bullying is light. She was a gorgeous teenager who was way to promiscuous. She could have solved her problem by shutting off the computer and reporting the sick fool who was posting her cp everywhere(How can someone get away with that in this age?) If she was bullied non stop for stuff she didn't do(Her appearance, her financial situation, her lack of friends, her virginity if she didn't lose it at a very discriminating age.) Then I'd have a lot more sympathy for the kid. all I'm saying is that there are cases out there of teen suicide/cyber bullying that are far harsher then this, I really wish those cases seen the light of day. Apparently it's a very big problem, but this is the first major case I've seen since that teenager anhero'd because someone stole his ipod.
Sick of hearing of this story. I'd rather hear of the success stories of people who dealt with cyber bullying and can honestly tell the tale of how they get through it. From what I've seen, amanda's cyber bullying is light. She was a gorgeous teenager who was way to promiscuous. She could have solved her problem by shutting off the computer and reporting the sick fool who was posting her cp everywhere(How can someone get away with that in this age?) If she was bullied non stop for stuff she didn't do(Her appearance, her financial situation, her lack of friends, her virginity if she didn't lose it at a very discriminating age.) Then I'd have a lot more sympathy for the kid. all I'm saying is that there are cases out there of teen suicide/cyber bullying that are far harsher then this, I really wish those cases seen the light of day. Apparently it's a very big problem, but this is the first major case I've seen since that teenager anhero'd because someone stole his ipod.
If that's what you guys call way too promiscuous... I really really feel sorry for your sex lives.
And a little off topic, but why do we see death as tragedy and sad? I mean, if the person's life was taken by another person or was killed through accidents and disaster, then it's tragedy. But she decided to go, willingly. It's obvious that she was in torment being in this world, so shouldn't we be a little happy for her now that she's in a better place? I am.
Way off topic but ... How do you know she is in a better place?
Depression is a very serious illness, so when you say: "she decided to go, willingly" I disagree.
I am sad because I feel there was something someone could and should have done to get Amanda on a better path, to make her experience friendships and genuine happiness. Yet it didn't happen and she thought dying was better than living - before she had the chance to truly experience how wonderful life can be. How can you say that is not a tragedy? How can you be "happy" for her?
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the struggles of a teenager in todays social are immense. though some of you are still teens, and i speak as if im way older, it was only a generation ago i was a teen myself. but the amount of social media, outside influences, stress and pressure on everyone and including the parents of teens which is probably a cause of why there isnt always open communication between the peers, contribute to teen sucide.
thinking back in highschool, they had a program that taught you a bit of financial responsibility. ultimately it gave a glimpse of what to face in the future, an idea of "balancing the cheque book." is there a program in place nowadays for teens when it comes to straight out "how to deal with society, your emotions, and the little voice inside that pushes the oddness of hormonal imbalance we call puberty? sex ed taught you the hardware, but did nothing to educate, or identify what media and society have in store for you. thinking back now, sex ed class back then was actually tame compared to what you face just stepping outside these days.
sad to see another younger person give in to the ultimate decision of ending their own life.
there may be a lot of things set in place for teens to go to if need help, but nothing set in place to prevent a teen from deciding down that path.
on that note, with the onslaught of bullying, cyberbullying, and all the gov't money spent on preventing it, i dont think anything has changed. sure the commercials and quick 2mins of night time news has made it more aware. but the affects of it, i find, are less effective than the network announcing the new season of big bang theory, which addressed bullying on many episodes might i add.
bullying will always be there. no definitive solution. it stems too deep. cant put a band-aid over it, cant put pretty flowers and bright lights around it, nothing will fix it.
i donno about you guys, but the first question i get from my own parents is, "you coming home from work just now?! you went to work almost 12 hours ago!?"
everyone these days are working harder, and for less $$$ (relative to the cost of staying alive)
for our previous generations, for them to admit that, and to see that, i hear a lot less whining from them now as they realize they themselves had it way better off. though they made 1/2 or even 1/4 of what we make nowadays in direct $$$ amount, the cost of living is 5 times more, thus scale and % wise, the amount of take home after spending and living, is much less.
and so yes, i agree with your statement.
Quote:
Originally Posted by parm104
Fully AGREED and in an ideal world, looking at those issues would be the best way to approach this. But let's be realistic, in the public school system, a system where teachers are already complaining and crying about having to do extra-curricular activities, you cannot rely on them to take care of your kids. At this point, they're there to administer education and the rest is up to the parents. As long as kids aren't literally killing each other on their watch, the school system thinks they're doing their job right.
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I looked at a few of the Facebook pages they have for her. I am amazed the things people are posting even after the fact she is gone. They are still being cruel and laying into her.
I like how they point out she made mistakes and thats what lead to the bully crap.
And no one else has ever made mistakes? And who told the bullies they could be her judge and jury and hand out her punishment? I guess those bullies are perfect and never made any mistakes. It takes more effort to be a bully then it does to ignore someone and walk away.
I looked at a few of the Facebook pages they have for her. I am amazed the things people are posting even after the fact she is gone. They are still being cruel and laying into her.
I like how they point out she made mistakes and thats what lead to the bully crap.
And no one else has ever made mistakes? And who told the bullies they could be her judge and jury and hand out her punishment? I guess those bullies are perfect and never made any mistakes. It takes more effort to be a bully then it does to ignore someone and walk away.
Why are you surprised? Just read some of the shit that's been posted in this thread.
What I find interesting is that people are presenting the idea that the parents didn't do enough as if the parents themselves aren't thinking it themselves. Oh, and they get the added benefit of thinking that for the rest of their lives.
And for anyone that is thinking that cyber-bullying isn't all that serious and she should have been able to endure it, think about how easy it is to say some of the things in this thread. Would some of the people be as able to say it in person? To her, to her parents? I doubt it.
I think people need to realize that what is said on a computer may be emotionally removed for the typist, but the words can be very hurtful to those on the receiving end.
Way off topic but ... How do you know she is in a better place?
Depression is a very serious illness, so when you say: "she decided to go, willingly" I disagree.
I am sad because I feel there was something someone could and should have done to get Amanda on a better path, to make her experience friendships and genuine happiness. Yet it didn't happen and she thought dying was better than living - before she had the chance to truly experience how wonderful life can be. How can you say that is not a tragedy? How can you be "happy" for her?
Before anyone flames me, I am going to speak in general here and nothing here directs to Amanda Todd.
Like Noir stated, it would take a lot for someone to commit suicide. And it's obvious that when one does, their reality and the problems surrounding their lives is greater than anything that person can handle.
Depression itself is not a serious illness. Everyone has depression, and I mean EVERYONE. But when it leads to social anxiety and self inflicting pain and wounds, then it's serious.
Take another scenario for example. Life threatening illness like cancer and such. When a patient is in so much pain, they would rather just take the needle and go.
When a dog or cat is in so much pain from life threatening diseases or wounds, veterinarian have to let them go.
Severe depression is no different here. The illness is so severe that it has come to a point where the person cannot handle social confrontation or even a simple conversation anymore because events in their life has traumatize them to trust anybody. Therefore, they continue to inflict pain by cutting and consuming chemicals, drugs, alcohol, etc. Which eventually might even lead to unexpected death.
To continue to inflict pain and consumption of chemicals is not the choice of the depressed person. It has become a part of them to do so because reality is so hard to accept that they wish they would just die.
By being happy when a person passes away is all base on my belief because I know that there is a better place after life. I believe that our body possesses a soul that operates our organs and decisions. Do you ever wonder, how come it is you that see through the eyes now? How come the eyes I'm looking through is not a Japanese person, or even an animal's? How are you controlling when to take a breath and when to blink? When we die, our soul goes into a plane where peace lies until we are reincarnated to live again. There might be a scientific explanation to all this, but because there are events in my life, especially in my sleep, that made me more of a believer than a non-believer.
Also, why no discussion of the prescription drugs she was on?
anti-depressants are dangerous, especially for teenagers. I had a friend who mistakenly went on anti-depressants due to depression caused by an injury and loss of mobility. He said he was fine for the first couple days and then the most intense suicidal feelings washed over him like he'd never experienced before. He had a horrible reaction and could not stop trying to self-harm, and had to be hospitalized. As soon as he stopped taking the meds, he nearly immediately recovered.
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When my Mothers husbands anti-depressants were switched to a different prescription, he killed himself no more than 2 weeks later. If these drugs don't work for someone, they do the EXACT opposite of what they should be doing.
Before anyone flames me, I am going to speak in general here and nothing here directs to Amanda Todd.
Like Noir stated, it would take a lot for someone to commit suicide. And it's obvious that when one does, their reality and the problems surrounding their lives is greater than anything that person can handle.
Depression itself is not a serious illness. Everyone has depression, and I mean EVERYONE. But when it leads to social anxiety and self inflicting pain and wounds, then it's serious.
Take another scenario for example. Life threatening illness like cancer and such. When a patient is in so much pain, they would rather just take the needle and go.
When a dog or cat is in so much pain from life threatening diseases or wounds, veterinarian have to let them go.
Severe depression is no different here. The illness is so severe that it has come to a point where the person cannot handle social confrontation or even a simple conversation anymore because events in their life has traumatize them to trust anybody. Therefore, they continue to inflict pain by cutting and consuming chemicals, drugs, alcohol, etc. Which eventually might even lead to unexpected death.
To continue to inflict pain and consumption of chemicals is not the choice of the depressed person. It has become a part of them to do so because reality is so hard to accept that they wish they would just die.
By being happy when a person passes away is all base on my belief because I know that there is a better place after life. I believe that our body possesses a soul that operates our organs and decisions. Do you ever wonder, how come it is you that see through the eyes now? How come the eyes I'm looking through is not a Japanese person, or even an animal's? How are you controlling when to take a breath and when to blink? When we die, our soul goes into a plane where peace lies until we are reincarnated to live again. There might be a scientific explanation to all this, but because there are events in my life, especially in my sleep, that made me more of a believer than a non-believer.
A major depressive disorder — usually just called “depression” — is different than the “blues”. Someone experiencing depression is grappling with feelings of severe despair over an extended period of time. Almost every aspect of their life can be affected, including their emotions, physical health, relationships and work. For people with depression, it does not feel like there is a “light at the end of the tunnel” — there is just a long, dark tunnel.
Depression IS a serious illness, you probably confuse it with feeling down every now and then.
As far as being a believer in life after death - I see where you are coming from. I don't share your belief but I understand how one could think the way you do. In essence, if I read you right, you feel she was in a lot of pain and now she is not, right? My point was that she didn't have to die to avoid such pain. She could have had help.
What should happen to those who bullied Amanda? Especially the guy spreading the picture?
I think only police should handle it (if there was criminal misconduct). The society should focus on developing methods to prevent tragedy like this one from happening in the future. But something tells me there are many who wish for a vigilante to do him harm.
Thoughts?
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