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Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Vancouver LifeStyles (VLS) > Relationship & Gender Discussion

Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

View Poll Results: How Important/Often Sex In Relationship?
Not Really (1 time every 2-3 mo) 8 2.96%
Somewhat/Once in A While (1 time every mo) 37 13.70%
Often (1-2 time every week) 179 66.30%
Always (1 or 2 times every day) 46 17.04%
Voters: 270. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-12-2012, 08:25 PM   #26
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2-3 times a day when in highschool
2-3 times a week when in university
2-3 times a month about to get married
2-3 times a year when you are seeing your ex gf again

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Old 05-12-2012, 08:26 PM   #27
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Luder,

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Old 05-13-2012, 04:08 PM   #28
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i cant see the pic kevin,

brb buying fleshlight
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Old 05-13-2012, 05:49 PM   #29
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Random Q, all you guys that are aggravated with your GFs .. how much free time would you say you have a day (be honest) ?
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Old 05-13-2012, 05:50 PM   #30
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Random Q, all you guys that are aggravated with your GFs .. how much free time would you say you have a day (be honest) ?
plenty more if they we'rent playing with their xbox all the time
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Old 05-13-2012, 06:33 PM   #31
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how much free time do i have to see the gf? i can only see her fridays/sat night and random sundays. and fri and sat nights are roughly..5hrs each night?

and i can only see her those days cus she cant see me the other days

and misstrinh, not everyone plays xbox -_- some play ps3! LOL jokess i got work all the time
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Old 05-13-2012, 06:44 PM   #32
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Haha I wish I could have sex 1-2 times every few months... I've been in a sex-less relationship for 3.5 years now because of different religious views. No sex before marriage. I don't believe in it but the gf does.

I love her a lot though and there are a lot of other things that make the relationship great. It just really really sucks that there is no sex in the relationship at all. I think that it's really important and it's what makes it a intimate romantic one instead of just a friendship. Our views on this have been on the opposite ends of the spectrum and we were always fighting about it all the time. I was always the one who brought it up so I just stopped bringing it up and there has been no more fighting. I just keep it to myself now and just try to deal with it.

It's all I ever think about now too and it's always in the back of my mind. Probably not mentally healthy but what can I do. That, stress from work, etc can get pretty taxing on my mind.
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Old 05-13-2012, 07:19 PM   #33
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ugh, i dont get why ppl wait until marriage....what a disappointment on your wedding night. fucking for the first time sucks.
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Old 05-13-2012, 07:27 PM   #34
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Tell me about it
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Old 05-13-2012, 07:54 PM   #35
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^ not that I am a proponent of MAKING someone have sex or anything....but does she have any girlfriends who HAVE had sex before marriage? I don't think she should be talked into doing the deed...but maybe she has put is on a pedestal and really doesn't understand the mechanics of it all...having sex for the first time as a dude is WAAAAAY different for a girl.

how old are you? how old is she? maybe this is more an age thing?
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Old 05-13-2012, 07:58 PM   #36
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Yea I'm pretty sure most of them have had sex before marriage.

We're both 20
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Old 05-13-2012, 08:08 PM   #37
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just propose now
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Old 05-13-2012, 08:30 PM   #38
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just propose now
Exactly, propose and get married now. I know quite a few church people who is doing that, getting married at 20-23. I'm willing to bet that sex is part of the reason for the early marriage.
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Old 05-13-2012, 08:32 PM   #39
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Already planning on it! Going to wait until she graduates from uni though.
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Old 05-13-2012, 09:09 PM   #40
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I've been in a sex-less relationship for 3.5 years now.
Wow, I applaud your tenacity.
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Old 05-14-2012, 01:51 AM   #41
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what !nhan said, but its not necessary to fuck every other day lol, i can survive with once a week, 2-3 times a month, but if u expecting me not to fuck and be with you.. good luck lol a boy gotta do what a boy gotta do, sometimes leftonya and rightanya doesnt do the job..
damn brah, aren't you my age too? strong resistance
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Old 05-14-2012, 01:54 AM   #42
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I'm 18 lol, I had my share of one night stands, fuck friends etc etc and juss want a down ass chick who I can kick it with haha sex would be extra bonus just different piorities atm dawg haha
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Old 05-14-2012, 08:28 AM   #43
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I think what's most important is not how often in general but that you and your partner have similier sex drives.

If one partner needs it like every day and the other only needs it once a week then it's a problem. But two people who only need sex once a week/month/year can be just as happy together as people who fuck every day cause that's both partner's level of desire.
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Old 05-14-2012, 11:11 AM   #44
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Haha nobody who has responded so far has kids.

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Old 05-14-2012, 11:52 AM   #45
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I don't have kids but I'm old and been tied down before (married / living with the person etc)

Every relationship is totally different and as time goes on it changes as well.

I was in a 3 year relationship that took forever to get anything going. Like 5 months. Girl was like no no no no no no I don't care. A year later, she was talking about 2 times a day as the perfect balance. Once in the morning once at night. We were both 20 at the time and broke it off at 22. I think the average was 8 times a week with her.

The next gf was for a year and that was once a day but the sessions were far more involved. So like 20 times per month. When we moved in together it was just like sex all the time. We both got nothing done with work and school and it was a mess. I ended up getting out of shape because I had no energy to work out. My balls were always hurting and it wasn't good. When we broke up it was really hard to deal with because there was this sudden loss of physical attention.

The next relationship was LONG and there were periods of 3 months of no sex. In the beginning it was a 3 times a week event, maybe 4. It depended on how much we would hang out. But every hang out was with my wang out.

After we moved in, we would fight every day and want to kill each other but no make up sex. That really sucked.

So the end result? Sex is important! It's not just about spearing some girl, but it's very important to have sex often (at least a few times per week).

A great friend of mine, probably 48 or so, has sex with his wife (who's older than him and still smoking hot) 4 times per week even if he doesn't feel like it. He says you have to make a choice in your mind and with your partner "Do you want to stay together?" If the answer is yes then you have to be close with one another. Of course, women need affection in other ways such as hugs and kisses and thoughtful comments etc etc. It's all about NOT falling out of that initial dating phase and YES, it is work but it's worth it.

You both have to make a choice. Often one person's sex drive is going to be more than the other person's that's a given. There needs to be some kind of an understanding and rules for the relationship. You may be surprised but in my relationship, I was the one that was often cutting off physical affection and it was the girl who was pissed off at me.

If you're not doing it, you're on a bad road.

Often for men that are very career focused, they can have issues wanting to do anything physical. Work stress, money stress, you just don't have the energy to get involved. It's not a good situation to be in an I learned a lot from my lack of interest in a partner. If you love the person, you need to make an effort to do things.

Truth be told, there were many times I was not in the mood but I never finished thinking "I shouldn't have done that" Busting a huge nut or for females to bit a hole through their pillow never feels like a waste. It's the 'pre' sex that makes it difficult.

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Old 05-14-2012, 06:54 PM   #46
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Haha I wish I could have sex 1-2 times every few months... I've been in a sex-less relationship for 3.5 years now because of different religious views. No sex before marriage. I don't believe in it but the gf does.

I love her a lot though and there are a lot of other things that make the relationship great. It just really really sucks that there is no sex in the relationship at all. I think that it's really important and it's what makes it a intimate romantic one instead of just a friendship. Our views on this have been on the opposite ends of the spectrum and we were always fighting about it all the time. I was always the one who brought it up so I just stopped bringing it up and there has been no more fighting. I just keep it to myself now and just try to deal with it.

It's all I ever think about now too and it's always in the back of my mind. Probably not mentally healthy but what can I do. That, stress from work, etc can get pretty taxing on my mind.
Religious views is a tough one. So much temptation! Like if you date at a young age and don't get married till later on, your nuts are going to be dry LOL. But on a serious note, I know how you feel. I was in a similar situation, but I only dated the girl for 15 months.
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Old 05-14-2012, 07:15 PM   #47
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Haha I wish I could have sex 1-2 times every few months... I've been in a sex-less relationship for 3.5 years now because of different religious views. No sex before marriage. I don't believe in it but the gf does.

I love her a lot though and there are a lot of other things that make the relationship great. It just really really sucks that there is no sex in the relationship at all. I think that it's really important and it's what makes it a intimate romantic one instead of just a friendship. Our views on this have been on the opposite ends of the spectrum and we were always fighting about it all the time. I was always the one who brought it up so I just stopped bringing it up and there has been no more fighting. I just keep it to myself now and just try to deal with it.

It's all I ever think about now too and it's always in the back of my mind. Probably not mentally healthy but what can I do. That, stress from work, etc can get pretty taxing on my mind.
hmmm if its religious views that might be a tough one. you might still succeed depending on how persuasive you are. persuasive in the verbal sense, and the physical sense. you gotta make her want it bad. you gotta get her all slippery and then remind her " you brought this onto yourself "

luck, good.
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Old 05-14-2012, 07:19 PM   #48
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I think what's most important is not how often in general but that you and your partner have similier sex drives.

If one partner needs it like every day and the other only needs it once a week then it's a problem. But two people who only need sex once a week/month/year can be just as happy together as people who fuck every day cause that's both partner's level of desire.
The truth, not alot of people understand that. They dont have sex often and their mind wanders everywhere, maybe theyre cheating or w/e.

Its a big problem, one of my frds been with this girl for 4 yrs and they havent done it in like almost 10 months. He tells me she says she doesnt like it but on the other hand he really needs the physical intimacy.

edit:^^ but if she has religious views, its best to stay clear and respect her values and wishes. I dont think it would be wise to try and slip it in, she might just break up with you cuz she'll think you dont respect her values
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Old 05-14-2012, 08:51 PM   #49
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I dated a woman once who wanted to remain a virgin until she married for non-religious reasons. I didn't date her for very long, but when we dated, we did fool around a lot. She had very sensitive areas of her body and in hindsight, if I had put in a bit more time, I likely would have broken her down. I wonder about relationships void of any sex for non-religious reasons. Is it simply a case of a man not being a man, for better lack of words?

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The truth, not alot of people understand that. They dont have sex often and their mind wanders everywhere, maybe theyre cheating or w/e.

Its a big problem, one of my frds been with this girl for 4 yrs and they havent done it in like almost 10 months. He tells me she says she doesnt like it but on the other hand he really needs the physical intimacy.
If she "doesn't like it", then perhaps if she really values the relationship, she should seek some professional help? It might have to do with her libido, which may require a diagnosis.

And how old is your friend and partner? Most women in their late 20s and early 30s are comfortable enough with their bodies to actually enjoy sex.
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Old 05-15-2012, 11:18 AM   #50
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The truth, not alot of people understand that. They dont have sex often and their mind wanders everywhere, maybe theyre cheating or w/e.

Its a big problem, one of my frds been with this girl for 4 yrs and they havent done it in like almost 10 months. He tells me she says she doesnt like it but on the other hand he really needs the physical intimacy.

edit:^^ but if she has religious views, its best to stay clear and respect her values and wishes. I dont think it would be wise to try and slip it in, she might just break up with you cuz she'll think you dont respect her values
This is a case of exactly what I'm saying. They don't match.

One of the things I flat out ask guys when I date is 'how often do you need to get laid' cause honestly - I work full time, I have a kid, I don't have a lot of free time to be with a SO to begin with and then on top of that I'm friggen tired some times. So if someone needs to be screwed silly 5 times a week - that's not going to work and I would rather just end that before it begins than deal with the fall out.

I think girls should be more honest about their sex drives. Guys also have to be more honest about their needs. These are conversations that should happen early in relationships not after a 10 month drought.
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