Yeah, I’ve somehow become a sexual deviant.

i talked to my dog before... good sounding board.

Lousy guangdong bastard!!!

ruff ruff!

yeah you tell your mama moochi!

IM NOT CRAZy, YOURE FUCKING CRAZY!!!

https://media.tenor.com/yiloFXMVk7gA...ons-maggie.gif

Become? Isn’t that why you left BC?

Deported

Except for the 2 week Christmas / New Year break, my mental health has been in shambles for the last 2+ months too.

Just too many things happening at work, at home, in life... and it doesn't help that my favourite escape -- the driving season -- is still 2 months away...

I'm married, mid 40s and now have a 7 mth kid so my mental health is non existent esp dealing with a wife. Glad i'm not 20s or else i woudl have ran away.

Same with RS as my mental health space LUL

But also going out to be social etc, plenty of free events around like networking/socials/meet-ups. Just getting out there to do anything and having a human interaction with someone goes along way - something that I wasn't doing before.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday who was going through a crisis, similar to my last one about career/life and how behind he felt, so I pushed him to go to a networking event. Then he hit me with the "woe is me" and how salty he felt about the transactional nature of networking - but I think that's a mindset thing. If you reframe it about community building and empowering the ecosystem (for your industry/passion), you'll have a significantly more impactful and enjoyable time. Vancouver is incredibly collaborative and most people are happy to talk about themselves/their projects/lend a hand (show their expertise), lean into it instead of being a bitch about it is what I told my friend.

Anyway, I got my friend out of the house, and he ended up having an awesome time and "networking has begun to heal my workplace trauma"

My #1 2026 goal is to fix my chronic fatigue.

I told my doctor this week, I've been seeing him for fatigue for annually for 8 years, and at this stage, I'm pretty sure I am dying. My energy levels for 5 years is near 0, never felt awake, sleep 8.5 hours and still dead, can't stay asleep, keep waking up.
- eat healthy 5-7x a week
- exercise 6x a week
- 30 years old
- tons of good friends, hobbies, social circles, and ways to vent stress and talk about feelings
- emotionally stable
- sleep duration is good, quality is low
- travel + tons of leisure time
- life is low stress relative to what world has to deal with
- grew up in a tough life, so I am very grateful for all lifes comfort
- gratitude journal
- stretch daily
- blood test is fine + sleep test
- don't feel depressed, life is too good to even feel this way
- low anxiety


It has lead to a split fork-road where I am 99% sure I am MEGA burnt out from spending 20-30 productivity maxing my entire life or I am depressed.

- Spent 8/15 years working life either working 2+ jobs, or FT School + 32hours+ of work in tandem
- exercising 2-6x a week
- trying to eating well
- build a social life
- side hustles
- travel, hobbies, interests and be a interesting person


This low energy has even got me turning to spirituality and praying

tldr; I am dying, napping 24/7 and tryna fix it finally, tba

The amount of times I've procrastinated on my assignments since starting my program has lead to many stress-inducing moments. Definitely not healthy. :heckno:

What I am currently planning to do to fix it, and open to suggestions
- likely quitting day job
- tryna reduce fixed costs to 0 - Mortgage, move home, etc
- do nothing
- dopamine detox
- going to try to exit my co-owned health and supplement store for 6 months,


take my 75 year old mom and see the world, idk at this point what will fix me?

I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of taking a year off, having no income then spending $50-70K to travel with my mom, spend time on myself and family. Cause it takes so long to save $50-70K. But if I am dying, I need to do it

well there's your fucking problem bro...

have you tried my eat fried chicken skin and NOT do exercise ...... exercise? might just cure what ails you

Stop saying you're dying - your brain reads into that and actually believes it. There was some kind of brain dr that came to my last workplace that preached about never tell urself you're dying and to eat walnuts. Sounds like hocus pocus, but you could start with that.

Also, I too cannot stay awake, but I am very unhealthy LOL. I think a large component of this is the WFH thing - I've noticed that being WFH, I feel more tired. I don't feel tired or sleepy when I'm out at events in DT for several hours. I hear its good to get 20 mins of sunshine when you wake up, so don't coup yourself up in your office.

ate fried chicken yesterday, 5 pieces


sports + exercise is the only time I feel awake and present, the bouts where I stop exercising completely because routine breaks due to travel or work, we go to a worser place.

that's why i picked up running, if I walk / run 20 minutes, it's the rare time where I feel similar to being awake in 2015-2019 for an hour

Todays the first day I said it, recognized it and somethings wrong.

Threw me off that I went to the doctor for fatigue annually for 6 years, sleep sucks, and I wake up tired af 24/7 and nap all the time

my wake up and sleep time is same time daily, I wake up and stare at sunshine to start the melatonin / circ rhythm.


I feel like I'm doing everything right

but yeah, all this I realized as of 12:00 PM today, it's not normal to see a doctor for fatigue for 6 years.


I started by reaching out to all close friends just now for help. Maybe they see something I don't

Even if it doesn't fix you, how could you possibly regret that? :)

if i take my old bat around the world, id probably drown her and then shoot myself in the head. That'll cure all my psychological issues as the bullet travels through my skull.

why cant you be more like your cousin... hes an ACTUAL LAWYER... youre just some drop out boat guy
why are you so fat? OH HERES SOME MORE WHIPPED CREAM and strawberries.. STOP EATING FATTY!!!
why dont you listen to me more!? OH DID I TELL YOU ABOUT how the CHINESE GOVERNMENT IS POISONING all of Shanghai !?!?

FUCK. YOU. AH. MO !!!!!!!! i swear to god if i could, id crawl back up your old snatch and suffocate myself... why the fuck did you create me!?!??!

========

Hehe as he reads this : BrokeBack loves his mom

thats why im also immune to 99% of cantonese swears... Diu my lo mo? go ahead!!!

RS to a degree for sure.

My company actually has a pretty generous and robust mental health coverage so I've been utilizing counseling quite often here to help get through this whole breakup and its recent fallout.

It does help just blabbing to a stranger in a more clinical sense, as opposed to just getting therapy all the time from your buds :lol

Financial health is a big driver of mental health. Same with work health.

I've brought this up before and it bears to bring it up again, I was depressed and on the verge of committing suicide. A life changing job change suddenly turned that dark hole I was in to a bright and cheerful place.

I went from a depressing toxic workplace full of politics to an office that appreciated everyone. I no longer had a 5 day commute through slogging traffic instead I had a hybrid schedule where I could take the train to work. Work is something you spend the majority of your life doing and if it's a terrible slog or toxic it's going to affect you tons.

The second part is the new job paid more, we are talking about 64% more pay. I went from paycheque to paycheque to being able to actually safe money, and splurge a little here or there on life's luxuries.

time to run the sinclair gym sesh :ilied:

Gonna take the leap of faith and hope this is what I need

try a digital detox, at least from the social media platforms that force you to endlessly scroll.

Aw shit did you actually break up after all that drama? That sucks man, but sounds like it was for the best.

Can we go after Vlad now?

could be all the constant yammering about plowing poop chutes around here. mostly from one person but who's counting?

This for sure, I also think by using IG/Tiktok less, my mood has gotten so much better.

HowÂ’s your posture? Are you a back or side sleeper? Compressed/pinched nerves can affect sleep that wont get caught in a blood test. Or if you had bad posture, it could have accelerated osteoarthritis in your spine. Have you tried a different mattress or a pillow? What does your sleep score say on your smartwatch?

Hokey pokey science but dry needling/acupuncture might help with your sleep.

Edit: splurge and go to an asian country that offers a full medical checkup like mri/ct scan, colonscopy/endoscopy etc that you can buy for a second opinion.

I would becareful with company provided mental health support. No judgement sure, but they will know that you accessed help and it may be detrimental to your chances to move up in the future. That was second hand info.