Sorry to hear about how it ended, Mike. And the way it ended sounded absolutely crazy.

With at least a few ex-es, I had gone through a similar mental state as you are doing now, although my past relationships mostly only ended bcos of incompatibility or that we were looking for different things. Still, there were parts of me that wanted closure, parts that wanted to understand how it came to happen, why she found it necessary to end our relationship, etc. In most cases, I never got the closure or answers I wanted, and closure only came when enough time has passed, or that I had let go myself. But in most cases, full closure never came. I'd like to believe that this sort of thing in life is what makes us human, that help us mature, and give us the desire to do better than what we weren't able to do in the past.

Take care and hang in there, bro.

That sucks bro, I got nothing else to add but stay strong and you'll get through this. In any rate a guy like you probably won't be single for long...or at least without companionship for very long.

Mike's ex sounds like some sort of an avoidant to me. Look it up, (attachment theory), it might help you with closure and an understanding that you might not get from her. I got wrecked after many years with one and am still sorting out the ashes of my world that she set on fire and then pissed on. 2-years of therapy and I
'm still trying to rebuild myself. Once they get exposed from their prim and proper ways that they show the world, they simply wont give a fuck about you

Mike is going to mexico? Single?

I can hear the SIIIII PAAAAPPPIIII all the way from here

It sucks to hear Mike.

But you should be able to move on pretty quick... I mean, you're not like your typical 40-something guy who's balding, overweight, and sleeping on his mom's couch who finds himself single after a divorce. You've already locked in on the gym, you have a 6-figure income, and you have your own place. You're doing better than 90-95% of the single men in their 40s. It’s all mental for you now.

I turned 50 in December, my work outs have been fairly consistent 5-6 days a week but I can't seem to lose fat or put on muscle. I've probably gained 10 pounds over the last year, not good weight and almost all of it one my belly.

I understand that age and diet have a lot to do with it and if I'm being honest with my self my diet is probably the main issue. I know for sure I'm not getting enough protein, problem is I'm not a big meat eater and having trouble getting enough. I also have an issue with snacking after dinner, this has always been an issue but the 2 years before this last one it was sustainable with exercise and kind of the one thing that keeps me sane knowing I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy.

I'm seriously considering getting my Testosterone tested and if low going the TRT route. Has anyone here done this, did it help?

Wait hol up, doesn't your ex get half your stuff Mike? Since you're probably common law I'm guessing.

not necessarily, theres alot of details and fine print, reason for separation, and how you want to get lawyers involved.

You've pretty much hit most of the issues right on already.

Snacking after dinner is a big problem, if you must, pick something that's less calories like plain popcorn.
Not eating enough meat is not the main issue there's plenty of ways to get protein, the bigger issue is being heavy on easy carbs like rice and noodles and pasta. You might want to move on to quinoa, or cut the amount of easy carbs. The chicken and broccoli diet works and that's why so many ppl are on it.

Sorry to hear Mike. Sounds really messed up :/.

---

Training for a Triathlon, Day 3

Half of the assets accumulated during the relationship.

If they rented, it's just pensions and other savings. It all depends on who accumulated more assets during their relationship. People just assume it's the man, but not always.

^It's nowhere near that simple actually...

but they were renting anyway if I remember what Mike said correctly

Well given what Mike's told us about his ex's spending habits, I'm pretty sure most of the remaining financial assets will be in his name.

sorry Mike, we probably shouldn't be speculating about this without your permission

mon-fri ive been keeping calories super low (under 900) in anticipation of vday and cny weekend.

post workout: protein shake 120 cal
meal 1: 1 cup chicken broth 20 cal and 3 eggs 150 cal
snack: fruit of some sort, lets call it 100 cal
meal 2: 1 cup chicken broth 20 cal and 4oz hotpot steak 300 cal
post 2nd workout: casein shake 120 cal

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/img_7510-jpg.1186880/

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/img_7515-jpg.1186881/

Dude that's not sustainable.

the word "hotpot" is on every single page of Revscene

We need a politician to outlaw hot pot. I find it culturally repulsive and an abomination to society.

Will you be that leader?

Been there, done that. Been on both sides. I cheated, gf found out. She forgave me and then i foudn her cheating.

ANYHOO. Like some of you said, better to know rather than 'what if' it was me type feeling. 5 yrs is going to rough and on the other hand, you'll never feel the same esp with the Iwas in my bed whole time while...

purge and let it go. it's a new day i guess. best of luck to ya. I think the best revenge was "how the hell did he know" is always the best feeling cause she'll always wonder why, what, where.. and the ghost will haunt her for good.

I had my testosterone checked at my last blood test as I'm the same age as you and was following the advice here about it getting it checked but turned out mine was fine. Turns out the difficulty in adding muscle and losing fat at 50 is just old age.

Besides your diet (which is definitely THE main issue) I wonder if you're working out too much and not allowing enough time for recovery. 5-6 times is a lot for a 50 year old unless you've always worked out that much or the workouts are pretty light/broken down. Is your cardio high enough to push hard with weight training? At our age the V02 max expectations are surprisingly low - an average 50 y.o male's can get pretty gassed (cardio wise) lifting.

Keep the workouts, add in daily walking (aim for 8-10k steps daily), increase protein/fibre to keep you feeling full, stop/decrease post dinner snacking entirely if you can. You need to get the calories under control if you want to start losing fat. The main culprit is usually an excess of carbs as mentioned above.

Mike's in his financial prime, and physically more prime than most out there. he'll be fine. like most guys (i know a few going thru divorces last year or 2), it's mostly mental - getting over it and being strong and moving on. easier said than done. 1 acquaintance after almost 2 years is finally in a good mental state which is great b/c at 1 point he was close to rock bottom.

outside of complications, i recall he said she makes pretty decent bank. assuming they're fairly even financially, hopefully he won't get taken to the cleaners and can split as fair & amicably as possible. hopefully she's not the type that likes drama and dragging it out, b/c only lawyers win in those cases.

i think the best revenge is to live a healthy/happy/prosperous life, show indifference and zero interaction. ignore and move on, as if she meant nothing and already forgotten. i think a lot of people have main character syndrome and like seeing the impact they have on people.

You are remembering some wrong details.
She's got massive debt.... I don't think it was loc, I think it was credit card debt.
She lied about making bank unless she's working multiple jobs because her earnings are public knowledge.
How she even going to afford legal aid with no money.
Best case scenario is she hides in shame so Mike doesn't have to deal with her crappy financial situation.

ugh, old man memory, thx for correcting me.

IIRC she's an RN which means fulltime is a six figure job. Debt is another issue.